Come Out and Find Me
by lovebugxstories
Summary: Santana and Brittany both are trying to deal with their feelings and insecurities triggered by the famous locker scene - but what is going to happen when a third character is being introduced? How is jealousy going to affect Brittany?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So, this is my first Brittana multi-chapter fic ever and I'm curious to see if people think it might have potential :) The following chapters will also include Brittany POVs, this is just supposed to function as an appetizer. So - reviews would be very much appreciated and totally motivate me to continue this little piece! Cheers!**

**P.S: Since English isn't my first language (and I have no beta reader) I really hope there aren't too many mistakes in here. I know how it is to read a story that is full of grammar and spelling mistakes (I am a total language dictator when it comes to my mother tongue), so feel free to yell at me ;)**

**Chapter 1**

As much as Santana had hated being rejected by Brittany and admitting her feelings, she also felt as if a door inside of her had been opened. Even though she still didn't feel like screaming 'I LOVE GIRLS' in the school hallway, it did seem like she had been hiding a huge part of her character, even from herself. As much as it scared the hell out of her, and as much as she wasn't able to speak out the words 'I am a lesbian', so many things, so many situations in her past made so much more sense now. The extreme crush she used to have on DJ from Full House when she was in third grade, her sudden motivation to study algebra after she had met her new maths teacher Miss Norton and yes, even the emotional numbness she had experienced countless times after having slept with a guy.

Santana had gotten used to this numb feeling, it was as if she had accepted that love was simply overrated or that she just wasn't emotional enough to really feel something strong enough to start a real relationship. Sex with guys did give her physical satisfaction, no doubt about that, and Santana had always known what she liked and wanted. Still, a huge part was missing. Cuddling just seemed so entirely wrong to the latina, only the thought of it made her nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to avoid eye-contact with most of her lovers, hoping to be able to only focus on the physical sensation she was experiencing, not on the person she was experiencing it with.

Still, Santana had managed to become an expert at ignoring all these signs. Even when Brittany and her had started making out, the brunette was not willing to analyze the difference these nights with her best friend made from the nights she had spent with Puck, Sam or her previous lovers. She explained the constant wish to touch and kiss the girl with a need for comfort from a person she could trust, a kind gesture between good friends, a friendly connection between girls.

All these past years she had become Santana Lopez, a strong, tough, heterosexual woman who didn't need anyone to emotionally get close to her and who wouldn't mind verbally (or even physically) take down anyone who got in her way. Right now, however, she felt just like Santana, a confused girl in high school, suddenly realizing how her angry attitude had been a cover all these years, suddenly realizing how she was madly in love with her best friend, finally accepting that she _did_ in fact love postcoital cuddling, but only if it was with someone who was so amazingly beautiful and - well - _female_ as Brittany.

It all was like brand new knowledge to Santana. She figured that, now that at least she knew what her year-long 'problem' had been, she might as well figure out some more about what she had pushed down all this time. She was lucky no one could read her thoughts when she sat in class, feeling like a 'fresh lesbian' and checking out her female classmates in order to see if she could make out a certain type that she liked. Finally allowing herself these thoughts, Santana caught herself gazing up and down several silhouettes of girls entering the classroom.

First there was Quinn, hell, she was beautiful and flawless. Santana figured she might even be too flawless for her personal taste. She had a beautiful face, perfect teeth, big eyes, even a good body, but if she compared her to another certain blonde, Quinn just lacked sexyness. Brittany not only had a beautiful face and the most amazing cat-like eyes she had ever seen, her whole body, the way that she moved, the way her shirts fell over her curves... - Santana had to stop these thoughts. Analyzing how Brittany was better than the rest had not been the purpose of all this.

Santana forced her gaze over to Rachel Berry. It was no secret that Santana was, in 90% of the cases, completely annoyed by the highly ambitious brunette, still she had to acknowledge that the girl wasn't ugly. Her smile was - if it came naturally - quite pretty, just as her hair and - not to forget - her voice which added a lot to her desirability. Yes, if Rachel wasn't such a pain in the ass, she could definitely have potential.

Still eyeing the entrance of the classroom, Santana suddenly noticed an unfamiliar face. Well, to be accurate, the face wasn't entirely unfamiliar, it belonged to a girl Santana had seen several times before and who used to be in a higher grade than herself. Her name was Stacey Claridge and no one had seen her for a couple of months. As one might expect, people at school had been gossiping about the reasons for her disappearing, one being crazier than the other. Whereas most people expected Stacey to have hidden a pregnancy, others were sure she had killed someone, ran away or went to jail.

Santana had to admit, the girl was probably one of the few people in this highschool who was in the same league as the latina when it came to having a big mouth - still the two of them couldn't have been more different. Stacey was in fact a quite beautiful girl, yet dressing in a way some people might call 'boy-ish'. Not wearing very much makeup, parts of her straight blonde hair were hidden underneath a yellow cotton hat, her green and blue checkered loose blouse only indicating that a well shaped body was hiding underneath it. Her dark but slim fitting jeans looked used and fringy - just like her Converse chucks.

"So.. is this Mister Parker's English class?" the new girl asked into the by now mostly filled classroom.

"Wow, a tongue piercing? That is so 1995..." was Santana's reply, who had seen something blinking inside Stacey's mouth and trying to show her right away who was the badass chick around here.

The blonde girl seemed highly unimperessed, taking Santana's remark as a yes and sitting down on the chair right next to her.

"Well, pussy licking is much more fun with a metal ball in your mouth" she technically breathed into the brunette's ear and with that just gave her new neighbour a superior twinkle, leaving Santana stunned and speechless.

Even after the last sounds of the schoolbell were over, Santana still felt confused and weird, nervous even. Suddenly all she could think of was this new person who just happened to show up and act like a full experienced lesbian. A girl that seemed so completely in terms with herself and yet seemed so mysterious. The brunette couldn't help but see it as a sign, an obviously experienced gay girl, having disappeared for months and now needing to repeat a year, just happens to sit down right next to her, now, of all times. The latina couldn't help but feel entirely drawn to Stacey - not because she had planned to fall in love with the first real lesbian she would meet, but mostly because she desperately needed someone to talk to. And because she needed distraction from her recent heartbreak. And because she sure as hell needed to make someone jealous...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Already a big THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate that! And yeah, I'm actually quite quick with my second chapter since I had already started writing it a few days ago. Hope you enjoy :) - oh and don't forget to tell me what you think!**

**Chapter 2**

Not talking to Brittany was one of the hardest experiences Santana ever had to go through. She didn't know why exactly she shut out the blonde completely – was it because she felt hurt? Embarassed? Because she wanted to punish her for choosing a boy in a wheelchair over her? All of the above?

Santana couldn't quite make out what was worse, living a life without her best friend, without the person she was in love with, or being constantly around her, listening to her rambling about her straight relationship and how talking about their feelings made Brittany's and Artie's sexlife so much _better. _

People had asked her questions about it, asked her how Brittany and her could have gone from inseparable in the one minute to two girls who didn't seem to know each other in the next minute, but Santana refused to say anything about it. She didn't want to get Rachel Berry's pitiful looks when Brittany entered the room and sat down as far away from the latina as possible. She didn't want to hear Mercedes ask her why the blonde dancer looked so sad all the time and she certainly did _not _want to have guys at school ask her if Artie and Brittany broke up and they might therefore have a chance with the popular dancer again.

"I don't know, as long as you have a dick I'd say you have a pretty good chance" was Santana's typical huffy answer, even though she knew it wasn't fair. In her heart she knew it was not about the fact that the blonde had chosen a guy over a girl, it was about not hurting Artie's _feelings._

A year ago, Brittany wouldn't have cared about all this, not because she wasn't a good person, just because she didn't know much about relationships and what it was like to date someone for more than just occasional fucking. She always had a reputation of being 'easy to have' and Brittany had liked to share physical experiences with many guys and girls at school, never taking any of them too seriously.

Why did it have to be Artie to bring out this 'serious' side in her? It could have been the latina herself, her best friend, who would finally show her what love looked like. But it was too late, Santana knew that now. And as humiliated as she was, she was still Santana Lopez, she would _not _sink so low and wait for Brittany to break up with her boyfriend. Santana Lopez was _not _second choice.

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Brittany had been confused very often in her life - hell, even breakfast was confusing for her – but the situation with Santana nearly made the blonde's head explode. She used to be a happy person, never really worrying about anything, but not being able to hug Santana, knowing that no one would knock at her door after school or defend her when people made fun of her, it made her incredibly sad.

She was so confused that she forgot to sleep and eat – one day she even came to school without wearing shoes. All she did was repeatedly think of what had been happening, asking herself what she did wrong, why she was being punished for trying to do the right thing for the first time. She felt not complete without Santana, she knew that. She knew that she wasn't the smartest person, but her best friend had always managed to bring out the best in her. She never judged her, always explained her things she didn't understand, always reminded her of all sorts of stuff that she wasn't supposed to forget – Santana made Brittany function.

All her life, Santana had been the person that Brittany wanted to be around the most. The blonde never really bothered analyzing her sexuality, and to be honest - she couldn't care less if she was straight or gay or bisexual. All she had ever wanted was to be happy and have someone around her who she could be happy with.

When Santana had kissed Brittany for the first time, the blonde was completely excited about how nice it felt. The latina had explained to her that they needed to practice french kissing for the boys, that it was just what best friends were for. Brittany had believed her, but it didn't take much for her to convince the brunette that they should practice this as often as possible.

"This is so much fun, San! You're a really good kisser!", she had said, giggling and hugging Santana. "Would you mind if we practice some more?"

"I suppose you can never practice enough" was the latina's reply right before she took the blondes head in her hands and dragged her closer to her face.

During the next few months, Santana had come up with many more things to practice with Brittany and the blonde loved all the new tasks her best friend gave her. They had gone from practicing french kisses to practicing hickeys, to practicing nibbling each others earlobes (Santana had told Brittany that this was especially important).

When the brunette one day suggested that they should practice undressing, Brittany had been confused for a moment.

"But I undress every day before showering, I think I'm good at that", she had stated proudly, but Santana convinced her that this was entirely different, so they practiced that too.

After the first time the two girls had slept together, Brittany wanted to know if she had lost her virginity now. Santana explained to her that she didn't because practicing didn't count, so Brittany believed this as well and Lewis Stutterberg, a basketball player, later took her virginity instead.

"San? How come the _real _kissing and the _real _sex is never as good as when you and I do it?" the blonde girl had asked a few weeks later at a sleepover.

"Well, seems like the guys didn't practice enough then. It will get better honey, trust me." Santana had explained, lovingly stroking the girls naked belly.

Of course, at some point there basically wasn't anything left that the two girls hadn't practiced before, still their lovemaking never stopped. Both of them were scared to speak out loud that by now they were quite good at anything sexual, so they just decided to ignore that fact and to keep enjoying each other.

Whereas Brittany was sure she loved Santana with all her heart, she never dared to ask serious questions about their relationship. She was afraid she might scare her best friend away, who often made it clear that she only slept with the blonde when no guy was available. Brittany had accepted this. But dating Artie had changed something in her. She had realized that Artie was willing to do things that no one – except Santana – had ever wanted to do before. Whereas all the boys and girls before had only been seeking their own personal pleasure, Artie and Santana both made sure the blonde felt fine, comfortable, and of course satisfied after sex. They both didn't want to leave after making out, they both told her she was beautiful, they happily breathed her name when they came.

The only difference was that Artie told her he loved her. He talked about what he felt and how happy he was to be in a relationship with her, so for Brittany it became clear she could love two people at the same time. One person who she'd always love and who she'd want to spend the rest of her life with, and one person who she loved for being loved back.

She wasn't used to the feeling of knowing she was being loved. Brittany knew what love felt like, she experienced it every day when she saw Santana, so she knew one thing: If Artie loved her the same way that she loved her best friend, then she would make sure to never hurt him.

But now, after what had happened, she wasn't sure at all anymore that this was the right thing to do because... – how could something be right if it made you feel so miserable? And how could Santana have needed so long to realize what she felt for her? And why couldn't they just go on right as before if the plumbing was different anyways? Brittany wished, more than anything, that someone could finally explain it all to her.

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Lost in thoughts, her iPod in her ears and her hoodie over her head, Santana walked through the hallway, not wanting to talk to anyone. She was humming the melody of Bruno Mars' 'Grenade', even though she didn't like the guy at all and used to be sure that women who loved his lyrics had to be desperate, old and ugly virgins. Still - pitying herself because of everything that had happened and mentally yelling 'BUT YOU WON'T DO THE SAME!' at Brittany made her feel a little better.

Walking in the direction of her locker she kept her eyes down to her feet, the place still bringing back uncomfortable memories. After the last incident, she hoped Brittany at least wouldn't try to talk to her again when she saw her there, Santana was not ready for this and felt too close to her breaking point whenever the blonde looked at her.

Not paying much attention, the latina suddenly ran into something soft - she quickly looked up and realized it was Lauren who was obviously looking at something. Taking her earphones out, Santana mumbled a short apology and walked around the bigger girl in order to see what could be so interesting.

What she saw made Santana's heart skip a beat, her hands and arms feel as if ants were running through it and her face turn hot and red - all within seconds. Over one of the lockers someone had sprayed the word 'DYKE' in big red letters and people were pointing their finger at it, whispering.

Santana felt like running out of the building, it was like a bad dream and she could already feel the insane humiliation. Why did she have to tell Brittany the truth? Wasn't this exactly what she had been afraid of? Ending up like Kurt and being bullied and made fun of? She felt like she couldn't move so she just stared at the locker, paralyzed - probably waiting for a slushy to hit her face.

Suddenly she could hear the whispering grow louder and felt someone push her aside. It was Stacey Claridge, heading straight to the locker and opening it. It took the latina a few moments to realize that it had not been her own locker door that was messed up, it was Stacey's whose was located just two doors next to hers.

Protectively folding her arms in front of her chest, Santana watched Stacey throw some books into her locker and close it loudly.

"Nothing to see here, fuckers! Just a dyke storing her books!" the girl yelled annoyed.

Puck was still staring at the scene, his laugh indicating that he was quite entertained.

"Same goes for you, idiot!" she hissed at him, raising her middle finger and licking it with her piercing - causing Puck's grin to freeze and finally all other people to leave. All others except a certain ex-cheerio.

The bell had already rung and the hallway was getting empty. Stacey's and Santana's gazes met as they were still the only ones who hadn't gone to class.

"Didn't think that already one remark would make you go all homophobe against me.." the blonde girl said, clearing her throat and straightening her green cardigan.

Santana couldn't believe her ears.

"Wait - you... you think I did that?" she replied completely confused now.

"Who else should have done it? And you know what, I don't even give a damn shit, I just pity you" , Stacey said, breaking their gaze now, shaking her head and heading towards the exit door.

"What the fuck, girl! WAIT!" - Santana could not just let this go, she knew she was responsible for a lot of crap and a lot of humiliations, but this certainly wasn't one of them. She felt the need to shake Stacey and tell her to take that back.

"Take that back!", she yelled angrily (but without the shaking part) and blocked Stacey's way out of the building.

The older girl just looked Santana straight in the eyes.

"I will not. Cause you know what, pretty? Just because YOU have a problem with your sexuality, it certainly does NOT give you the right to bash those who have the guts to admit who they really are. So yes, I _do_ pity you."

With that she pushed the latina out of her way once and for all, lighting a cigarette that she had fumbled out of her pocket, and left the school area.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm seriously happy that in fact many people seem to be following my story - thanks a bunch to all the reviewers and subscribers. Still - tell me what you think about the plot so far! I'm also open for any recommendations or ideas about what you'd like to happen. Do you like the idea of Stacey? Do you want her out of Santana's reach? Let me know ;)**

**Chapter 3**

"Artie...?"

"Hmm..?" came the boy's sleepy response.

"Artie, are you awake?"

"Yes, Brittany, I am now, what's wrong?" her boyfriend replied confused, turning on the light on his nightstand and putting on his glasses.

His eyes slowly adjusting to the brightened room, he could make out the silouhette of his girlfriend who was laying on the side, supporting her head with her hand and her elbow pressed firmly on the matress, facing him. It was obvious the girl had been wide awake for a while.

"What is it, Brit?", he asked, concern in his voice.

"Why do you love me, Artie? - I mean... why do you wanna be with me?" - Brittany's voice sounded a little desperate.

Artie had to smile, though he still couldn't quite make out what this was all about.

"Uh.. I don't know Brit" he started hesitantly, "I just do... isn't that enough?"

The blonde looked disappointed.

"No. No, I'd really like to hear a real reson. Please?"

"Um okay, so, where do I start..." the young man tried to find the right words, obviously realizing this conversation was not going to be over anytime soon.

"So.. you're very pretty. And... well, you're also very nice to people. You don't care about looks and labels, I mean, you're so beautiful and also talented, and still you were willing to go out with a guy like me.. I'm just the luckiest guy in this school for having the chance to date you", he finally finished, quite satisfied with his speech and smiling at the girl in front of him.

He leaned over to kiss Brittany who remained stiff, not really moving her lips.

"And.. you're totally over Tina? Why do you rather wanna be with me than her?"

"Brit, where is this coming from?" Artie wanted to know, suddenly really starting to worry.

"Just answer, ok. I just want answers." The strict, impatient tone was something the boy had never even heard in Brittany's usually sweet and calm voice before. He sighed.

"Listen, Brit, I don't wanna be with Tina anymore because I'm in love with you. This is just what happens you know? Sometimes you date people because you like them, but after a while you realize you're just better off as friends. And I mean, look at Tina, she found Mike now and she seems so happy with him and I found you, you know? Sometimes you first have to be with other people in order to realize that you rather belong with someone else."

Tears were welling up in Brittany's eyes.

"Heeeey... hey, Brit, no need to cry now." Artie hugged his girlfriend and carefully stroked her hair.

"Thanks", the blonde sniffled. "Thanks for clearing that up. I understand much better now."

Artie smiled and kissed the blonde's forehead, obviously not aware of what he had just cleared up for her.

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Santana still couldn't believe what had happened the previous day at that hallway. How on earth could Stacey _possibly _know that she was confused about her sexuality? They hadn't even spoken more than one sentence to each other. Did something like a 'gay-dar' really exist? And if it did, why didn't she seem to have one herself?

The latina felt exposed and weirdly hurt by the girls accusations and she didn't even have anyone to talk to about all this. She certainly couldn't talk to Brittany and once again felt this crucial pain in her chest for not being able to share things with her best friend anymore.

After having to sit through some torturous maths and geography lessons that she mainly spent lost in thoughts over locked pinkies and body shots out of belly buttons, Santana decided she would just avoid these two blondes that had decided to make her life complicated. Hell, she decided she'd better avoid _all _blondes from now on since they seemed to be cursed.

Quinn became the first victim of Santana's new decision, calling the latina accross the hallway.

"Santana! Hey! Why are you walking so fast? I just wanted to ask you if..."

"NOT TALKING right now" - the brunette answered loud but sharply, not even looking at the former cheerleader and heading straight to her next course.

Unfortunately her project needed to be shattered only seconds later when she heard loud voices from around the corner. Spying from a few steps afar Santana had - once again - to witness Stacey Claridge be involved in a scene that nearly made her stomach turn around.

"You've got to be kidding me..." she mumbled to herself, seeing as some people were laughing at the girl who was wearing wide jeans, skater shoes and a long colorful scarf, being artistically draped around her neck, hiding most of her chest and cleavage.

Stacey - despite her tough features - seemed to look slightly disturbed and uncomfortable.

Santana came a few steps closer and could easily overhear the voices around the blonde girl.

"Dyke!" - a guy yelled, ridiculously trying to hide the word under a fake sneeze. His friend, laughing about the oh so funny comment, deliberately ran into the blonde, apologizing with a well pronounced "Oh, I'm so sorry, _sir_."

More guys around them started cracking up over this new funny game, obviosuly planning to join it.

"Hey, Stacey!" one of them added, "what are you even hiding under these baggy pants? I bet it's a long strap-on!"

The laughter turned louder and Santana only then realized how her nails were digging into her palms from the angry fist she'd been making these past few minutes.

Yes, she was still mad at the girl for accusing her of having sprayed her locker - still she felt somehow personally attacked by the whole scene.

What happened next was just the cherry on the cake and the last spark Santana needed to lose her poise. With a loud splash, followed by a girl's shriek, one of the bullies had thrown a slushy right into Stacey's face.

Before anyone - not even the attacked girl herself - had a chance to react, Santana stormed over to the crowd.

"Slushy her? Seriously?" the latina yelled furiously.

"Yes, now I'm sure you feel _so _fucking awesome, you pathetic little morons. I bet all of you losers are sitting at home every night, jerking off over lesbian porn and then _bash_ girls like her"

Santana had wanted to say 'girls like _us_' but it had felt too soon and too final.

"I can tell you one thing, boys - I'm fucking sure _this _girl right here has better sex than _you_ will ever have!"

Not noticing - or maybe not caring - how most people were quietly staring at her by now, Santana just turned to Stacey (the slushy still dropping from her face) and pressed her lips forcefully on hers.

People had turned quiet around them, barely believing what was happening in front of their eyes.

Stacey immediately responded to the kiss and it seemed as if their lips were dancing for a few seconds. Santana felt excited, amazed by the fact to kiss a strange girl in the hallway, approving of how good the girl's cold lips tasted - definitely like cherry coke slushed ice.

She could smell that - despite her looks - Stacey did in fact have a very female scent. Something like roses, she wasn't quite sure. Also her lips were soft, definitely more kissable than any male lips she had ever locked her own with. She didn't wanna stop this moment right away.

After a few more seconds, finally releasing the apparently confused blonde from her tight grip, Santana looked around into the faces of the people who had become witness of the scene. Still a little out of breath she put her hands on her hips, a quite triumphant look on her face.

"Now I bet this made you _all_ jizz in your pants, you homophobic fuckers" and with that made her way through the group of boys who were all laughing, whistling and applauding by now.

The one person who was neither laughing, nor applauding stood a few steps afar from the scene. Paralyzed and sad, Brittany stared at her former best friend who was walking right into her direction. Their gazes met for just a second before Santana quickly looked down, fastening her steps.

Brittany could do nothing but let the latina leave, scared as hell of the thought that Stacey Claridge might become Santana's new Mike Chang.

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TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm really happy that more and more people seem to be joining me in this story - as always THANKS to everyone who reviews and subscribes! I love hearing what you think about the plot and the characters. This chapter is a little bit longer than the previous ones, I thought you should all get a chance to get to know Stacey a little better!**

**Enjoy reading, looking forward to hearing your opinions ;)**

**Chapter 4**

Brittany's head was spinning. The blonde dancer sat on her bed with her cat on her lap, petting her back over and over again while staring out of the window. The scene of Santana kissing another girl was repeating in her mind, just like the talk she had with Artie the night before.

She couldn't quite describe what she was feeling, the emotional confusion simply being too much for her. The longer she tried to analyze the situation, the more she came to the conclusion that she was stuck in the biggest conflict she ever had to deal with.

Brittany knew one thing for sure now: she was right for Artie, but Artie wasn't right for her, the consequence being that there was absolutely _no_ pleasent way to solve all this . Whatever she was about to do, someone was going to get hurt - if not Artie, then at least herself.

Her mind wandered back to Stacey and Santana. What if Santana was right for Brittany , but she wasn't right for her friend? What if Stacey was about to take that place? If it really was the older girl who Santana could be happy with, then Brittany was out of the picture. Then she would have to accept this.

So many possibilities, she just wished her cat or _someone_ could tell her what to do.

Carefully putting the fluffy animal on the floor next to the bed, Brittany began digging in her bag to search for a piece of paper and a pen.

If _anyone_ was in the position to judge whether the new blonde girl was a right match for her friend, it was Brittany herself, the person who knew Santana Lopez better than anyone else. She decided that she would make a list with everything she knew Santana loved and needed and then closely check out Stacey Claridge.

All she wanted was for her best friend to be happy - if it turned out that Stacey was actually capable of making that happen, then she would use all her willpower to ignore her own feelings and let Santana be with who she belonged.

Sighing sadly, she let her pen run over the paper.

_N°1 : Santana needs to get a pinata for her birthday. She's been getting one every year since she could walk, without it she will be really sad._

_N°2: Do not insist on taking Santana ice skating. When she was 5 an older boy bumped into her and cut her with the blade of his skate, that's how she got the little scar above her hip. Since that day, ice skating really freaks her out!_

_N°3: Make sure to have raspberry syrup at home when Santana visits you, she puts it on everything! Ice cream, cake, fries, cheese - even raspberries!_

_N°4: Turn off the standby lights of the television when Santana stays at your place over night. The little red light makes her nervous!_

_N°5: If she still can't sleep: play with her belly button! She really likes that and will sleep in no time..._

The blonde girl sat like this for hours, sometimes smiling a little at the memories that came to her mind. Only when she reached N° 137 , the pen dropped out of her hand onto the floor and Brittany fell asleep soundly with her head resting on the list.

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The next morning at school had begun better than Santana had expected. Despite a few little jokes and remarks it seemed as if no one cared that much about her scene in the hallway anymore. Sometimes she was glad this was high school - one minute you were the center of attention, the next minute someone's chlamydia was a lot more interesting.

Sitting in Mister Parker's English class, the latina was eying the empty seat next to her. Just when she was about to hope that Stacey wasn't going to show up anymore, the door opened, the girl entered the room, and silently sat down.

For a few awkward minutes none of them said anything until the blonde girl cleared her throat.

"Thanks... for yesterday..."

"Yeah.." came the latina's reply who didn't really know where to look or what to do with her hands.

"So... I guess it really wasn't you then..." Stacey went on and watched the brunette girl from the corner of her eye.

"Nope. _Told _you so..." she answered, frowning slightly.

Santana wondered if this was all the blonde had to offer as an apology and now looked at the girl expectantly.

"Well... I'm sorry okay? I don't know, I guess I was just wrong then with what I said.."

Stacey had finally looked the other girl in the eyes as well in order to make sure her apology seemed sincere. They kept staring at each other for a few more seconds before Santana managed to bring out the words that were lying on her tongue all this time.

"I suppose not about _everything_ you said that day..."

Stacey didn't reply to this and turned her head back into the direction where Mister Parker had been standing by now. She just nodded slowly and Santana knew she understood. Before she focused on her English teacher as well, the latina was sure she could see a little smile on the blonde girl's lips.

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School was over and Santana was heading home, somehow relieved she didn't run into Brittany all morning. Shutting out the world with the help of her iPod again, her heart skipped a beat when someone suddenly tapped her shoulder.

"Jesus fucking christ!" she breathed out, turning around and looking at a by now quite familiar face.

"You scared me, girl" Santana told Stacey who had to grin a bit.

"I called your name several times but you didn't hear me - what were you listening to?" she asked, reaching for the latinas earphones.

"None of your damn business" Santana hissed back, quickly shoving the ipod into her bag, not wanting the other girl to see the 'heartbreak playlist' on her mp3 player.

"Anyhow" Stacey went on friendly. "I was wondering what you're doing now, if you'd like to hang out a bit"

Santana's eyebrows were rising in surprise, not quite sure what to answer.

"Um... and what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, just hang out, grab some food and stuff, talk..."

Santana thought about the girl's offer for a moment.

"Well..." the brunette started slowly, "I guess I am indeed a bit hungry... We could go to Breadstix maybe?"

The latina wasn't sure why she had suggested that place. She wondered if she did because she knew that Brittany liked to go there sometimes and she was hoping her friend might see her there with Stacey.

"Breadstix? Cute..." the blonde laughed. "No, actually I have something better in mind. We'll eat somewhere else and get food and drinks on the way. I'll drive."

Before Santana had a chance to answer, the slightly taller girl had grabbed her arm and dragged her into the direction of the school's parking lot. The brunette followed Stacey's fast steps until they stopped in front of an old and orange VW Beatle.

"In THAT car?" Santana asked unbelievingly, her face a mix of surprise and obvious discomfort. "Does this even have airbags?"

Stacey just chuckled and opened the front passenger's door.

"Shut up and get in!"

Sighing and shaking her head, the latina sat down in the very small car, already freaking out about how close the windshield was to her face.

The inside of the Beatle smelled strongly like vanilla and was decorated with sunflowers. Stacey went into reverse with a loud cracking sound, left the parking lot and turned on the radio.

"Oh this is going to be just great..." Santana mumbled ironically when Stacey started singing loudly to a Lily Allen song.

_"Fuck you, fuck you very very muuuuuuuuuch _

_Cos we hate what you do _

_And we hate your whole crew _

_So please don't stay in tooooouuuuuch!"_

Her car window was open and she had removed her hat, shaking her surprisingly long blonde hair in the cool air, obviosuly enjoying herself.

They were driving like this for a longer time, listening to Stacey's CD which was definitely not what Santana would have listened to in her free time - still she had to admit that it was a nice change to get out of town for a little while. She did, in fact, feel distracted and slightly entertained by the figure next to her who didn't seem to care whether her singing was completely out of tune.

They had stopped at a little snack bar to grab some hot dogs and a sixpack beer and continued their little journey until Stacey parked her car in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere.

"Okay. Where the _hell_ are we, Stacey?" Santana asked, not believing what she was actually doing here.

"Just follow me" the blonde ordered and headed straight towards a chain-link fence that seemed to gate the way to a little forest.

Walking along the fence, Stacey seemed to have found what she was looking for and triumphantly pointed at a rather small hole in the wire.

"You're not serious." Santana stated stunned, instantly regretting she had agreed to this idea of 'hanging out'.

"Get your foot out of your ass, Lopez" Stacey replied grinning and carefully climbed through the small hole, reaching out her hand in order for the smaller girl to take it.

"Oh what the heck..." Santana sighed, took the blonde's hand and followed her to the other side.

Still holding her hand, Stacey started moving faster, almost running a bit. "We're almost there, then you can relax again" she said, twinkling.

After a few minutes of walking and what felt like a hundred trees later, they were finally at Stacey's point of interest - and Santana certainly hadn't expected something like this to come. They were standing in front of a big white tower that had graffiti sprayings all over it - the top of the building looking like a big white soccer ball.

"What _is _this?" Santana asked in slow disbelief.

"It's an old weather station" Stacey explained happily. "They had to close it a couple of years ago and it hasn't been used for anything since then. A few people come here from time to time to enjoy the view, sometimes a few punks are camping around here..."

"Sounds very _promising_" Santana replied slowly, still not convinced this was a good idea.

"And what _view_ are they enjoying exactly? All I see is an ugly old tower..."

Stacey just shook her head, laughing, and dragged the brunette inside the tower.

"You're not making me climb up these stairs now, are you? Cause seriously, I'm not doing it."

"Well, I will go up there - you can either come with me or move back to the car... if you find it" the blonde remarked, grinning. "Just be careful, I think there are some boars out there."

The brunette's eyes widened even more and Stacey had burst out laughing by now.

"Come on, now we made it that far.." she said, smiling.

Santana just sighed. "You owe me one", and followed the blonde.

After what had felt like five thousand steps they were finally upstairs, the round ceiling indicating that they were right inside the big soccer ball on top of the building.

"Say something" Stacey whispered, barely audible.

"Why are you whispering?" Santana wanted to know, immediately wincing at the most giant echo she had ever heard.

Stacey started laughing again.

"Isn't this just fucking AMAZING?" she yelled, her voice echoing back countless times.

Santana had to admit that this was indeed quite awesome and after the ice had been broken, the two girls started making funny sounds, laughing about belching echos, singing and stamping 'We will rock you'.

Exhausted, their ears already humming from the insane noise they had managed to create with only two people, Stacey pointed at a hole in the surface shell that someone must have broken in there a longer time ago.

The two girls came closer and sat down, a breathtaking view over the whole city in front of them.

"Wow..." Santana breathed out, quite overwhelmed by what she saw.

"Still mad that you had to follow me up here?" Stacey asked, already knowing the answer.

"Okay, okay - you won" Santana replied, laughing.

"It is my favorite place to hang out, I don't know, I enjoy coming here when I need to think or just want to be alone..."

"Yeah, I guess I can understand that" the latina admitted, somehow realizing that there was much more behind the girl's harsh facade.

They just sat there for a while, eating their hotdogs and drinking their beers, slowly watching the sun go down.

"How did you know?" Santana suddenly broke the silence.

"Hm?" Stacey replied, taking another sip from her can.

"How did you know that... about me... that I'm..." - she still didn't manage to pronounce the word.

"Gay?" Stacey asked directly.

"Uh.. yeah.." Santana mumbled, playing with her fingernails.

"Well, it's not like I'm a new student at our school, you know? And it's not like you and the rest of your cheerios were invisible... I often saw you with your friend.. I think her name is Brittany?" Stacey asked carefully.

Santana felt a knot in her throat. She had managed to push the thought of Brittany to the very back of her mind all day and nervously started straightening her shirt.

"Anyhow", Stacey went on, realizing what the mentioning of that name did to the girl. "It wasn't hard to say by the way you looked at her... I know that I would only look at a girl like this if there was more than friendship. And well, I also guess that when you're a gay teenager in highschool, you are more intensely looking for signs that there might be other people who are dealing with the same stuff, you know? Someone you can relate to."

Santana just nodded. She felt somehow connected to the girl beside her, it felt like sharing something she had thought she was carrying around all alone, even though she didn't say anything.

The thought of kissing Stacey suddenly crossed her mind, as if she needed proof that all this was really happening, but Santana decided not to act on that spontaneous impulse.

"Can I ask you something else?" she said instead.

"Sure? What is it?" Stacey asked, expecting another question connected to her being out of the closet.

"Where have you been these past months? People are speculating over the weirdest things, but I don't really believe any of this stuff..."

Stacey's face suddenly went cold like stone and she turned her gaze away. Santana felt like kicking herself, obviously having hit the wrong spot.

The blonde didn't say anything, nervously toying with the sleeves of her long grey pullover.

"We should go home, it's getting dark" she suddenly stated, getting up and grabbing the empty beer cans. "Let's go!"

Santana couldn't believe that this pretty amazing day could have been ruined that easily but didn't dare asking more questions about it.

Back in the car they drove home silently, without any music or talking. Just once Stacey had asked for Santana's adress so the girl wouldn't have to walk home all the way back from school anymore.

"Thanks for... the ride.." Santana had said before closing the door of the small orange car.

"Good night" Stacey had replied, quickly turning around, the engine of the old Beatle roaring loud.

Santana watched the car drive around the corner, not seeing the single tear running down its driver's cheek.

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TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**A/N: I was very glad to read that so many of you seem to love Stacey - I always think it is a big challenge to create OCs that readers find likeable! I must say that the characters sort of have their own mind and I just have to roll with it, so I'm afraid I can't tell you what is going to happen, I'm pretty curious myself where they are taking me :P**

**- Don't forget to review, you will make my day :)**

The following day was a saturday and Santana was laying in her room, staring at the ceiling and listening to Lily Allen while wondering what had gone wrong the day before at the weather station. Usually she would have been pissed as hell if someone just ended their evening like that and dropped her off at home without any further explanation, but this here was different. Something told Santana that Stacey was deeply hurt somewhere inside, and it - once again - reminded her of herself. There had been too many times when she had acted unfairly towards her friends (also Brittany) and treated them badly. It had taken so long for her to figure out where it all came from and she was sure that Stacey was carrying something similar around with her.

For once listening to her gut feeling, Santana grabbed her phone and dialed Stacey's number.

"Hi, this is Stacey, you know how this works", her mailbox greeted her, followed by a familiar beeping sound.

"Hey Stace, it's Santana. Listen... I'm sorry if I said something wrong last night. It was none of my business and I guess I still gotta ... yeah... learn to realize when it's better to keep my mouth shut..." - she laughed a little insecure.

"Anyways... call me maybe? Bye."

Santana hung up nervously. She didn't really know why, but speaking on Stacey's mailbox made her feel a little hyper. She wondered if Stacey would call her back. And when she would call. And what she might be doing right now. And if she might think her message sounded silly. And if so much wondering was unhealthy.

The latina decided to distract herself with polishing her nails, sat down at her desk and carefully started painting each nail with a friendly light orange. Completely concentrating on her little artwork, her heart nearly skipped a beat when her phone started vibrating next to her on the wooden table.

"Damn it!" she muttered, having dropped the little orange bottle on the floor and half of its content over her hand and carpet.

Scared that her phone might stop ringing, she hastily grabbed it and tried to balance it between shoulder and cheek in order to clean up the mess she was creating.

"Hello?" she nearly yelled into the phone, a little out of breath.

"Uh, hi. You called. I... I'm in front of your door actually. I was driving earlier, so I didn't pick up. You wanna come downstairs maybe?"

Alarm bells were ringing in Santana's head, not really being prepared for something like this to come. She hadn't even showered yet and was sure she looked completely unattractive. Then again - it was not like she had a crush on Stacey... right?

"Yeah.. uh.. sure... I'll be right there."

As fast as she could, Santana ripped off her sweatpants and shirt and put on a nice pair of jeans and a tanktop - the weather was finally getting better and it looked like spring was about to arrive once and for all.

Rushing down the stairs, the slightly excited girl had managed to put on some raspberry lipgloss and casually tried to shake her hair around so it would look naturally wavy when she opened the door.

"Hey." she started friendly, smiling at the girl in front of her who was wearing a black sweater and a red hat today that was sitting loosely on her slightly curly blonde hair.

"Hey." Stacey replied a little shy, smiling back at Santana. "You look pretty."

Usually the straight forward latina would have had a thousand self confident answers in mind that she had used a million times when a boy made her such a compliment, this time she just blushed and muttered a little "thanks" before closing the door behind her and stepping outside in the beautifully warm air.

"So, you wanna go for a walk?" Stacey finally asked, a little more confident by now.

Santana just nodded and the two girls slowly started walking through her neighbourhood.

"A few streets away from here is a little playground where I used to spend many afternoons when I was a kid" the latina started, "I'd really love to go there again!"

Somehow the thought of a little trip to her past seemed tempting and Santana felt like sharing some personal places with the blonde next to her.

"Okay, sounds good to me" Stacey replied, "I'll follow where you lead me, ma'am!"

Santana laughed, her gaze traveling along the street before resting on a tiny house. "Oh my god!" she suddenly squeaked, "you know what would make this perfect right now? A self-mixed candy bag!"

Stacey still looked confused for a second before Santana dragged her in the direction of the house which - the closer they got - appeared to be a little candy shop.

The taller blonde watched with fascination how the petite latina started picking her favorite sweets. She seemed to be in favor of the color red, as many red gummibears, strawberries and cherry drops ended up in her little white paper bag. She had to admit that she was surprised the usually tough girl opened up to her that fast and gave her an insight into her girly side.

Happily carrying her candy, Santana shoved some small sugared raspberries into her mouth and offered the girl next to her the opened bag. "Want some?" she mumbled - chewing loudly - and Stacey couldn't help but find her extremely adorable.

"Sure, thanks" she answered gratefully and the two eating girls finally reached the playground. It wasn't very full, just a few younger boys playing basketball and a young couple swinging next to each other, holding hands.

Located behind the typical slides and jungle gyms was a huge hilly lawn that looked pretty inviting. They climbed up one of the bigger hills and laid down on their backs, looking up to the blue sky.

"This is nice" Stacey started, sounding pleased.

"It really is", Santana agreed, closing her eyes to let the warm rays of sunlight caress the skin of her face. "Don't you almost die in that black sweater of yours?"

"Nah, it takes more than that to get me hot" Stacey just replied, pulling her sleeves over her hands.

The two girls were laying like this for hours, talking about whatever came to their minds. They had started with easy topics like school or hobbies and were slowly moving forward to more serious issues.

"Did you ever date a boy?" Santana asked curiously, turning around so she'd be lying on her belly and facing the blonde girl who just rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah, what a waste of time" she answered, starting to grin at the memories.

"Did you also.. uh.. sleep with him?" Santana then wanted to know, careful not to touch dangerous ground.

"Yeah..." Stacey replied slowly. "I don't know, I guess as many gay kids I wanted to be truly sure that my mind wasn't just telling me stuff, you know? I figured I could only know if I'd at least _once_ try it with a guy."

Santana nodded, totally understanding where this was coming from.

"But you know, in the end I just felt stupid. I didn't feel any different than before. I knew all my life that I love girls, sleeping with that boy changed _nothing_ for me, I only felt weird and silly for having forced myself to go through with my plan."

The latina felt a little sad wave running through her. The way Stacey had told that story seemed so plausible, yet Santana had slept with so many meaningless boys without ever getting to that conclusion.

"How was it for you? With girls I mean ... " the blonde asked carefully. "I've seen you with many guys before.. did you ever really... _do it_ with a girl? Or did you just fall in love and that made you realize?"

Santana felt her chest closing up and tears well up in her eyes, still she tried to smile.

"Yeah.." she started, her voice cracking a bit.

Stacey seemed to realize what she had triggered in the girl in front of her and cupped the latina's hand with her own.

"Talking helps sometimes" she said with a quite serious tone in her voice, "I have the feeling you don't do that often".

The brunette knew that Stacey was right and regained some self control.

"Brittany was my _first_... like... my first in everything" she admitted smiling while some silent tears were running down her cheeks.

"She was my first kiss ... the first person I slept with ... the first person I fell in love with" she explained, sobbing a little.

Stacey was obviously surprised, not having expected the two of them being _that_ close.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know" she apologized, squeezing Santana's hand. "What happened?"

Santana had to think for a moment. What _did _even happen?

"I guess I was just too late..." she then concluded. "I never told her how I feel until it was too late. Now she's with someone else. She told me she loves him and I know she really does. It broke my heart."

Quickly brushing away her tears, Santana cleared her throat. "But I'm gonna get over it."

It was the first time the latina had ever talked about her feelings for Brittany with anyone else and it felt surprisingly relieving.

"You will find someone else, you know?" Stacey replied slowly. "It may not feel like this right now, as if this pain will never ever stop anymore, but it will get less every day. Trust me, I know."

Santana nodded.

"You're really beautiful." Stacey went on, and the latina felt her pulse rising. Hearing those words from a woman seemed to mean so much more, it made her feel proud and insecure at the same time, if that's even possible.

"And you're cute. You try to be so hard and untouchable, but you're not."

"Says _you_", Santana replied, the first real laughter escaping her lips again in between the last bits of occasional sobbing. Stacey had to grin.

"Well, all I'm trying to say is.. you'll find someone who will love you back, and it won't be that hard, cause... I think you're pretty amazing."

Santana knew one thing for sure. She would not resist on acting on this certain impulse again. She would have to kiss Stacey now or she was going to explode.

Crawling a little bit forward on the grass, Santana looked deeply into the blonde's eyes, still waiting for a moment to see if she was going to back away. When that didn't happen, the latina reached for the back of Stacey's head and brought her face closer to her own. She closed her eyes when their lips touched and it felt _so_ good - much better than in that stupid hallway.

A little moan escaped Stacey's lips when Santana's tongue slowly entered her mouth, and it excited the brunette that she seemed to have such a pleasant effect on the other girl.

Her heart pounding, Santana leaned in even closer, her hand caressing the blonde's neck while her tongue was exploring Stacey's mouth more passionately.

Finally breaking their kiss, the latina kept resting her forehead on Stacey's, a little out of breath.

"You sure know how to kiss, girl", Stacey whispered, breaking the silence.

"Oh, shut up!" Santana laughed, shaking her head slightly.

They were staying there on the grass until the sun went down, only Santana's head was resting on Stacey's chest now.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brittany was sitting in the most hidden corner of the school canteen, her gaze strictly focused on two girls happily giggling and laughing together over lunch.

It felt as if she was watching herself with Santana, only a few weeks ago. They seemed so comfortable around each other, Brittany expected them to lock pinkies any minute.

She wasn't the type of girl who could act truly jealous, it wasn't in her character to stand up and make a scene, to get angry or attack someone. Jealousy, for her, was rather a feeling of sadness and helplessness.

Some people called her stupid, but the girl was quite smart when it came to emotions. She knew Santana better than anyone and she could say for sure that the latina was enjoying Stacey's presence. Her laugh seemed truly sincere, her body more relaxed than it did in weeks - no doubt that Santana Lopez was having a good time.

Her gaze wandered over to another table where Artie was sitting next to Mercedes. She was gonna try to make this work. She was gonna try to push down her feelings for Santana and make Artie happy. And she was gonna try to let Santana be happy. And maybe Santana would talk to her again some day and would at least come back into her life.

But before that, there was still something else she had to do.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stacey hugged Santana goodbye as they both had to head into different directions for their next class. With a smile on her lips she walked through the hallway, feeling the weird urge to hop and whistle.

Still lost in thoughts over a certain latina, the girl suddenly choked as she felt a sudden jerk at the hoodie of her sweater and someone dragged her into the ladies room.

"Okay, I have a few questions and I need honest answers. Have you ever murdered someone?"

Brittany's face was inches away from Stacey's and she looked at her with a deadly serious glare. The surprised girl stared back at her in disbelief, slowly realizing that the dancer had actually meant her question seriously. She cleared her throat.

"No... I have not murdered anyone" Stacey replied and Brittany's features softened a bit, sighing in relief.

"Okay, that's good" she went on, "but this is not all." Stacey raised one eyebrow.

"You're not homeless, are you? How about health, any catching diseases?"

Stacey just shook her head. "No. The answers are no."

"What about xylophobia? You do know Santana is Hispanic, right?"

"You mean xenophobia."

"That, too!" Brittany replied, still eyeing the other girl closely.

"Listen, Brittany" Stacey began, "I think it's great that you want to look out for Santana, I really do." She tried to give her a friendly and honest smile. "I know that you two care about each other and I can promise you one thing - I have really _no _intention of hurting her."

The young dancer was still looking at her, her eyes moving quickly from left to right as if her mind was working harder than usual, trying to judge whether the other girl could be trusted.

"I have something for you" she then admitted silently, "it is very important that you read it closely and take good care of it. Please."

With that she fumbled for a piece of paper in her pocket and handed it over to Stacey who carefully unfolded it. She stared at the list in her hand that included 137 facts about Santana Lopez, each one lovingly illustrated with little colorful drawings.

Stacey swallowed hard.

"I will." she simply said, not being able to form more coherent sentences.

"Thank you." Brittany replied, heading for the exit. Just when she was about to walk out of the door, the blonde girl turned around again, looking over her shoulder.

"Stacey?"

"Hm?"

"Please don't tell San anything about this, okay?" Brittany asked hopefully.

Stacey just shook her head slowly and watched the other girl leave the ladies room.

Locking herself into a toilet booth, she began reading Brittany's list closely and felt a pain in her chest grow stronger. She could feel how much the other girl loved Santana and how much effort she had put into this little piece of paper - there was no way that Brittany rather wanted to be with this guy Artie. If Santana knew about this list, she wouldn't just give up fighting for her.

In front of her inner eye, Stacey could already see Santana turn away from her, running back into Brittany's arms, and it was scary how uncomfortable this thought made her.

Still - there was no way that Stacey could hide this from Santana, it wouldn't be right, she had to tell her about this.

Or didn't she?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm not gonna say too much about this chapter, just that it wasn't too easy to write!**

**Still glad to hear your opinions of course, reviewing will bring you good karma ;)**

**Chapter 6**

Stacey had a very busy day - first she had been running with her cart through the supermarket, buying all the groceries she needed, later she had done her best to clean the whole house and make it look acceptable. Santana was about to be there in roundabout two hours and she still had to prepare the food and quickly drive to the videostore to rent a movie.

It all wasn't supposed to look too much like a date (they were trying to keep things casual), the fact that Stacey was basically living alone in her parents' house was simply an advantage when it came to inviting friends over to her place.

After all, the girl had decided to have an honest talk with Santana about what had happened in the ladies room a couple of days ago. She just thought that the latina should get the chance to decide herself what she was going to do about the whole thing - and no one said they couldn't at least become good friends _if _she decided to keep fighting for Brittany.

In order to create a very comfortable place to eat and watch movies, the blonde rearranged some of the living room's furniture so they'd have lots of room on the carpet in between blankets and pillows. In the middle of her little chillout-area, she built a small table out of books and trays where they could put their food, drinks and popcorn - maybe also a few candles.

Satisfied with her work, Stacey looked at her watch again - not too much time left anymore. She tried to push down the slightly excited feeling that was coming up, squeezing the little piece of paper in her jeans pocket to remind herself what this evening was all about.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Checking the small note with Stacey's adress one more time, Santana kept looking at the house in front of her. She hadn't expected her new friend to live in such a big and fancy home and was almost sure she must have gotten the number wrong.

Nervously she stepped closer to the entrance, reading the name tag next to the doorbell. Unless there were more Claridges in the neighbourhood, this definitely had to be the house she had been invited to. Trying to check out her reflection in the window one last time, Santana took a deep breath and finally pushed the button.

Not many seconds later, the door opened and a friendly face greeted her. Santana couldn't help but notice that Stacey looked quite stunning. Her hair was pinned up in a ponytail, her jeans and longsleeve looked tighter than usual and the three different colorful earrings she was wearing in each earlobe looked beautiful next to the natural makeup on the blonde's face.

"I'm glad you found it, come in", she said happily, turning around to show Santana the way.

Looking at the girl from behind, Santana noticed the little tattoo on Stacey's neck for the first time. It seemed to be a writing, but she couldn't quite make out what it meant - the latina decided to ask her about that later.

The hallway already smelling like food, Santana followed the blonde and curiously looked around, trying to get a first impression of Stacey's personal life and family. The decoration was clean and modern and there weren't any pictures, still the person responsible for the furniture seemed to have good taste.

When they reached the living room, the latina couldn't help but let out a small "wow", seeing how much effort the other girl seemed to have put into preparing their evening. The room was illuminated by a few candles and small light bulbs and the floor looked so inviting that Santana felt like jumping right into this mountain of comfortable pillows.

On the small table the latina found two plates with lasagna and green salad, as well as a bottle of iced tea - it looked delicious.

"Dessert is still waiting in the fridge" Stacey mentioned casually, "make yourself at home".

Knowing that Stacey's parents were out of town for a while, Santana didn't feel too awkward in the foreign room. She put her bag (with shampoo and toothbrush in it, just in case) on the nearest chair and sat down next to the steaming food.

"I didn't know this was what a 'casual movie night' looks like for you", the latina started, laughing a little.

"Well, I'm just trying to make a good first impression" the blonde replied grinning, "it doesn't always look that clean in here."

With a twinkle she took Santana's glass and poured some tea in it.

The DVD menu of 'Shallow Hal' was already running on the big tv screen when Stacey grabbed the remote control.

"I really didn't know what to pick, so I went with something casual. Hope that's fine with you?"

"Totally" Santana replied smiling, somehow relieved the other girl wouldn't torture her with too much action or thinking.

Stacey pushed 'play' and the two girls started eating.

Giggling about the movie (and realizing how the thin version of Rosemary looked a little like Miss Holiday), Stacey felt truly relieved that Santana seemed to have such a good time. Looking at the smaller girl, slightly wrapped in one of her blankets and snorting in between some laughs, the blonde decided that this probably wasn't the right time to come up with a serious topic. They had all night, stuff like this could wait.

"My gosh, I am _so _full, I'm gonna burst" Santana stated, laying on her back and holding her belly. "I feel pregnant... with an alien baby... it wants to come out of me", the brunette exaggerated, causing Stacey to grin.

"Ohhh wait until you see today's specialty" she teased, "you will change your mind then."

With that she got up and ran over to the fridge, coming back with a huge bowl of raspberry tiramisu and a small bottle of raspberry syrup.

"Oh my god, are you trying to kill me or something?" Santana asked, faking a suffering voice. "I just _love _this, how did you know?"

Stacey supposed that this was the perfect moment to come up with Brittany's list, still she didn't want to ruin the latina's appetite. She would wait until after dessert.

"I guess I'm psychic." Stacey lied, smiling at Santana and serving her an extra big dish.

The movie had been over by now and the grils decided to turn off the tv and listen to some music instead.

Feeling too full to look at the leftovers for one second longer, they had pushed away the small table that had been standing between them and just laid down to relax.

"When are your parents coming back?" Santana asked the girl next to her, the melody of an old song by The Verve filling the room.

"Dunno. In a few weeks I suppose."

"Where are they?" the latina kept asking, curious why Stacey's parents would leave their daughter alone for such a long time.

"They're working..." came the blonde's short reply, signalizing Santana that this was all she was planning to tell about the situation.

"You miss them?"

Santana looked at Stacey, waiting for some kind of emotion to show up on her face. The blonde seemed to think for a moment until her features softened.

"I definitely don't miss them _right now_" she admitted a little shy, her index finger brushing slightly over the latina's hand.

Santana felt a shiver run through her body. If this was the blonde's attempt to make her shut up and change the topic, it was definitely working.

She didn't know how to react, this insecurity being completely new to her. Her heart immedieately started beating faster and for a while she was just looking at the girl in front of her, all her senses focused entirely on this soft little touch.

Even though they had already kissed twice by now, the circumstances had been entirely different. This time they weren't in public, they were all alone in Stacey's house in a nearly dark room where no one would disturb them. Santana was scared the other girl might hear her heart pounding.

Stacey's fingertip slowly went up the length of the latina's arm and ran soft little circles on it, causing her to hold her breath. Santana started wondering with how many girls the blonde had done this before, cooking, setting up candles... Maybe it was better if she didn't know, she already felt insecure enough.

"I love having you here" Stacey whispered, looking at Santana with an almost vulnerable expression.

Before the girl had a chance to answer, soft lips were brushing against hers and Santana closed her eyes, leaning into the kiss. It started very gentle, both of them slowly exploring the other girl's lips and somehow scared to ruin this perfect moment.

Completely excited, Santana felt as if her blood was boiling.

_C'mon, you're not a virgin_ was what she kept trying to tell herself, hoping to regain some confidence.

Only when she felt Stacey's tongue seeking entrance to her mouth, she managed to push her nervousness down a bit and to focus only on how good it felt to be close to the other girl.

Stacey began sucking slightly on Santana's lower lip, causing the brunette next to her to let out a little whimper. Encouraged by this small sound, her hand wandered up the smaller girl's back, caressing her shoulders and neck, letting their kisses grow more passionate.

Santana loved how good Stacey tasted, how nice it felt when her piercing teased her tongue, how confident the blonde's hands wandered up and down her body.

Breaking their kiss, Stacey looked at the latina, by now laying slightly on top of her. She smiled at her genuinely before letting her mouth move a little lower, gently kissing along Santana's jaw and neck.

By the time Stacey's tongue had reached the brunette's earlobe, Santana was past the point of thinking straight. She let out a little moan and grabbed the blonde's hand, slowly directing it to her breast.

Stacey looked up for a second, seeming a little surprised but pleased by the other girl's action.

"You're so hot" she breathed into her ear, need in her voice, slightly squeezing the other girl's breast through her shirt.

"I really wanna sleep with you" Santana replied spontaneously, shocked by her own honesty.

A moment passed where both girls just stared at each other, wondering for a second if this was really going to happen now, until the last bit of self control left them and Stacey fully pressed herself on the girl underneath her, kissing every bodypart she could reach.

Her hands were quickly moving underneath Santana's shirt, her thumbs caressing the girl's nipples above her bra.

The latina maneuvered herself into a sitting position, hastily removing her own shirt in order not to break their kisses for too long. Stacey's hands were tangled in Santana's hair, pushing the brunette's head gently to her own neck where the smaller girl started licking and nibbling along the blonde's collarbone.

Annoyed by Stacey's clothes, Santana reached for the hem of her longsleeve and tried to remove the irritating piece of fabric while the blonde did her best to blow out the candles around them. Awkwardly reaching for the switch of the small light bulb, Santana caught her hand in the process, kissing it.

"Leave it on" she just whispered, finally removing Stacey's shirt.

The blonde slowly nodded, being pushed back on the pillows behind her, Santana now laying on top of her with her breasts brushing against her own.

The latina couldn't help but notice how gorgeous the other girl looked and let her hands wander up her hips and belly, up to her bra. She wanted to enjoy every second of this, kissing and licking Stacey's chest who started moaning silently, closing her eyes.

Their fingers entwined, Santana pinned the other girl's arms abover her head to have better access and kiss her entire body ... when suddenly her heart skipped a beat.

Gazing up and down the blonde's flawless body, her eyes had stopped on Stacey's wrists.

Santana swallowed hard, feeling paralyzed.

There were two huge scars underneath each of the blonde's hands, leaving no doubt about what had caused them.

Stacey opened her eyes again, immediately realizing what had happened. Within seconds she was back in a sitting position, hastily reaching for her shirt and putting it back on, protectively dragging the sleeves over her hands.

Santana still hadn't moved, completely overwhelmed by the whole situation.

"I'm so fucking stupid" the blonde started mumbling to herself, nervously getting up.

"I don't know what I was thinking. _Fuck._" she added a bit louder, walking around in the room, turning on all the lights as if she was trying to tell Santana that the evening was over now and she was allowed to leave and never call her again.

The latina was still sitting on the pillows, wearing only her jeans and her bra, looking like a confused little girl.

"Here", Stacey just said, handing Santana her shirt with a hurt look on her face. "I'm sorry okay? I'm really sorry. You should go." Silent tears were falling down the blonde's face.

As if her brain was slowly starting to function again, Santana just shook her head - then she got up and closely hugged the girl in front of her.

Stacey had wanted to push the latina away, wanted to tell her she should leave her alone, that she was a fuck up and not good for her, but she couldn't. Instead she started sobbing bitterly, slowly sinking back down on the floor, her knees being too weak.

Santana didn't let go of her friend, kept hugging her and kissing her forehead.

"Shhh..." she just hummed, rocking the girl back and forth. "It's gonna be alright. I'm not leaving, okay? I'm right here."

Stacey kept sobbing into Santana's neck.

"Shhh... I'm here for you."

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It was the first time anyone had ever seen Stacey's scars, a secret that she had learned to keep very well during the past months.

Santana didn't ask any questions, she knew that the blonde would open up to her when she was ready. All she did was to hold the her tightly in her arms for what felt like eternity, rubbing her back until she finally stopped crying.

Before Stacey fell asleep in Santana's arms, she touched the little piece of paper in her pocket again, knowing she could never give it to the girl next to her. Not in a million years.

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TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Soo, finally a new Glee episode *yay*! I loooved Santana teaming up with Kurt and Blaine... how angry she got at Karofsky's gay remarks... it reminded me quite a bit of her reaction in chapter 3 of this story :P**

**I wanted to say THANKS to all my anonymous reviewers, it's a shame I can't answer to your comments! Still love to read your opinions, I really appreciate it :)**

**And I'm sorry to make it so rough for the hardcore Brittana shippers ... but well, who knows where this is going.. will it be Stacey, will it be Brittany... I have no idea :P**

**Enjoy reading and make me happy with your reviews ;)**

**xxxxx**

**Chapter 7**

It wasn't even 6AM when Santana woke up, her arm still wrapped around the girl next to her. The room wasn't bright yet, still she could already hear a few early birds chirping.

Trying to move into a more comfortable position, she could feel Stacey look at her.

"You awake?" she asked her, a little insecure.

"Hm yeah" Santana replied, "somehow I don't feel tired anymore."

The room was silent for a few seconds.

"I'm really sorry about all this" the blonde tried to apologize. "I don't know, I didn't want you to find out like this.."

"I know" Santana said calm but friendly, looking at the ceiling. "You don't have to be... _embarassed_ or something"

"I'm not" Stacey replied, carefully touching the latina's hand. "You were actually very sweet to me..."

Santana had to smile a little.

"My dad left us when I was five." Stacey suddenly started. Santana hadn't expected her to actually begin talking about her issues, even though she was happy the girl seemed to consider her so trustworthy.

Santana turned around so she was laying on her side and facing her, the slowly rising sun giving her just enough light to make out the blonde's features.

"I've been living in this house with my mom ever since... we used to get along quite well."

Santana just nodded and held the girl's hand, not wanting to interrupt her.

"I had my coming out when I was 14... quite early I guess..."

"How did she react?" Santana wanted to know, imagining herself having _that talk_ with her parents.

"I'd say she reacted... well... _alright _at first... I think she just thought it was a phase... but I knew it wasn't."

Santana had always wondered herself whether this was just a phase, and it had taken her a long time to acknowledge that it wasn't.

"So I started meeting people who dealt with the same stuff... You know, I was never really good at lying or hiding the truth, I felt so much like _talking_ about all this, so I made other gay friends and started going to queer parties and such stuff, it was fun."

The latina almost felt a little jealous that the other girl had been so confident with herself at such an early age, she knew she could never have done it that way.

"This went on for quite a while, I made my first experiences with girls... until I met this one special person."

"What was her name?" Santana wanted to know, sensing that her friend's story was about to get more serious.

"Her name's Sarah... She was pretty much an outsider at this party, not really connecting with anyone, but I thought she was totally beautiful. We started talking and I knew pretty soon that she didn't really feel comfortable there. Her parents didn't know anything about all this, they were quite religious and stuff, not exactly thrilled when it came to the whole gay topic."

Stacey let out a little ironic laugh.

"Still it seemed as if she liked me too, so we kept seeing each other ... we kept seeing each other for month and I completely fell for her."

The image of Brittany came to Santana's mind and she tried to push it away as fast as possible.

"We had to keep our relationship a secret and I actually agreed to all this. You know, I was really _never _the type who cared about what other people thought, but I still played along, she just meant too much to me."

She swallowed hard, still holding Santana's hands who was still listening but seemed a little sad.

"Sarah got so paranoid, at some point she even arranged fake dates with guys, just so her parents wouldn't start getting suspicious about me being at their place so often. Can you imagine that? I agreed that my girlfriend could go out with_ boys_, just so she'd stay with me."

Her face seemed lost in memories, a bitter smile on her lips.

"Of course she promised me nothing would ever happen on these dates, but it was pretty messed up..."

"Yeah, I can imagine..." Santana replied slowly. Images of herself dating guys flashed in front of her eyes, moments when she told Brittany that she was just a nice way to spend time when her current boyfriend wasn't around. The thought hurt and embarassed her.

"She even asked me not to tell my mom about her and me, just because she was terrified our mothers could talk one day and she'd drop the bomb and her parents would freak out.. so I started lying to basically everyone, just to protect her."

Stacey's voice seemed close to crying, but she did her best to hold it together.

"I felt like I was losing myself in this whole relationship, it just wasn't _ me_ anymore.."

"It really doesn't sound like you", Santana agreed, stroking the blonde's hand with her thumb.

"But I felt so... yeah... _addicted_ to her almost...but I kept my mouth shut all these months."

"Then what happened?" the latina asked, feeling that this wasn't the whole story.

"We got caught. Of course it had to come to this, I mean, how long can you keep something like that hidden?" she shook her head, still in disbelief about how absurd it all sounded when she spoke it out loud.

"Her parents caught us one day at her place when they came home earlier than expected, a typical situation... it was a disaster. Of course they kicked me out, throwing tons of insults at me.."

"What did you do?" the smaller girl wanted to know, feeling sorry for Stacey.

"I hoped we'd find a way of course... I hoped we could all... I don't know, just sit together and talk about it, you know? I thought they'd accept it sooner or later, and if not, then our love would be strong enough to survive it and we'd just... run away together."

She paused for a moment.

"I really was stupid."

Santana shook her head, wanting to support the girl. "You weren't stupid, just in love."

"Sometimes I think that's the same" Stacey replied, laughing a little.

"Anyhow..." she went on, "they sent her away. To boarding school. I couldn't believe it."

"Wow, that's kinda rough" Santana had to agree. "Did you try long distance then?"

"Haha, long distance..." the blonde echoed ironically. "No... I went over to her place again, wanted to make a plan with her... but she just yelled at me. Called me a fucking bitch, told me I destroyed her life, it was insane."

A tear was rolling down her cheek now that she quickly brushed away while Santana kept stroking her hand, encouraging her to finish her story.

"I felt completely crushed. I had built my life around her, you know?"

Santana knew exactly what she meant.

"The moment she yelled at me, with so much hate in her eyes and in her voice, I didn't even recognize her anymore. It wasn't the same person, not as if she'd ever loved me... it was the worst pain I ever felt." Her own voice sounded a little angry by now, the memories obviously bringing back many bottled up emotions.

"So I ran to my mom, looking for someone to comfort me..."

"I guess it didn't turn out well?" Santana asked carefully, already expecting the answer.

"No. She tried to pretend she felt sorry for me until she was all like 'what do you expect me to do now? All I can do is hope that you learned from this experience and become _normal_ again.' That did it for me, that was it. I was so angry and hurt and had my mom call me abnormal in my weakest moment. I couldn't handle it, not at all."

The thought that someone's own parent would reject their daughter like this scared Santana and made her angry at the same time. As sorry as she felt for the blonde next to her, she certainly wished something like this would never happen to herself.

"So..." Stacey went out, clearing her throat, "I'm not proud of what I did after that... I know it was wrong and the most stupid thing I ever could have done... but ... yeah... in that moment I just saw no other way."

She turned around so she was lying on her belly now and Santana started playing with her blonde hair.

"My mom never forgave me... She says shes working, but I know she's living at my aunt's most of the time. She couldn't stand looking at me anymore after what I did. I suppose she made herself responsible for all this... but all she does is give me money and leave me alone for weeks... I don't blame her though."

Santana felt the need to call Stacey's mother and yell at her for being such an uncaring fuck up, though that probably wouldn't do the blonde any good.

"Thanks for telling me all this" she whispered instead, kissing the blonde's head.

Brushing some hair out of her neck, she could finally read the words that were tattooed on Stacey's skin in bold, artful writing. They said '_Don't let go...'_

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Brittany was standing on the schoolyard next to Artie, absent-mindedly shoving peanutbutter M&Ms into her mouth. She hadn't really been listening to anything her boyfriend had been rambling about the past twenty minutes, not really in the mood to make conversation.

Letting her gaze travel over the many students moving in and out of the school building, she suddenly dropped her bag, the colorful chocolate rolling all over the floor.

The boy in his wheelchair looked up confused.

"Brit? Are you alright?"

The blonde didn't answer, she just kept staring in one direction, apparently not even noticing that anyone was speaking to her.

"Hey, Brittany, what's wrong?"

Artie finally followed his girlfriend's gaze and what he saw brought clearance. It was Santana, Brittany's former best friend, _holding hands_ with another girl, walking across the yard. They weren't even making an eye-catching appearance, they just seemed very much like... a couple.

"Who's that girl next to Santana?" the boy wanted to know, obviously not recognizing her right away. "Are they... _dating_?" he added, raising one eyebrow.

Still not answering, Brittany simply walked away, mesmerized, leaving her boyfriend behind without any further explanation.

Following the two girls, the blonde tried to remain unrecognized, always staying a few steps behind them until their ways parted in front of one of the classrooms. Before Stacey walked into the room, she gave the latina next to her a kiss on her lips, smiling.

Brittany felt as if someone had slapped her. Or kicked her. Or stabbed her. Or all at the same time. She was so shocked, she didn't even notice the tears running down her cheeks.

Suddenly the blonde felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around, shocked. It was Will Schuester, a very concerned look on his face.

"Brittany, are you alright?" he asked, worried.

The blonde girl just stared at him, suddenly shaking her head wildly, running out of the hallway. She didn't hear what her teacher called after her, she only knew she needed to get away from this place as fast as possible.

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When school was finally over, Santana was glad she made it through another boring day . Stacey had to stay for another hour to repeat one of her Latin courses, so the brunette decided to head home already and finally change into some fresh clothes.

Her mind still busy processing the past night, Brittany's face suddenly showing up in front of her completely caught her by surprise.

"Hey" the blonde started, sounding very shy.

Santana just stared back at her, not knowing what to do or say.

"Hey" she finally replied, trying to break eye contact and to focus on whatever else was happening around them.

"So... you're with Stacey now?" Brittany asked carefully, doing her best to sound friendly.

Santana wasn't aware that the blonde had seen them together, even though she had secretly hoped so.

"Seems so..." she answered, still not looking at the girl in front of her.

"Are you in love with _her _now?" Brittany wanted to know, not meaning to put so much stress on the word 'her'.

The latina couldn't believe the other girl was actually asking her something like that, so completely straight-forward. On the other hand... this was Brittany Pierce, she always spoke out what she thought.

Santana's brain was working fast - what was the right thing to answer? Especially... what _was _the answer? The blonde had managed to ask things that Santana hadn't even asked herself yet. Was she in love with Stacey? Could falling in love even happen that fast? No matter what the answer was, she at least was sure about what she wanted Brittany to believe.

"Yes... yes I'm in love with her" Santana finally said, doing her best to sound completely convinced.

Brittany did her best not to show any emotions, quietly staring back at her former best friend.

"Okay" she then whispered, barely audible. She tried to smile at Santana, though it looked more like an awkward grimace.

"I'm really happy for you" she added then. "I hope she loves you back. She seems really nice."

Santana couldn't believe her ears. Brittany couldn't be serious. Even though she hadn't planned to actually _hurt_ the blonde, she had at least hoped Brittany would react more affected by all this. She never would have admitted it out loud, but secretly she had hoped Brittany would be crushed by the news of her dating Stacey. That she would cry, get angry, _something._ Instead she stood in front of her, wishing her the best?

"Well... thanks..." she replied confused. "Anything else?"

Brittany just shook her head, so Santana walked past her, focusing straight on the street in front of her.

"San?" the blonde then called after her.

The latina stopped for a moment, looking over her shoulder.

"Do you think that... um... we can be friends again?"

The girl was killing her.

"We'll see..." was all she managed to get out, continuing her walk off the school area, not looking back.

She would not let Brittany mess up her head again with something like that. She was finally moving on, focusing on something new, she would be _confident_ now.

Determined, the latina grabbed her cell phone and started typing.

"So, are you ever gonna take me to one of these gay parties?"

Only seconds later her phone vibrated, showing her one new message.

"I thought you'd never ask ;-) "

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TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Happy (belated) Easter everyone :)**

**The story finally continues! Just as a side remark: Two people let me know that they didn't get an alert when chapter 7 was published, so - just in case you didn't get one either, make sure to read the previous chapter before this one, so it all makes more sense ;)**

**Hope you all had nice holidays and enjoy reading! reviews are 3 !**

**xxxxx**

**Chapter 8**

The conversation with Santana had woken up new courage inside of Brittany. She knew the latina well and if she said 'we'll see', it usually meant something positive. Yes, the blonde was sure that if Santana really didn't want to go back to being friends, she would have said something along the lines of "you know what? forget it and leave me alone!" - 'we'll see' was definitely something she could work with.

Entirely motivated, the blonde dancer came to school the next day, instantly scanning the area for a certain brunette. She hadn't waited for Artie in front of his house like she usually did, she just wanted to make sure not to miss the other girl.

Finally spotting her in the corner of the hallway, her gaze traveled over to Stacey who was standing right next to her friend, whispering things into her ear that seemed to be quite funny - judging by the latina's giggle. In the middle of their apparently quite amusing conversation, the two girls never stopped _touching_, whether it was toying with each other's fingers or petting each other's shoulders.

For a second, Brittany wasn't entirely convinced anymore that talking to Santana was such a good idea - still she took a deep breath and walked over to the two girls, figuring that it should be no problem for _friends _to hang around each other's partners.

"Hey guys!" the blonde said cheerfully, positioning herself right in front of the two girls.

Santana looked at Brittany in shock, instantly letting go of the other blonde's hands who awkwardly stepped a bit aside.

"What are you doing here Brit?" came the latina's reply, nervously avoiding the young dancer's eyes.

"Well, I go to school here, silly" Brittany answered, doing her best to stay confident and smile.

"Yeah, I dont mean _that, _I mean... what are you doing _here..._?"

Santana was aware that she probably sounded unfriendly, but having Brittany standing there, right next to Stacey, made her incredibly uncomfortable.

Brittany realized she hadn't really thought much about what she wanted to tell the latina, her mind working fast to find a topic for a friendly conversation.

"I wanted to ask if you wanna have lunch together today! You can also bring your girlfriend if you like!" Brittany suggested, talking about Stacey as if she wasn't standing right there.

The word 'girlfriend' sounded slightly disturbing to Santana's ears, especially since they hadn't really talked about any labels yet - and _especially _coming out of Brittany's mouth. She just stared back at her, saying nothing.

"It's what friends do, right? Cause we are friends again, aren't we? You said we could try." Brittany added, sounding a little desperate by now.

Stacey just observed the incredibly awkward conversation, softly pinching Santana's arm who still hadn't said anything.

"We'd love to come" the blonde then jumped in for Santana, laying one arm around her a little too protectively. "We'll meet you at the canteen then."

"Yaaay.." Brittany replied, sounding far too chipper to be taken seriously. "See you guys there."

With that she walked away to her next class, leaving Stacey with her arm wrapped around the smaller girl next to her who looked as if she just got slapped in her face.

"Why did you agree to this?" Santana finally asked, freeing herself from Stacey's embrace and heading to their lockers.

"I don't know.. I guess it wasn't easy for her to come over... I'm sure she just misses your friendship... don't you think it will make you feel better to at least have her back as a casual friend?"

Stacey wasn't sure she believed her own words, still she felt guilty for never having told Santana about the list, the least she could do was try to act supportive when it came to their friendship.

"Yeah, whatever..." Santana slowly replied, getting her maths book out of her locker and closing it again.

Stacey knew the latina well enough by now to realize that this conversation was over, so they quietly walked to their first lesson.

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Santana couldn't believe what she was doing, sitting in the middle of two blondes, one excitedly talking about random topics with her mouth full, the other one occasionally stroking her thigh underneath the table.

"Did you hear that there's a real _disease_ called anata...to..tata...phobia.. something..." the blonde rambled confused, "where the patient is afraid of _ducks_, can you imagine that? They're afraid a duck is watching them all the time, I mean, that's so stupid, right? Stalker ducks? They would never do that, ducks are more friendly than that. _Pidgeons_ maybe, I could understand that, they're really _everywhere..._"

Santana was picking in her food, feeling not hungry at all. Stacey kept stroking her thigh, sometimes trying to reply to Brittany's speech with an 'oh really?' or 'wow, I didn't know' to make the conversation a little less one-sided.

"Speaking of ducks!" the dancer then basically yelled, even more excited. "Artie and I wanted to go to the zoo at the weekend, you guys should _totally _come with us. It will be super fun! A real double date!"

Santana started choking and coughing, the one piece of food that she had managed to shove into her mouth all afternoon now stuck in her throat. Stacey tapped her back, worried.

Finally calming down, the latina cleared her throat.

"Brit - _seriously_? This is so _not_ working!"

Both blondes stared at Santana, one in shock, one a little concerned.

"I can definitely imagine a _better _way to spend my time than having to look at you wheeling your boyfriend from one animal cage to the next. I don't think this whole going back to friendship thing is a good idea. Why don't you go back over to Mr. thick-glasses, I'm sure he's already missing you. Plus - Stacey and I would like some privacy now."

Santana hadn't meant to be _that _harsh, but she felt like Brittany left her no other choice. Her attempt of going back to normal was just ridiculous - did she really expect she could just smash her heart into a thousand pieces and then rub into her face how comfortable she was with her dating another girl that she even suggested _double dates_? The more she thought about it, the more hurt and angry she felt.

Brittany's face had gone from an excited pink to a shocked pale tone within seconds. Swallowing hard she just looked down on her plate.

"Don't get so angry with me..." she whispered, slowly getting up.

Stacey looked at her, an almost apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry..." she then added, taking her tray and leaving the two girls alone, not looking back.

"Sooo..." Santana tried to fake a normal mood again, facing Stacey. "How about that party? We will do that at the weekend, right? Much more fun than a lame zoo."

The blonde looked her straight in the eyes.

"Are you okay, San? I understand it's a bit much that -"

"I'm prefectly _fine_" the latina interrupted her, shutting Stacey up with a kiss. "When does it start? You pick me up?"

"Sure... I'll pick you up around 9 then..." she replied, still a little hesitantly.

"Great!" Santana just said.

Still, none of the girls felt like finishing their lunch anymore.

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At home, Brittany sat in front of her laptop, browsing on her new favorite website ''. Usually it was Santana who had helped her with advice when she was unsure how to handle certain situations, but since their friendship was more or less over, the blonde had searched for help and instructions on the internet.

Finally having found what she was looking for, she carefully read through the guide that seemed most fitting - 'Forgetting someone in 8 steps: Mending a Broken Heart'.

The situation at school had clearly shown her that Santana wanted her out of her life - and it hurt so badly.

Tears streaming down her face, she tried to read the first step on the list.

'Cry out everything you have to cry about'

Brittany sniffled in surprise. Maybe she was smarter than she gave herself credit for. Maybe she didn't need such instructions after all.

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Santana felt a little nervous before entering the club. It was a small location in town, within walking distance from Stacey's house.

The blonde could sense her friend's insecurity, absent-mindedly staring at two guys sitting on a bench, cuddling and drinking beer.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Stacey asked carefully. "We can also go back and just watch a movie if you like."

The latina shook her head vehemently. "Of course I want" she assured the blonde, taking her hand. "Let's go inside"

Stacey just smiled and lead the smaller girl through the entrance door.

"Hey Stace, looking good tonight" the tall black doorman said with a friendly voice, twinkling.

"Hey Rob" the blonde replied "you don't look too bad yourself."

Santana couldn't help but grin at the short conversation, already feeling a little more confident being there with a girl who seemed to be so... _involved_ in the scene.

The club was dark but seemed a bit bigger than it had looked from the outside. She let her gaze travel along the many dancing people and was quite surprised by the feeling it triggered inside of her. The mood seemed to be very good, everyone apparently having a great time hopping around to a David Guetta song.

Following Stacey's lead in the direction of the bar, they passed by quite a few gay couples who were wildly rubbing their bodies against each other to the rhythm of the music, some of them heavily making out. Sometimes it was hard for her to realize right away whether she was looking at girls or guys since some of them pretty much dressed like the opposite sex. There were short-haired girls wearing suits, boys in pink tanktops, girls in short skirts, bearded guys in black coats - and no one really seemed to care.

"What do you wanna drink?" Stacey asked, her upper body already leaning halfway over the dark wooden bar.

"Whatever you take" Santana replied, her gaze still fixed on the scenery in front of her.

"Two vodka energy" the blonde ordered, "no ice please."

"Got it" a tall young girl answered, mixing their drinks. "One's on the house. Glad to see you around again" she added, smiling at Stacey.

"Thanks, Jules" Stacey answered laughing, "you don't have to do that though."

Handing the latina one of the longdrinks, the brunette looked at her, teasingly raising one eyebrow.

"Jules, eh?" she just said, grinning. "She gay, too?"

"Most people here are" Stacey replied, cheekily showing Santana her tongue. "Cheers."

"Cheers" the smaller girl replied, supporting herself on one of the barstools, taking a sip.

"You trying to get me drunk so you can get in my pants?" Santana wanted to know, laughing.

"We both know I wouldn't need alcohol for that" Stacey just replied twinkling, dragging the brunette in for a long passionate kiss.

Santana realized how easy it was to kiss the blonde in here. Even though it was a public place, she didn't feel the slightest bit concerned about it. Inside this club, _everyone_ was out of the closet. Even if they weren't in their daily life, not at school, not at work, not in front of their families or friends - here it didn't matter.

Sighing contently, the latina enjoyed the feel of the loud bumming bass in her body and the taste of Red Bull and vodka on their tongues.

"You wanna dance?" she asked, breaking their kiss and looking at the blonde expectantly.

"Hell, yes!" Stacey just replied, dragging Santana on the dancefloor, right in the middle of the partying crowd.

"You know you look fucking sexy tonight, right?" she asked the brunette who had expertedly started moving to the music, seductively shaking her body in her tight - and quite short - red dress.

"And I'm not the only one who seems to think so..." she added, pointing with her eyes at some girls behind them who were obviously checking the latina out and enjoying what they saw.

Santana felt excited and flattered, not really having thought of the possibilty of other girls looking at her like this.

"Well, I'm here with _you_" she stated, dancing closer to Stacey now, smiling.

"Ohhh yes, you are!" the blonde replied proudly, looking at the girls over the latina's shoulder and nibbling her earlobe, obviously defending her territory.

Santana had to laugh on the inside, enjoying the other girl's slightly jealous move and continuing their dance.

She couldn't help but admit that dancing like this, in such an atmosphere, had a quite stimluating effect on her. The fact that Stacey was a surprisingly good dancer was an extra bonus.

Her mind shortly wandered off to Brittany but Santana tried to push away the thought of her former best friend sexily moving her body to Kelis' 'Milkshake'.

When the DJ decided to play a slow Rihanna song, most couples started dancing closer to each other and resting each other's heads on their shoulders.

Stacey wrapped her arms closer around the petite latina and held her while they moved to the rhythm of the song. Santana felt good, forgetting time and blending out all of the past week's problems. Only when the blonde half sang, half whispered a 'Te amo' into her ear, she felt her body stiffen. She thought it was probably just her humming along the lyrics of the song, still in that moment it felt a little more serious than that.

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Many songs and many drinks later, the girls walked home giggling and stumbling along the pavement.

"Thanks for taking me there" Santana laughed, out of breath. "I had the best time in months."

"Me too." Stacey just added, not letting go of the latina's hand, kissing her from time to time.

Finally reaching the doorstep of the blonde's house, both girls looked at each other for a moment.

"Uh... you still wanna come in? I mean... I can call you a cab if u want that..." Stacey asked carefully, hoping the latina understood her intentions.

"No... I want to... come in, I mean."

Stacey just nodded and nervously fumbled with her keys.

None of them could deny that this evening had meant a lot for them and their growing relationship - and none of them could deny how much their physical attraction had been growing on that dancefloor.

When the blonde had finally managed to open the entrance door, everything happened faster than expected.

Santana pushed Stacey against the wall of the hallway, kissing her forcefully, causing the blonde to moan.

Never breaking their kisses, both of them somehow managed to maneuver each other out of their annoying clothes, not caring that their bodies were hitting against frames and closets in the process.

Reaching Stacey's bedroom, the blonde pushed Santana onto her bed and immediately followed her, laying down on top of her.

Before both of them were at the point of no return, Stacey looked up for a second, trying to catch her breath.

"This won't be a drunk mistake tomorrow morning, right?" she asked, almost vulnerably.

"Just shut up and kiss me" Santana replied, pushing her lips forcefully on the blonde's mouth and letting her hand travel between Stacey's legs.

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The next morning Santana woke up in an empty bed. Feeling a slight headache, she looked around in the empty bedroom, the memories of last night slowly coming back to her. She looked down her naked body as if she needed proof that _this _had really happened, protectively wrapping the white blanket around her.

Before she could start to worry that Stacey had just left her, the door opened and a friendly blonde face showed up at the doorframe.

"You're awake" she said smiling, "I made breakfast!"

A little relieved, but still somehow insecure Santana just nodded, sitting up.

Stacey walked in with a tray of fresh toast, orange juice and strawberries, carefully putting it down on the matress and crawling back into bed next to the latina.

The blonde lovingly kissed Santana's cheek and brushed a strand of dark brown hair behind the girl's ear.

"Last night was amazing" she whispered.

Santana just smiled, not really knowing what to reply. Last night had been great, no doubt about that, still she felt a nervous uneasy feeling in her stomach.

Trying to ignore her insecurity, the latina tried to focus on the sweet gesture and enjoy a nice breakfast - she really needed this if she didn't want to feel hungover for the rest of the day.

"I filtered the juice" Stacey said proudly, handing Santana the glass bottle.

The other girl wanted to take the juice, suddenly freezing in the process.

"Why did you filter it?" she asked, frowning.

"Uh..." Stacey started, suddenly feeling insecure herself. "Because you hate fruit flesh?"

Santana didn't know why, but something about the situation felt incredibly wrong.

"How do you know I hate fruit flesh?" she wanted to know, looking Stacey straight in the eyes.

Stacey felt her alarm bells ringing, the answer 'because it was number 74 on the list' echoing loudly in her head.

"I don't know..." she tried to defend herself. "Doesn't everyone hate that?"

Santana just shook her head. "No... not many people do. And you often seem to know what I like. I mean... raspberry syrup? What is that even doing on a breakfast tray?"

The blonde couldn't believe what was happening, especially not that Santana seemed to get so extremely tensed all of a sudden.

"Listen, I don't know what's suddenly wrong... I was just trying to make breakfast you would like... I'm sorry..."

"I did this with Brittany, Stacey. Only with her. We had countless of breakfasts together - and she fucking LOVES fruit flesh. We kept fighting about this, she never understood how I could not like it..."

Santana's voice sounded a little desperate and more high pitched than usual.

Stacey's mind was working fast and she could feel the control over the situation easily slip through her hands. The thought of ruining it all with the truth terrified her.

The latina tried to regain her self-control, breathing deeply and calming down.

"Sorry..." she started. "I guess I'm... just tensed... overwhelmed... by last night and everything..."

She swallowed hard.

"You know, ... I haven't done _it_ with any other girl than her before..."

The latina didn't quite manage to form full fluent sentences.

"I know it's probably not fair... that I bring her up in conversatins so often and stuff... shit..."

Stacey felt like she had been punched in her stomach. Santana was actually apologizing for overreacting - even though her feeling had been exactly right.

The brunette got up out of the bed and hastily put on her underwear and the rest of her clothes that were carelessly thrown over the furniture.

"It's not your fault okay? I'm sorry... I just feel like I need some air or something... thank you for breakfast... and really, sorry for snapping like this..."

The blonde knew she couldn't let Santana leave like this. She knew she could just take the easy way out and let the other girl walk out of that door, feeling miserable with herself - but she was an honest person after all.

Just when Santana was about to take her bag and head out of the room, Stacey jumped out of the bed and held the brunette's shoulder.

"San?" she asked, her voice more insecure than she had expected.

Santana just looked at her expectantly.

"I... there's something I need to tell you..." she swallowed hard. "Please.. sit down again."

The latina was surprised by the blonde's serious tone and sat down on a chair next to Stacey's desk, looking confused.

"What is it...?" she wanted to know, surprised that there were any other serious topics left that they hadn't discussed before.

Stacey had to use all her willpower to go through with her decision, digging deep in the bottom drawer of her nightstand. Finally having found what she was looking for, she walked around the bed, standing in front of Santana, holding a piece of paper in her hand.

"I don't understand..." the latina started, being quite aware of the blonde's seriousness and the heavy feeling in the air.

"You were right" Stacey started, clearing her throat. "About what you said... things I know about you, that, well, were not entirely coincidence."

Santana frowned even harder, not quite sure what she was expecting to come out of her friend's mouth now.

"There's something I didn't tell you... well - to my defense - she didn't want me to tell you , so..."

"_She_?" Santana asked, immediately feeling her body tense and heat up. This couldn't be happening, she was not seriously bringing up Brittany now, was she?

Stacey carefully came a step closer towards the latina, handing her the slightly demolished piece of paper.

"She gave it to me when we started going out... I know I should have told you... I just wasn't sure... I ... I don't know..." Stacey stuttered, looking at Santana who carefully unfolded the list and let her gaze wander over it.

The brunette instantly recognized the handwriting and felt a throbbing pain in her chest at the sight of the lovingly colored drawings. She only needed to read the first few points on the list to understand what this was all about and felt herself tear up.

Santana jumped off the bed, shaking her head hard.

"No... nono... can't be true... can't believe it..." she mumbled, more or less to herself.

"Hey" Stacey tried to save the moment, touching the latina's shoulder. "Please, you have to understand - "

"Oh, I _do _understand" Santana hissed, angrily pushing the blonde's hand off her shoulder. "So this was your attempt of getting me to fuck you or what?" she almost yelled, glaring at the girl in front of her who protectively crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Trying to impress me with faking things on this list or what? Trying to become a fake Brittany so you could do me? Oh my god, I can't believe I was so fucking _stupid_."

"San - you know it's not like this, I - "

What happened then caught the blonde by surprise. Santana just walked over to her and slapped her right into her face. It hurt and Stacey let her own hand rest on the throbbing red spot on her cheek, not believing what the other girl had done.

"Don't even say it, I don't wanna hear it" the latina said with a cold voice, not bothering to hide the silent tears that were still running down her face.

Before Stacey had a chance to defend herself once more, the latina was out of the door, running along the street, having absolutely _no _idea what to do anymore...

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TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Oh damn you, Glee. Thinking of last week's episode still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. How much I love Santana and her attempt to fight for her girl...**

**With all the canon going on at the moment it's sometimes a bit difficult to separate the real show from the events in this story, but I hope it turned out okay.**

**I'm very glad to see that people are still joining me in this fictional journey, I still appreciate evry subscriber and reviewer =)**

**The B/S/S triangle really isn't easy to handle, so tell me what you'd like to happen. Santana/Stacey? Santana/Brittany? Brittany/Stacey? Threesome?**

**Haha, just kidding... (I guess :P) Cheers!**

**xxxx**

**Chapter 9**

The empty house felt terribly suffocating to Stacey. She didn't know what to do, how to react, how to make things right again. Of course she had gotten to know Santana better in the past weeks, still they had never been in a fight before and the blonde had no idea how long the latina would stay angry with her. For the fourth or fifth time she dialed Santana's number, each time hearing nothing but long and sad _toots_, followed by the brunette's voice on her answering machine.

Just when Stacey had hung up and was about to lose all hope and motivation, she heard a sound at the door. Her heart skipping a beat, she listened more closely and could hear the door slowly swing open and someone carefully come inside. Thankful and relieved, the blonde jumped off her bed, running in the direction of the entrance. Already mentally preparing a million apologies and explanations, Stacey hopped down the stairs, always taking two steps at the same time.

"I'm so glad you came back.." she breathed out while walking around the corner into the hallway.

"Thanks, I'm glad to be back, too."

Hearing the familiar voice, Stacey looked up in shock.

"Mom?"

The blonde woman in the hallway had so much in common with her daughter, yet the two couldn't have looked more different. Though both of them were about the same size and both had very similar hair, Shonda Claridge certainly knew how to play with her female charms. Wearing a white top with a few sparkling diamonds and an extremely _revealing_ cleavage that highly stressed her fake boobs, Stacey's mother stood next to her big pink plastic suitcase and expectantly looked at her daughter.

"Who did you think I was?" the older woman asked curiously.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?" Stacey just hissed back, ignoring her mother's question.

"Well honey, it's my house after all" came Shonda's simple reply, smiling as if her standing in that hallway was the most natural thing ever.

"And I am your daughter after all, still wasn't a reason for you to treat me like that either" the blonde girl mumbled bitterly, still standing about ten feet away from her mother.

"I understand that you're angry, sweetheart... but listen..."

Her tone became a little more serious and her features softened to a more genuine smile.

"I'm here to make things better okay? Why don't we get ourselves something to eat? I'll unpack my stuff and you and I talk... catch up on whatever happened while I was gone..."

"I'm not hungry" Stacey just replied with a cold voice, her emotions still obviously showing on her face.

"Alright, no problem" Shonda said softly, "we don't need to eat, we can just talk..."

"I need some air" the blonde whispered, grabbing her jacket and heading outside, passing by her mother without looking at her again.

Closing the entrance door behind her, Stacey immediately lit a cigarette, inhaling the smoke deeply in order to calm herself down. This was all a bit too much for her. First being slapped by the girl she was slowly falling in love with, then finding her mother back in their house who mixed up so many emotions inside of her - so much hurt, so much disappointment, but also so much shame about what she had done.

Stacey walked around without any particular destination, she just needed to be alone. When she finally reached a large meadow, the blonde simply laid down, staring into the sky, blowing smoke rings into the air and trying to process what the hell was happening in her life. It was just too damn exhausting.

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Santana was lying on her bed, sighing when she ignored the 11th incoming call by Stacey. Her head was aching and she supposed she must look terrible. So many times she had been close to picking up the phone, each time deciding that she still wasn't ready to talk to the blonde.

Rolling around on the bed while hugging her pillow, her mascara running long black lines down her cheeks, she was desperately trying to bring her own thoughts in order. Brittany's list hadn't left her hand since Stacey had given it to her, still Santana didn't know how to feel about the whole thing. Somehow she felt flattered that her best friend knew her even better than she knew herself, that she seemed to have put so much time and effort into making this, on the other hand she had no idea how to analyze it. Did Brittany seriously want to play a matchmaker for her and Stacey? All this time, after everything that had happened between her and the dancer, was this love really just friendship for her? Did she really have no problem with the thought of her, Santana, dating another girl? Why didn't she try to fight for her?

Then her thoughts drifted to the other blonde in her life, a girl she was so angry with that she even phsysically attacked her. In this case Santana's emotions were just as mixed up and confusing. The whole Brittany topic was one of the few things that made the latina extremely vulnerable - and Stacey should have known that. Hiding something so important from her felt like a huge betrayal - especially after what had happened between them. Santana had completely opened up to her new friend, had been willing to go through a coming out with her, had decided to sleep with her even though sex with another woman was a really big deal for her - why did she have to get hurt like this again? Why couldn't it all have worked out? She had felt as if Stacey and her were building up a real relationship, a steady base that would help Santana get through her heartbreak and finally accepting who she was. How did it happen that she was alone in her bed now after all? With neither Stacey, nor Brittany beside her?

She had been so thankful to have found someone who'd introduce her to this 'gay world' - she couldn't have done it alone. Well - she still couldn't _do_ it alone, but there was no one else in her life who she could talk to.

Trying to keep herself from starting to cry again, Santana suddenly got out of her bed. Not bothering to look into the mirror once more she just walked straight out of the door, strictly following her instincts, being too scared she might change her mind again if she waited one second longer.

The latina walked and walked, her gaze fixed on the road in front of her, not caring what was happening around her. She only stopped when she reached the doorstep of the big white house.

Swallowing hard, she slowly walked up the few steps to the entrance door. Her heart pounding heavily, Santana decided it was too late to go back now and she finally pushed the button of family Pierce's doorbell.

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After having calmed down and cleared her head for about an hour, Stacey had decided to go back and try to face her mother.

When the blonde opened the door, she felt a little stabbing pain in her chest. The house smelled like... how could she describe it? It smelled like childhood - like life when it was still okay. Her mom's typical slow jazz music was playing in the living room and it seemed as if she had prepared her favorite selfmade apple punch - judging by the strong smell of fruits and cinnamon in the air.

Realizing how Stacey's blonde head was slowly showing up at the living room's doorframe, Shonda smiled friendly and gestured her daughter to come and sit down next to her on the couch.

Stacey sat down indeed,taking a cup and silently pouring in some punch that was being heated on a teapot-warmer on the living room table. The warm cup felt good in her hands, it made her feel more comfortable, more like she was home again.

The two blonde women were just sitting like that for a while, listening to sax and piano music in the candle light, drinking their favorite hot drink.

"How are u doing?" Shonda broke their silence after a while, looking at Stacey with an almost shy expression.

"Fine" her daughter replied, avoiding her gaze.

"I want an honest answer" the mother stated seriously but friendly.

Stacey looked up to her, skeptically raising one eyebrow.

"I dont think you were _ever_ able to handle the truth, mom" she said - '_neither when I told you I'm gay, nor when I wanted to end my life' _she finished the sentence in her head.

Shonda didn't reply anything at first, just looked a little hurt and nodded.

"I'm seeing a therapist" she admitted after a little while.

Stacey seemed surprised, waiting for her mother to go on.

"I know I haven't been of great support to you... I knew I had to do something about it."

Her eyes were tearing up a little and the girl could see Shonda meant what she was saying.

"I know I never should have left you alone" she went on, swallowing hard. "I just couldn't handle it, you know? The thought of ... having driven your father away..." - her voice was close to breaking.

"... first him... and then driving my own daughter into suicide..."

"Mom..." Stacey wanted to interrupt her, but the older woman just shook her head, motioning her to let her finish.

"I felt like a failure, Stace. I was _so _scared of you. I - "

A sob was escaping her lips, sending waves of guilt and sadness through her daughter. Stacey moved closer to her mother on the couch, allowing her to lay one arm around her.

"It's okay, mom... I ... I don't blame you" she managed to bring out, almost crying herself by now.

"I wanna be here now..." Shonda went on, trying to regain some self-control and sound as genuine as possible. "... If you let me."

Stacey just nodded and let her head rest on her mother's shoulder, protectively hugging the warm cup in front of her belly.

Shonda kissed her daughter's head, so thankful she hadn't kicked her out of the house yelling and screaming.

"What is she like?" she wanted to know after a while, causing Stacey to raise her head and look at her a little confused.

"Who?"

"The girl you expected earlier" her mother explained with a friendly voice.

Stacey looked around in the room a little insecure, wondering if there were any remains of Santana's stuff in the living room that indicated she had been staying at their place.

"Are you sure you wanna talk about this?" she asked, not convinced her mother was really ready to have a serious talk about her problems with girls.

"Very sure" Shonda immediately replied, nodding at her daughter in encouragement.

Stacey cleared her throat, deciding she was going to give her mother a chance.

"Her name's Santana" she started, taking another sip from her punch.

"She has a really big mouth" she then went on, having to laugh a little.

Her mother smiled, waiting for her daughter to give her more details.

"She's so beautiful. And she knows what she wants. Even though she's still not fully out of the closet, she's still very strong - brave even." She paused for a moment, lost in memories.

"She defended me in front of the whole school, even though she had no reason to do that, she didn't even know me at that point."

"She sounds great" Shonda had to admit honestly. "What happened then? You guys had a fight?"

Stacey looked down at her hands, playing with her fingernails.

"I guess I screwed it up again" she sighed, not really wanting to elaborate again _what _exactly she had done, she had already thought about it for too long that day.

The mother could sense her daughter was about to close up again and feel miserable, so she took Stacey's hands into hers, carefully pushing her sleeves a bit aside and slowly brushing her thumb's over the girl's scars.

Both women had tears in their eyes again, the small gesture meaning so much to both of them.

"I think you should go and get you girl" Shonda stated to her daughter's surprise, still not letting go of her hands.

"You should fight for her. Whatever it is you've done, I'm sure it's nothing that couldn't be fixed again"

Stacey looked at her, a little insecure and apparently not entirely convinced yet.

"Don't let her get away, baby. Don't let Sarah's story repeat itself."

"I fought for Sarah mom, she didn't want me" Stacey defended herself little louder, the thought of the other girl still raising anger inside of her.

"I don't know why it would be any different with Santana... seems I'm quite talented when it comes to hitting my girlfriends' weak spots..."

Shonda just shook her head vehemently.

"Honey... It's not too late before u haven't tried. Don't let go."

Slowly touching the tattoo on her neck, Stacey tried to remember why she had wanted these words on her skin in the first place. As a reminder.

She nodded, resting her head on her mother's shoulder again, wanting to live this moment for at least a little while longer.

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Having been let in by Brittany's dad, Santana was heading up straight to the blonde's room, not even bothering to knock. She simply pushed the door open, relieved to find the other girl alone on her bed and not in company of her boyfriend.

Brittany looked at Santana in shock, not having expected to ever see the latina standing in her room again - especially not without any further announcement.

"Explain this to me!" the smaller girl technically yelled at the blonde and threw the little piece of paper into her lap. One hand positioned on her hip, Santana looked at her impatiently, her hair and makeup so far from looking perfect that even Brittany realized the latina must be in some state of emotional emergency.

"She was not supposed to tell you" the young girl started, nervously looking from Santana to the list and again back to Santana.

"Doesn't matter, I just wanna know why, Brit. Why?" the brunette asked, her voice a mix of anger and desperation - and a little bit of hope.

"Why what? I don't understand what you wanna hear from me" she replied confused, widening her eyes.

"Why did you do it, Brittany? Was the thought of me loving you so _terrifying_ for you that you needed to hook me up with someone else just so I'd leave you alone?"

Santana was past the point of caring that she - again - laid all her emotions out in the open in front of Brittany.

"What? Oh my god, no!" the blonde replied loudly, getting up from her bed and staring at the latina in disbelief. "Why would I have asked you to come back into my life? Have you lost your mind?"

"I don't know, because you want double dates... - no idea! It sure as hell looks like you wanna get rid of me!"

Brittany shook her head wildly, not believing her ears. _That _was what Santana read into the whole situation?

"Are you kidding me, San? I always knew you were pessimistic but this is really the cake on the cherry..."

"Cherry on the cake" the latina corrected her, as if this was of any importance.

"Whatever" Brittany hissed back, a really annoyed expression starting to show up on her face.

"I don't understand why you always have to turn everything around until it becomes something negative" she went on, shaking her head again.

"I made this list because I love you, because I want you to be happy, because I feel fucking _terrible_ for choosing Artie over you, because I miss you and think about you all the time. Jeez."

Santana wasn't sure she had ever seen Brittany swear before - and if she didn't feel so enraged herself, the blonde's anger would probably have shocked her and shut her up right away.

"Then why did you even choose him? Tell me!" she yelled back instead, somehow not believing how fast their conversation had turned into such an emotional overload.

"I explained this to you! I didn't wanna hurt him, you know that."

"Yes, then rather hurt _me_, cause I'm the bitch, right? Santana can take it. Poor Artie already had to go through _so much _in his life, who am I to even compare myself to that." Santana laughed ironically.

"Just because I seem hard on the outside? Do you have _any_ idea what it was like for me to admit that I have feelings for girls? That I have feelings for my _best friend_?"

Tears were rolling down Santana's cheeks now, adding a lot to the miserable impression she had already made before. Brittany just stared at the latina, her face red and her breathing faster than usual.

"Don't you think I wasn't scared I could lose this friendship if I tell you? And look what happened! I lost you! I'm coming out of the closet and you aren't there!"

Santana felt like she could go on yelling at Brittany for hours, so many thoughts chasing through her mind.

"I wanted to be there, but you didn't let me!" the blonde started defending herself.

"You know I'm so proud of you for doing this and you know I never wanted to hurt you!"

"Yes, but you made your decision" the latina replied bitterly.

Brittany came a step closer to Santana, looking her straight in the eyes.

"_You _hurt me so many times before, Santana! I've been in love with you for such a long time and you never seemed to care. You so often made sure I didn't take our relationship too seriously, so I moved on! But you expected me to just drop everything I built up on my own when you finally decided that you loved me back."

The blonde was tearing up herself now.

"What if you change your mind again tomorrow? Then it will hurt even worse! I felt like I owed Artie, because he never did anything bad to me..."

Santana couldn't believe what she just heard.

"Oh right, I see, I treated you _badly_! It must have been fucking _terrible_ to be my friend!" she technically screamed at Brittany now, feeling hurt by the thought that the blonde had seen their frienship like that.

"No... no, that's not what I said and what I meant and you know that" Brittany replied, shaking her head again.

"It's so hard to talk to you, its like you don't even try to understand me..." she said desperately, not knowing why Santana always had to interpret her words as if she had wanted to attack her.

"How should I, Brittany? You don't even understand yourself. Hell - you never understand _anything_."

The blonde stared back at the girl in front of her, tears streaming down her face.

"I suggest you leave now" she said silently, hurt by the latina's words and her obvious attempt to hit her weak spot.

"Fine." Santana just replied, glaring at Brittany.

"Fine." Brittany echoed, glaring right back at her.

They were standing only inches apart by now, barely able to stand the emotional electricity in the room.

None of them knew who moved first when suddenly their lips were crashing forcefully against each other. Before Santana had time to think, Brittany had pushed her against the door, breathing heavily with her eyes firmly pressed shut.

Santana grabbed Brittany's hair to drag her even closer, opening her mouth to let the blonde's tongue enter. Both of them could feel the wetness of their tears on each other's skin. It was as if time had stopped.

The latina's heart was hammering so fast, she was sure her chest was about to explode any second. Letting out a small whimper, she suddenly felt Brittany move away and break the kiss. Both girls were just looking at each other with raw emotion on their faces, wondering if this kiss was some sort of goodbye.

Brushing away the tears with her sleeve, Santana just left without a word, closing the door behind her.

The blonde just stared at the wooden material in front of her, feeling completely exhausted - physically and emotionally. Turning around, she let her back rest on the wall, her knees giving in so she was slowly sinking onto the floor.

On the other side of the door, Santana had started sobbing, rushing down the stairs to leave the Pierce's house as quickly as possible

She walked home even faster than she had come here before, wanting nothing more but to drag her blanket over her face and forget what had just happened.

Brittany's taste still lingering on her own lips, the latina walked around the corner into the street where she was living - freezing when she spotted her house.

Parked in front of her garage was an orange VW Beatle.

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TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So, this is soooomehow a filler chapter.. even though what happens is pretty significant I guess. I wanna thank you all again for the kind reviews, especially those of you who seem to put so much thought into it, thanks :)**

**And well, I'm aware I can't make everyone happy with this story, I guess that's the sucky part when you do a love triangle, some ppl end up hating you :P**

**Can't wait for tonight's episode... but that Brittany sneak peek? If that really happens and is not just a dream or sth... then IDK what to think anymore. *sigh* She better doesn't disappoint me, I need positive inspiration for this fic!**

**xxxxxx**

**Chapter 10**

Spotting the Beetle, Santana felt hot and cold shivers run through her body. Sweat was building up on her forehead and she felt the very strong urge to just run away. But where? She certainly couldn't run back to Brittany and hide there, and waiting somewhere outside didn't sound too promising either. She figured she could just tell Stacey to leave her alone, or sneak into her house through the backdoor and play dead girl under her bed... - or she could just be brave and walk over there, face Stacey and have a normal and serious talk.

Moving closer to the car, Santana could see that Stacey was still sitting behind the steering wheel, her huge retro headphones on her ears, humming the melody of a song with her eyes closed.

The blonde opened her eyes in shock when the latina suddenly knocked on the window of the driver's door and motioned her to open it.

Letting her headphones rest on her shoulders, Stacey hastily shot down the window and looked at the girl next to her in awe.

"You wanna come inside?" Santana simply asked, figuring that she could spare the other girl a typical 'oh my god, what are _you _doing here?' - scene.

The blonde just nodded and got out of her car, following the latina inside the house and into her room. It was actually the first time for Stacey to be in the Lopez' house so she couldn't help but curiously look around.

Having sat down on a chair opposite the large bed, the blonde began to realize how terrible Santana looked. None of her usual outward perfection was left, she rather seemed as if she had cried for days and then ran a marathon without sleeping in between. Stacey felt incredibly sorry.

"I... um... you don't look too good" the blonde started, not really knowing how to put her thoughts into words.

"Thanks" Santana replied a little ironically, she knew that better than anyone else.

Picking up a box of cleansing tissues and starting to wipe one along her flushed cheeks, the latina tried to plan her next move. Enjoying the fresh smell on her skin, she felt like she just had to get out what was on her mind in order to come to any conclusion with the girl in front of her.

"Listen..." she started, expertly throwing the used tissue into the trash can underneath her desk and looking at Stacey more confidently than she had expected.

"I wanna be honest with you... I mean, we both saw now what happens if we keep secrets from each other and I really wanna avoid something like that in the future, so just let me spit it out."

"Yes, uh, sure" Stacey mumbled nervously, already having a vague idea what was about to come.

"I went over to Brittany's earlier. Confronted her about the list..."

Stacey felt her heart beat faster, seeing any chance of being with Santana fade away into the darkness.

"We had a fight - like... a _major_ fight" the latina continued, still facing the blonde with a deep and serious look.

"I'm sorry" Stacey managed to bring out, her voice a little raspy.

"Then we kissed."

Santana pronounced the sentence slowly and looked Stacey straight in the eyes, waiting for any sign of emotional reaction.

"...okay..." the blonde replied insecure, not knowing if this was the latina's way of punishing her by breaking up with her excruciatingly slow on purpose.

"We didnt talk about it, I just left afterwards, but you deserve to know..." Santana said, seriously but not unfriendly.

"To be honest... I dont even really know where you and I are standing... and where I want us to stand... I mean, we never said we're a couple right?"

_'We certainly behaved like one' _Stacey had wanted to say but kept quiet.

"Well... I hope you believe me when I say I'm not meaning to hurt you and this wasn't any kind of a 'planned payback'."

Stacey's gaze traveled around in the room, trying to distract her view in order not to start crying.

"Hey.. Stacey... look at me" the latina demanded with a soft voice. Their eyes met again and Santana felt sorry for the blonde whose vision had already become blurry from her tears.

"It really sucked that you lied to me and I honestly admit that I felt very betrayed in... but slapping you was wrong. Just in that moment - yeah... I felt like you deserved it... and well, when I'm hurt, I sometimes lack words and let my actions speak..."

Santana brushed some hair behind her ear.

"I'll work on that though" she added with a slightly embarassed voice.

"It's okay... I can take it. You do slap like a girl" she added, trying to smile and lighten the mood a little.

"I'm not mad at you.." she then tried to return to the original topic. "I just... What does it mean for us now? I don't know... just tell me honestly what you think."

"I don't know ..." the latina replied slowly. "I think we might have rushed into things... I'm not saying I dont want you, cause I do. The past days with you were amazing, I get nervous when I'm around you, you're a very special girl..."

"But it's not enough, right?" Stacey interrupted her speech, her voice sad and disappointed.

Santana sighed.

"I just think I need to be on my own for a while... I wanna be honest with you, Stacey, cause I always was. You're really someone I can see myself fall in love with. You managed to make me happy, make me laugh, make me feel okay with who I am... and I'm so very thankful for all of that..."

The latina swallowed hard.

"... but the stuff that was going on with Brittany... It all feels like fresh wounds... I thought I could just move on and forget about it, or ignore it, or distract myself - but it didn't work out as I had hoped. I guess it wouldnt be fair to you to start something serious when I'm not even fully understanding my own emotions..."

Santana was somehow surprised by her own words and mature actions, glad she managed to stay so calm, and relieved to honestly talk about what she felt.

"Do you want her back? I mean... are you planning to fight for her, now that you two kissed and all...?" the blonde asked, somehow hoping Santana would say no.

"I dont know, Stacey... I'm sorry. I really have no idea."

The other girl just nodded, trying to force a smile while the first tear ran down her cheek.

"Im sorry... I don't wanna cry. I mean... I just don't wanna lose you... I'm sorry I lied" Stacey then brought out, sobs and sniffles coming faster than she had expected.

Alarmed by the blonde's sudden crying, Santana moved over to Stacey and hugged her .

"Hey hey... shh.. I dont wanna lose you either" she whispered, stroking blonde hair and petting the other girl's back.

"I don't know, if it's okay with you, I'd just suggest we stay good friends for now? I dont think it's too late for that, there's still so much we dont know about each other. I still wanna go out with you, hang out, talk and get to know you even better - all that stuff"

"My mom is back" Stacey suddenly burst out in a mix of laughter and heartbreaking sob.

"What? When? Why?" Santana exclaimed surprised, releasing the blonde from her hug in order to look at her.

"Today.. she just stood there all of a sudden... she wants to move back in, she's sorry, she's in therapy..." the blonde rambled, grabbing a tissue to blow her nose.

"Stacey - thats great, isn't it?" the latina smiled with genuine excitement, hugging her again.

The taller girl cleared her throat, calming down from her sobs.

"Yes.. yes I guess, too. I realized how much I missed her. I really really hope it will work out this time..."

"Me too" Santana replied friendly, squeezing the blonde's hand.

"San?" the blonde asked carefully, not letting go of the latina's fingers.

"Hm?"

"Would it be okay for you if I stay a little longer? Idk.. it just helps being here with you, it was such a damn confusing day.."

"It really was" Santana agreed, still feeling her own emotional confusion in every bone of her body.

"And sure, you can stay as long as you like."

Stacey laid down next to Santana on the bed. She didn't even wanna kiss her, she just needed to feel assured she was not losing the latina completely.

Slowly feeling her body relax again, Stacey decided she needed to know one more thing.

"I have one more question..." she began, looking at the ceiling.

"What is it?"

"Do you think that.. I mean.. Did you sleep with me because I reminded you of her? Because of what I did, connected to the list and all?" the blonde asked, a little scared what the answer might be.

Santana turned to her side to look at her, smiling a little and shaking her head.

"No" she said very friendly. "I slept with you because I liked the person I saw and still see in you, this unique and amazing character who is very special and doesn't need to fake _anyone._"

Stacey just nodded and smiled, breathing out slowly in relief, enjoying to be next to the latina for a little while longer before heading back home to a house that finally wasn't empty anymore.

xxxxxxxx

The next day, Artie and Brittany were sitting in a café, eating icecream. As she had already done the past few weeks, the blonde was giving her boyfriend the silent treatment, absent-mindedly stirring the spoon around in her sundae. Artie had more or less given up trying to start a conversation with the blonde, already knowing that it was of no use lately.

"I have to tell you something and I think you're gonna be mad" Brittany suddenly broke the silence, looking up from the cup in front of her.

"I was afraid you'd say that sooner or later" Artie admitted, widening his and expecting the worst.

"It's about Santana, Artie... we kissed."

The boy released the breath he didn't even know he'd been holding and laughed in relief.

"Oh Brit, I know that."

"You know?" the blonde exclaimed, shocked and confused. "How?"

"Everyone knows, - even a blind person would see it. I know you two were still making out sometimes when we started dating, but.. yeah... I figured I shouldn't talk about it, I mean, I know you guys are very close and you have been for years, so I figured it's okay and I just accept it."

Brittany frowned, staring at her boyfriend in disbelief.

"Why did you never say anything?"

"I don't know, Brit... I just think- well- what does a pretty, talented and healthy girl want with a boy in a wheelchair? I figured..." Artie had to clear his throat. "I figured I probably couldn't give you all you needed... I mean... _sexually_" he admitted, pronouncing the last word and looking at the young dancer.

"Remember the other night, when we wanted to do that _thing _and it didn't quite work out...?" - now it was his turn to start stirring in his sundae.

"But that was no problem for me, I told you that!" Brittany defended herself, appalled by her boyfriend's insecurities connected to their sexlife.

"I know you did.. but I figured that, yeah, I'd let you get this kind of satisfaction with a girl who is also your best friend, rather than one day finding you cheat on me with another guy."

"Wait, you think I'd cheat on you with another guy because there's some sex stuff that you can't do?" the blonde exclaimed, starting to feel offended by the boy's assumptions.

"No, I didn't mean you'd necessarily do that, I'm just saying I accepted that you get some satisfaction with Santana, I thought it could only be helpful for our relationship.."

Brittany was entirely confused now.

"This all wasn't even what I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to tell you that we kissed. Yesterday. And it was a different kiss than usual, because it was the first time we kissed since we talked about feelings. We never did that. Usually we just made out, and that wasn't cheating anyways. Because the plumbing's different." she rambled, hoping that Artie was able to follow her thoughts.

"I wouldn't cheat on you Artie, that's why I told you now right away about the kiss."

"Brit..." he sighed, getting ready to use his lecturing voice.

"Sex is sex... it doesnt matter if it's between a boy and a girl or two people of the same gender. When you decide to get physical with a different person than your own partner, then it's definitely cheating. And like I said, I don't even blame you..."

Brittany started waving her hand in order for Artie to shut up. She felt completely terrible, thinking that her boyfriend had been living in this relationship all this time, accepting the thought that she was cheating on him with her best friend.

"But you were so mad at me when you thought I cheated on you with Mike, why was it different with Santana?" she wanted to know, hoping to understand the boy better.

"I don't know .. All I know is that you're a good person, Brittany. And I know you don't want to hurt anyone, being with you in this relationship really taught me that. When we first started dating, I didn't even know u, I thought you didn't really care about my feelings when you took my virginity... but in the past months I really got to know and understand you much better , and I learned to love what I found out about you. And I know you love Santana just as much as you love me... I think... yeah.. I just wanted you to be happy."

Brittany felt like throwing up. She didn't know how to analyze Artie's confession. Even though she appreciated his words and good intentions, it suddenly felt like their relationship had been a lie, something about it didnt feel right anymore, as if it wasn't even real.

She swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry, Artie.. " she said, looking at him with a sad face and finally pronouncing what she should have done weeks ago.

"I don't think I can be in this relationship anymore. I didn't wanna cheat on you, I hope you know that. I should have known better, I should have understood that being with Santana meant too much to just keep rolling with it. I didnt wanna hurt you..."

"Hey, Brit.. " he interrupted her, taking her hand. "It's okay.. I know... "

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back at home, Brittany finally felt something she hadn't felt in... - well she had probably never even felt that before in her life: _clarity_.

For the first time she didn't feel confused, she felt entirely light-hearted. Part of her still felt sorry for Artie but apart from that, it was as if a door had suddenly swung wide open and what she saw was Santana. No one else.

Completely chipper she hopped up the steps to the entrance door, half walking, half dancing into the hallway.

"What's up with _you_?" her dad asked who was standing in the living room's doorframe.

"I'm in love!" Brittany sang, hugging her father.

"Uh... I'm glad you and Artie get along so well.." he said, surprised by his daughter's small cuddle attack.

"Not Artie, dad. We broke up."

Mister Pierce was just frowning now, not asking any further questions.

"Gotta go again though" Brittany went on while throwing some things into her bag that were lying around in the house.

"Where?" her dad wanted to know, his gaze trying to follow his daughter who moved faster than he could look.

"To make sure that she loves me back!"

"_She_?" the confused father asked, but the entrance door had already been closed again and his daughter had jumped on her pink bike, driving away.

"Teenagers..." he sighed, shaking his head and returning to his coffee and newspaper.

xxxxxxxxxx

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm glad I already found some time to write tonight, Glee is a really helpful motivation lately! =)**

**At the moment I'm trying to figure out where I really wanna go with this fic, if I wanna end it 'soon' or make it a really long story. I don't want it to feel like one of those shows that stop being interesting in season 27, so I still need to plan a little ;)**

**Anyhow, I hope you like this chapter, things are getting a little more twisted again. Looking forward to hearing your opinions =)**

**xxxxxxx**

**Chapter 11**

Brittany was driving to Santana's house as fast as she could. The sun was already setting since she still had to make a quick stop in town to pick a little present for the girl she loved - as an apology, a sign of her affection, as something that would always remind Santana of her.

Even though her body was well trained from all the dancing, her legs started to hurt and her face was almost as pink as the little old bike she was riding - half from her physical exhaustion, half from her total excitement.

Finally reaching the Lopez' house, Brittany hastily jumped off her vehicle and carelessly let it drop onto the pavement, not caring if it left any scratches on the paint.

Just when she was about to hit the doorbell, the blonde realized that the big black Landrover was parked in front of the garage - a sign that Santana's parents must be home. Brittany never really wore watches - considering she was very slow at reading them and they annoyed her - so she could only figure that it might already be too late to ring, at least unannounced.

She tried to call the brunette on her cell phone but of course no one picked up - she needed to try to get Santana's attention otherwise. Glancing around in the Lopez' frontyard, her eyes rested on a few small stones - just the perfect size to throw them. The blonde had seen people do that in movies, mostly in lovestories, so she figured it was perfect - poetic even.

Brittany took the first stone, wondering if it was big enough to make a noise that the latina would hear. She expertly aimed at Santana's window and threw the little gray piece of gravel with not too much power. It hit the glass with a little _dong_ and the blonde waited.

And waited.

Nothing happened.

Sighing, Brittany decided she'd have to use a bigger stone, so she took one of these pretty big white ones that were encircling the little path to the Lopez' backyard.

Aiming again, one eye closed, her tongue peeking out of her mouth in concentration, Brittany threw once more, this time a little more forcefully.

The much louder _DONG_ definitely had to be heard - and the small crack in the glass definitely had to be seen.

After a few seconds, Santana's window finally swang open and the latina's head appeared, looking shocked, surprised and confused, her hair sticking out in all directions.

"_What the...?"_ the girl started, widening her eyes and not believing what she saw.

"Hey!" Brittany yelled cheerfully, waving at the latina and smiling brightly.

"Brit, what are you doing? Why on earth are you throwing stones at my window?" she managed to ask, eyeing the long crack in the glass with disbelief.

"You didn't pick up the phone" the blonde explained shrugging as if her reaction was the most normal thing in the world.

"I was asleep" the latina replied, trying to straighten her hair in order to look at least a little bit more attractive.

"Oh, but you are awake now?" Brittany asked with serious concern, looking up to her friend with big blue eyes.

"_Obviously_" Santana stated, frowning and shaking her head. "What do you want?"

She didn't mean to sound annoyed, but what was Brittany thinking? They'd had a huge fight not too long ago, and now she just came by, almost destroyed her window and acted like nothing happened?

"I wanna be with you, San."

Now that definitely wasn't what the latina had expected as an answer. She felt a sudden nervous feeling in her belly, like going down with an elevator.

"I finally understood what you were saying to me a few weeks ago! About not wanting to be with guys anymore! I lo-"

"_Shhh_" Santana hissed with an alarmed look on her face, motioning the fast rembling, half yelling girl to be quiet.

"Brittany, my parents are home..." she tried to whisper loud enough so the blonde in the frontyard would be able to hear her. Looking around nervously, her eyes switching from left to right to make sure her parents were nowehere near them, she quickly put on a sweater.

".. wait, I'll come downstairs..."

"Okay!" Brittany replied friendly, hugging her bag in front of her belly, happily waiting for the latina to open the door.

When Santana stepped outside, Brittany almost jumped at the petite brunette, embracing her closely.

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna fight with you" she said with her face very close to the latina's, causing the still confused girl to inhale her fruity smell.

Santana's body remained stiff during the hug, her eyes still widened in surprise. After a few seconds she at least managed to raise one arm in order to pet the blonde's back a little bit.

"Let's get a bit away from here, I dont need my parents to spy on me when we have ... serious conversations..." the brunette pleaded, breaking the hug and moving away from her family's house.

Brittany had somehow hoped the latina would react a little more chipper, so she inevitably calmed down from her high and just nodded, following santana around the corner to sit down next to her on a bench.

"I got you something" she said after a few seconds, her smile now seeming a little insecure.

Santana took the small present into her hands and eyed it closely. It was chaotically wrapped in pink paper with a huge rainbow colored bow on it. The sticky tape stripes that were glued all over the parcel made it hard for the latina to unwrap it quickly.

When she had finally managed to remove the packing, two huge brown eyes were staring at her.

"A ... plushy panda?" Santana asked hesitantly, looking at the soft toy a little more closely.

"Yes! It's super cute, it reminds me of you! It has your eyes! And it's lebanese. His name's Pandi!" Brittany exclaimed, her previous excitement slowly returning.

Santana raised one eyebrow, looking at the little red tag next to the panda's fluffy tail, saying "Made in Lebanon" in bold white letters.

The latina had to smile at the cute gesture, absent-mindedly stroking the bear's belly with her thumb.

"You like it?" Brittany asked hopefully but a little insecure.

"Yes.. yes sure.. I love it" the smaller girl answered honestly, still not fully understanding how they could have gone from totally yelling at each other to giving each other lovely presents in only one day.

Brittany smiled in relief.

"Why are you suddenly acting like this... is it because of... what happened between us?" Santana asked a bit more serious, not letting go of Pandi.

Brittany stared at Santana with a look in her eyes that was so friendly, so sincere, so _pure_, it made her realize again how beautiful the blonde was. She looked so pretty with her amazing blonde curls, her rosy cheeks, her flawless face - Santana's heart was aching.

Brittany touched her leg, smiling.

"I broke up with Artie" she stated calmly, hoping that the sentence itself was already explaning enough.

Santana felt her hormones doing a happy dance and fought very hard against the urge to scream "_FINALLY!". _Her thoughts drifted to Stacey and what they had been talking about earlier that day. Her smile was fading.

Santana's gaze left Brittany and she just stared at the scenery in front of her, feeling uneasy.

"What is it?" the blonde next to her asked carefully, not sure if she should remove her hand from her friend's leg.

"I thought this was what you wanted" she almost whispered, somehow realizing that Santana wasn't about to start kissing her as if there was no tomorrow.

"It was.." the latina carefully started, seeming to be lost in thoughts. "But a lot happened since I asked you to end things with him.."

"Santana.. are you still dating Stacey?" the young dancer wanted to know, looking at the latina expectantly.

"Yes.. I mean no... I mean... I told her I needed space to figure out stuff" Santana tried to explain, her head spinning by now.

"Yes, you can have that space and figure out you wanna be with me" the blonde simply suggested.

"Brittany, it's not that easy..."

"Of course it is. You said you love me. I love you. It's totally easy." Brittany concluded desperately, eyes widened and her arms protectively crossed in front of her chest.

"But I don't know how I feel about her, Brit" the latina went on slowly. "It wouldn't be right to jump into this now, I don't wanna hurt her."

Just when she had pronounced the last sentence, the realization hit her. Their terrible locker conversation was repeating itself - just somehow their roles were switched and Santana suddenly understood what the blonde must have dealt with in that moment. She felt miserable and stuck.

Brittany looked sad and distressed, not knowing what to reply anymore, so they sat like that in quiet, listening to the chirping crickets.

After what felt like hours, the blonde finally cleared her throat.

"I can wait for you..." she said with a serious but friendly voice, trying to smile a little.

"...until you have figured it out."

Santana smiled back at the beautiful girl, the blonde's words meaning incredibly much to her. She took Brittany's hand and started stroking it softly.

"Thank you" she whispered, brushing a tear away that had slowly been rolling out of the corner of her eye. More than anything she hoped that it would all turn out to be okay.

xxxxxxx

The next day at school Santana sat down in the canteen, scanning the area to see if any of her friends were already there. Just when she was about to open her diet coke, she felt a hand on her shoulder

"Hey" Brittany said in a soft voice, smiling a little shy. "Can I have lunch with you again?"

"Yes, sure, sit down" Santana replied friendly, pointing at the chair in front of her.

"I'm happy we can go back to the way it was, I missed this so much" she stated honestly, sitting down and getting ready to start eating.

"Me too" Santana smiled, taking a sip of her cool drink.

The blonde lovingly stared at the girl in front of her when suddenly her eyes wandered a little up and her gaze turned cold. Realizing the change in Brittany's expression, Santana turned her head around to look behind her.

"Oh.. hey" she brought out, looking at Stacey.

"Mind if I sit down with you guys?"

Santana swallowed hard. Of course she didn't mind having Stacey around, she still meant a lot to her, but being confronted with both girls at the same time practically screamed _disaster_.

The latina shook her head, her eyes switching from one blonde to the other.

"So, I guess you two are getting along again?" Stacey asked curiously, picking with her fork in her salad.

"Why wouldn't we?" Brittany asked, staring at the other blonde who was sitting far too close to Santana.

"Nevermind" the older girl replied, turning to the latina next to her. "So, I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner again some time. My mom would really like to meet you. I mean, casually of course, you know she hasn't been here for a while and she said she'd love for me to have some friends over again."

Santana nervously looked first on her plate, then quickly let her eyes rest on Brittany as if she was trying to read the answer on her face. Brittany just stared back at the two girls like a deer right before it gets hit by a car.

"Um.. yes, I guess we could do that... casually" she mumbled, overwhelmed by the situation.

"My dad asked if you wanna come with us to our beach house again for a weekend some time" Brittany suddenly improvised. "You know, like we always did. For years. Since we were kids" she added, pronouncing every sentence.

Stacey was raising her eyebrows, immdiately picking up on what the young dancer was about to do and not willing to let it go that easily. Santana chose to reply nothing, feeling like all oxygen was slowly getting sucked out of the canteen.

"The weather is getting warmer every day, we could also go swimming soon. I mean, we don't neccessarily need a _beach_, we could check out this new waterslide park" Stacey continued, trying to sound casual.

"I heard they have sharks there" Brittany replied in a numb voice, hoping it would make Santana say 'no' to the other girl's suggestion.

"No sharks, only cute dolphins" Stacey remarked right away.

"That's the _same_, you as a gay girl should know that" Brittany stated, laughing a little ironically and rolling her eyes.

Santana was aware that this conversation was not about her anymore and she felt herself getting annoyed by the girls' weird competitive behaviour.

"Speaking of gay, aren't you dating this Artie kid?" Stacey wanted to know, not even looking at the latina anymore and only glaring at the other blonde.

"No, we broke up. I know who I wanna be with" Brittany replied, an unusually challenging expression on her face.

"Took you long enough" Stacey hissed back, "but sometimes people wait _too_ long with such decisions."

"And sometimes people are too fast when they rush into relationships with people they don't even know."

Stacey was trying her best to stay calm but she was not about to give up this fight.

"And sometimes people only want what they can't have and make sure they're still number one, even though their person of interest is sharing their bed with someone else."

Brittany felt a pain in her chest by the sudden image of Santana and Stacey being all cozy and cuddly and _naked_ in bed together. She pushed her plate aside, the last bit of appetite disappeared.

Santana who had been quiet in the past minutes just stood up, shaking her head.

"You know what, girls? I'm gonna leave you two alone now, cause _I_ actually wanted to enjoy my lunchbreak and your weird verbal catfight leaves a bitter taste in my mouth."

With that she just took her food, not looking at the two blondes anymore and just left the canteen, feeling miserable.

Stacey and Brittany were left alone at the table like two puppies in a thunderstorm. The ex-cheerio was the first one who found her voice again.

"So... you guys actually did it?" she wanted to know, keeping her gaze on the table, scared of the answer.

"You know what, Brittany?" the other girl started, "I don't understand you. First you come to me and act all like you're trying to hook me up with Santana and want me to take care of her, and now you decide you wanna make it extra hard for me? What kind of game is that? - And just to come back to your previous question: yes, we _did it_, you're not the only girl Santana ever looked at anymore and I guess now you have to deal with it."

Having let all of her anger out, Stacey stood up as well, stamping away and leaving Brittany all alone at the lunch table.

The dancer felt sad and scared, suddenly realizing that Stacey's and Santana's relationship might have been more serious than she had expected. In her mind, the other blonde transformed into some kind of green and ugly Frankenstein's monster - a monster she had created herself by encouraging her to make Santana happy.

The blonde stared into emptiness, not noticing the world around her anymore. If any of the girls had paid some more attention on their surroundings earlier, maybe one of them would have recognized the brunette girl sitting a few tables afar who had been spying on their conversation all the time. Now - with both Stacey and Santana out of sight, the quite small but pretty girl sat down next to Brittany on the empty seat.

"Hi, you're Brittany?" the brunette asked friendly and smiled.

"Yes?" the blonde replied confused, as if she wasn't quite sure herself.

"Trouble with your girlfriend?" she asked curiously, a somehow concerned look on her face.

"She's not my girlfriend..." Brittany stated sadly, looking as if she might start crying any second.

"But you want her to be.." the brunette concluded understandingly.

"I'm giving her time..." the blonde explained, not even knowing why she was having such a conversation with a complete stranger.

"She still has this crush on the pierced chick. I don't know why she's even pierced. _My_ name is Pierce, hers is Claridge. It makes absolutely no sense."

The pretty girl chuckled, brushing her curly hair behind her ears.

"Listen... if you want Santana to forget Miss Tongue Piercing and pick you instead, then I guess you should do more than just wait."

"What do you mean?" Brittany wanted to know, raising an eyebrow but somehow feeling the other girl might actually have some helpful advice.

"If you want her to choose you, then you _really_ have to fight for her" she explained nodding, as if she knew what she was talking about.

"Okay.." Brittany tried to follow her. "How?"

"Aren't you in Glee Club? You could sing a song for her" the stranger suggested, not hiding the fact that she seemed to know a lot about the girl next to her.

"Yeah, I am, but I'm not a very good singer" the taller blonde sighed, her insecurities becoming quite obvious.

"I'm sure there's something you're really good at" the girl tried to encourage Brittany, smiling and offering her one of her strawberries.

The blonde took the red little fruit and started chewing, wondering what her best qualities were. As if the best idea had suddenly popped into her mind, the blonde started smiling, knowing there was one thing she was truly amazing at.

"Yes.. you're right.. I guess i know what I could do..." She thought about it for a moment longer.

"Will you help me?" she finally asked, the excitement in her rising again.

She had no idea why she was even asking a girl for help who she'd never even seen before, but the brunette seemed so involved and interested - and she knew she needed some support in this plan.

"I'd love to" the girl replied surprisingly happy and chipper, smiling at the blonde.

"What's your name?" Brittany asked, realizing she at least needed to know this little detail if she wanted to work with the brunette.

The girl laughed, reaching out her hand to fully introduce herself.

"My name's Sarah."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Santana's hands were roaming over Stacey's exposed breasts, gently caressing them. The blonde beneath her moaned, trying to raise her head in order to passionately kiss her lover. Maneuvering herself into a sitting position, she grabbed the Latina's dark brown hair and pulled her closer, passionately licking along her collarbone, leaving small bite marks.

The smaller girl felt ecstatic, fully letting herself go and enjoying each kiss and touch. Her heart was beating fast when she felt the blonde's lips around one of her nipples, sucking and encircling it with her tongue.

Shivers ran through her whole body and she could feel how wet she was, desperately needing this to go further.

Just when she thought she was about to explode, she finally felt two hands embracing her from behind and another pair of lips kissing and licking along her neck. Santana's eyes fell shut with pleasure when she felt Brittany's right hand travel down her belly until it reached the spot where she needed her most. The blonde's middle finger started rubbing the latina's clit while Stacey's mouth was still on her breasts, causing Santana to whimper.

Stacey's lips left the Latina's nipple and she kissed her way up the smaller girl's neck and chin until her tongue reached Santana's earlobe.

"You're mine." she breathed into her right ear with a deep and raspy voice.

Brittany, still positioned behind Santana, continued rubbing her, increasing the pressure on the other girl's clit. The Latina felt she was close, the feel of one of the blonde's fingers slowly entering her only adding to the sensation.

It didn't take long for the blonde to fully fill Santana up, she was wet as hell and she had wanted this for so long. Brittany started fucking her faster, kissing the brunette's shoulders and back.

Just when Santana felt her orgasm hit her and her walls clench around the blonde's fingers, Brittany's mouth was right next to her left ear.

"You're only mine, and you know it."

Santana saw stars, her body shaking before it turned weak and she let herself sink on top of Stacey. Brittany was following right after her, letting her head and parts of her body rest on the Latina's back.

The smaller girl kept her eyes closed, enjoying the feel of being surrounded by two hot and beautiful bodies.

"Open your eyes.." Stacey whispered.

"I don't want to."

"Open your eyes.." Brittany joined.

"Santana! Open your eyes! It's late!"

Santana's eyes shot open, looking straight into her mother's face.

"Mom!" she exclaimed confused, looking around in her room and protectively pulling the blanket over her, scared she might have talked or - dear god - _moaned_ in her sleep.

"You're late for school" her mother pointed out. "And I think you just had a nightmare" she added with a little concern in her voice. "You were breathing heavily, as if you were running from something... a monster?"

Santana wished she could just disappear in a hole.

"Uh.. yeah" she stuttered. "Something like that."

xxxxx

Later that day, still somehow lost in thoughts over her quite intense dream, Santana was sitting alone under a tree in the schoolyard, not really trying to attract anyone's attention. Her emotional chaos was still messing with her head - she didn't even recognize herself anymore during those past few weeks. Whenever she thought too long about her trouble with girls, she could feel herself tear up and get all nervous in her belly.

Sometimes she wondered why things had changed like this and why the kickass bitch she used to be suddenly seemed to turn into a weak little crying baby. Then again she figured that the past years of her teenage life had been dominated by something like extreme gay denial - leading to the fact that none of the guys she used to date ever could have hurt her or cause as many emotions in her as these two certain blondes had done since she finally allowed herself to feel something real.

To her own disappointment, Santana didn't manage to remain unrecognized - a certain brunette was suddenly standing next to her (wearing a ridiculous brown and white dog t-shirt) and looked down at her with a quite worried expression on her face.

"Santana!" Rachel exclaimed, "Mind if I sit down?"

The Latina just shrugged, not really in the mood to throw vicious words at the other girl, but clearly indicating that she'd rather have her quiet.

Rachel knew exactly that the other girl didn't want her to be around, still she was smart and had picked up on the fact that Santana seemed to have been on the edge of her emotions lately. She must have gone through a lot and it surprised the ambitious brunette to see the usually tough girl so vulnerable. Rachel felt sorry for her, having a vague idea what this might all be about, and she wasn't about to leave again just like that.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this" the girl started, carefully sitting down next to Santana on the grass, "but you seem a little... _odd_ lately."

The Latina just frowned, looking at Rachel with an annoyed expression.

"I mean, I am not that well informed, but... have you really been dating this girl Stacey?"

Santana couldn't believe that the young singer was actually going to confront her with such a topic now, here, in the middle of her break when she just wanted to clear her head.

"Mind your own business, Berry" she hissed, dragging her legs closer to her body and protectively hugging her knees in front of her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be curious or inapporpriate, it's just... I always thought you had a thing for Brittany.."

Santana raised her eyebrows.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, everyone knows you two were more than just friends and, you know, I think it's totally okay. Just.. are you gay? Or bisexual? Or - "

"I don't wanna talk about it, certainly not with _you_" the Latina interrupted her harshly.

"Okay..." Rachel just replied, followed by an awkward silence.

Not being able to shut her mouth for much longer, the singer continued.

"I think she really really likes you though.. " she went on in a friendly, almost soft voice.

"I think she's always loved you. You two just function around each other, you're a team and I think you'd also make a cute couple -"

"Rachel! _Enough_!" Santana interrupted her once more, feeling this person she didn't even like starting to deliberately tease her weak spot.

"I'm sorry..." Rachel apologized with an almost sad voice, looking slightly hurt.

Santana sighed and her features slowly softened.

"Listen.. I just.. I don't know... it's _hard_ okay?"

"What makes it so hard?" the other girl wanted to know, more or less pushing the Latina into this conversation so she'd finally open up a little bit.

"I don't know... I don't know who to turn to anymore, with all this crap going on... it's just confusing.." she admitted, her desperation becoming quite obvious. She started pulling out some blades of grass and playing with them, just so she wouldn't have to look at the curious person next to her who already knew far more than Santana had wanted her to know.

"Do your parents know?" she then asked seriously.

Santana looked up from the mess she'd been creating and raised one eyebrow in total disbelief.

"Do my parents know _what?_"

"Well, that you're gay" Rachel added, shrugging as if it was an entirely normal conclusion.

Santana started laughing ironically. "No, of course they _don't_" she stated obviously, shaking her head.

Rachel didn't give up and went on with her speech, completely obliviously.

"You should tell them, it's important to have support coming from the own family. Sexuality can be a very confusing thing Santana, and your parents shouldn't be your enemy at that time, they should be your friends and strength."

"Coming from a girl with two gay dads..." the Latina remarked rolling her eyes, not relly being able to take the other girl seriously.

"Yeah well, I have to admit, coming out to my dads would be pretty easy, but still - I'm sure it would make you feel a lot better."

"I don't know, Rachel..." Santana started, still finding it hard to open up to the person next to her but somehow appreciating her interest.

"It's been hard even admitting it to Brittany... it's been quite a big challenge holding hands with Stacey at school... but my parents.. that's a whole different thing." She swallowed hard.

"Stacey told me about her ex-girlfriend and how her parents freaked out when they found out about about them.. I don't want my parents to.. yeah... lose their love and respect for me."

She felt herself become weak again and mentally kicked herself for being so fucking emotional.

Rachel smiled at Santana and petted her leg in reassurance.

"I'm sure this won't happen, Santana, your parents love you. Every parent should love their child unconditionally..." She thought for a moment. "But.. well.. I guess it might really be easier if you didn't have to go alone through this, if you could do it with a partner. Someone you love and who supports you in that process.."

"Yeah, but i dont _have_ a partner, I don't even know what I want" the Latina sighed, defensively returning her focus to the plucked grass.

"You mean you don't know if you want Stacey or Brit?" Rachel asked a little incredulously.

"Yeah..."

"Hm.." the brunette started thinking aloud. "Loving two people at the same time can be difficult... but you should follow your heart and make your decision before you lose them both."

Santana had to admit this sounded plausible, but it just wasn't as easy.

"I don't wanna hurt anyone.."

"I know" the singer said friendly, smiling a little. "Just... sometimes it's not possible to find a way that pleases everyone. Love often hurts."

Santana just nodded.

"I'm pretty sure, when you look deep inside yourself... I think you know who you wanna be with."

_'Damn you, Rachel Berry'_ was all Santana could think, '_why do you always have to be right?'_

xxxxxxxxx

Brittany and Sarah were laying on their bellies in an empty classrom, _planning._ Brittany had her iPod connected with speakers and a subwoofer, for the millionth time going through different songs, taking notes, skipping through all kinds of genres and analyzing lyrics.

The dancer knew that if she wanted to do a really good mashup of songs, it needed to consist of songs that represented Santana's and her relationship. It needed to have lyrics that would remind the Latina of her, it needed to have different styles of music to show how multisided their relationship had always been, it needed to be romantic.. and it needed to be _sexy_.

Sarah had been really helpful so far in the whole process and they had managed to pick a few songs that already became short-listed candidates.

"Have you talked to Mister Shue yet? About needing the auditorium?" Sarah wanted to know, googling for some lyrics and copy-pasting parts of them into a word document.

"I'll do this afternoon, when I talked to Rachel and Mercedes" the blonde answered. "I thought maybe they could come with me, I'm not sure Mister Shue is gonna give me the keys to the auditorium because he might be scared I'd lose them or something."

The brunette nodded and sat down in a more comfortable position, facing the blonde next to her.

"So, tell me... what is she like?"

"You mean Santana?" Brittany asked, her eyes immediately becoming more shiny at the thought.

Sarah nodded, smiling interestedly.

"Well, she's the most awesomest girl at school. She's my best friend in the whole world. Everyone thinks she's a bitch, but I know she's not. She's kind and loving, and she'd do just about anything for the people she loves."

"Do you know how she met Stacey?" Sarah then wanted to know, trying to sound casual but avoiding the blonde's gaze.

"I think they're having some classes together" the blonde started explaining. "I guess Stacey had to repeat a year since she was gone so long, but I have no idea why, it must be some dark secret."

Sarah looked down on her hands, nervously peeling off her nail polish.

"And... how serious have they been?" she managed to ask, her voice almost shy and insecure.

"Definitely too serious for _my_ taste" Brittany replied, smiling a little. Sarah didn't ask any further questions, having a pretty good idea what the blonde was hinting at.

"So..how come we never even met before?" the dancer asked curiously, switching through her Rock playlist.

"I used to go to another school" Sarah explained. "In Pittsburgh. It was a boarding school."

"Why did you leave there?" Brittany wanted to know, eyeing the pretty brunette.

"Well, I recently turned 18. I never even wanted to be there, my parents made me go. And well, I figured I could take matters into my own hands now - so I left. Just signed out of there. They don't even know it yet." It seemed like there was some bitterness in the small girl's voice.

"Wow, okay. Don't you think they will be like.. _super_ pissed when they find out?"

"I'm not planning to talk to them again in the near future" Sarah just stated, looking serious.

Brittany didn't quite know what to reply and started chewing on her bottom lip.

"Why are you helping me, Sarah?" she then asked, her voice a little insecure.

The brunette smiled a little. "I'm helping you because I know how it is to be in love and what happens if you don't fight for it."

"So..are u gay?" the blonde asked a little hesitantly.

Sarah took a deep breath. "Yeah... yes, I'm gay."

"Cool!" Brittany exclaimed in her typical cheerful manner. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No..." Sarah sighed. "I let her go. It was the most stupid thing I've ever done."

"Have you told her that?" the blonde simply asked.

"No." Even Brittany didn't miss the sad mood that was starting to reflect on the other girl's face.

"You should!"

"I want to" Sarah admitted truthfully.

"I'd be happy to help you too, if you need me" the blonde offered, smiling brightly.

Sarah just laughed, brushing some of her curls behind her ear.

"You already help me more than you can imagine."

xxxxxxxxxx

When Brittany and Sarah came out of their little secret practice room, no one else than Santana Lopez herself was standing across the hallway. The Latina was surprised to see the blonde with a strange girl and came a little closer to have a better look at them. They were talking, laughing even.

Her gaze was resting on the unknown girl. She looked so... _perfect._ Her long brown hair was curly like angel's hair, her highlights so perfectly colored. Her skin was tanned, yet there were some freckles on her small nose that added just the right amount of cuteness to her flawless outward appearance. To top it off, the girl was wearing a colorful summerdress with flowers on it that revealed - and _highlighted_ - quite a lot of her tiny but well shaped body.

And they were still laughing. And now _hugging._ Jealousy was flickering through Santana.

Before any of the girls could see her, Santana decided to hide behind the nearest corner, still hearing the two ladies say good bye to each other.

"Thank you so, _so _much again. It's gonna be just awesome" Brittany had said, and before the latina had a chance to wonder what they were talking about, the blonde dancer already ran right into her.

"San!" she exclaimed surprised, looking as if she'd been caught in the act.

"Who was that?" Santana asked straight-forward, surprised by her own reaction.

"No one?" Brittany replied questioningly, nervously looking around.

"What were you doing with _no one_ alone in the room?" Santana just couldn't stop the suspicious tone.

"Nothing?" the blonde asked again, hoping someone would come and save her, lying r_eally _wasn't her strongest suit.

"So you were doing _nothing_ with _no one_.. I see.." the Latina concluded, annoyed by her own jealousy but not able to hide it.

"Are you mad?" Brittany whispered, entirely insecure now.

"Mad? Tse. No. You can do whatever you like, it's not like we're dating or something."

"No, it's not" the blonde replied sadly.

The silence that followed felt like torture.

"She's just a friend.." she then tried to explain as honestly as possible without giving anything away. "And she's helping me with something."

"With what?"

_'Oh can't you just stop asking?' _the blonde thought, getting really nervous.

"Uh..homework" Brittany stuttered. "A presentation." She mentally petted her own shoulder for this really great excuse.

"Since when do you care about such stuff?" Santana asked frowning, not sure if her friend seemed believable.

"It's a very important presentation. It really means a lot to me. And it needs to be 100% perfect."

Santana had to admit that the blonde sounded pretty sincere by now.

"Okay.. so did you get done with it? When do you have to present it?"

"In a few days... and I'm super nervous...I can't screw this up" Brittany admitted, not needing to lie.

The Latina felt sorry for the cute girl in front of her. Partly for not believing her at first, partly because she knew how much Brittany hated talking in front of other people during class since everyone teased her for being stupid.

"I'm sure it will be okay" she said, trying to sound as encouraging as possible.

"It has to be" the dancer replied, wishing more than anything that Santana was right.

xxxxxxxxx

TBC

**A/N: Okay, so I'm guessing I'll have this fic finished by the end of season 2. Depending on how the finale will go for Brittana, I'll think about either writing a new story or maybe adding a sequel to this one ;)**

**Thanks a lot again to all the kind reviewers, you guys are the best! =)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I didn't have much time to write lately, so this is coming a little later than usual. It took me quite a few hours to get it done, but I hope it turned out okay.**

**I guess there will be just about 1 - 2 chapters to go after this one, so yes, we're slowly getting there ;)**

**Please let me know what you think!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Chapter 13**

"So, tonight's Brit's big night..."

Stacey dropped her fork at hearing those words out of Tina's mouth who was sitting at the table behind her, talking to her boyfriend.

The blonde was hiding under her grey hoodie, eating by herself as she'd been doing quite often lately. Big night? It could mean anything, but somehow her gut feeling told her that the Asian girl might be referring to something that meant nothing good for her relationship with Santana. She tried to attract as less attention as possible when she slowly slid backwards with her chair in order to overhear their conversation a little better.

"She's a total mess already, I've seen her this morning" Mike replied, laughing a little. "Though I think she has nothing to worry about."

"It's good she added that last part, it's cheesy but really cute" Tina went on. "Finally a relationship I'm actually supporting since I won't be having to worry about her hooking up with any of my boyfriends anymore."

"Oh c'mon, like you ever had to worry about that with me", Mike pouted and Stacey felt herself get extremely tensed.

"I know, I know" Tina admitted, "but after the whole thing with Artie I _did _get a little jealous when you two had so much dancing practice together."

"Good thing I only want my cute and extremely pretty Asian girlfriend" Mike said grinning, leaning over the table to give Tina an affectionate kiss on her lips.

"So when does it even start tonight? And how is Santana going to be distracted? And are others allowed to watch as well?" he then wanted to know and Stacey's heart skipped a beat at the sound of the Latina's name - even though she had expected it.

"Well, Mercedes agreed to do the whole distracting part while we will help her with the rest that needs to be prepared... and it's supposed to start around seven or eight. But we will text her when she can bring her in, timing is everything" Tina explained, obviously quite involved into the whole thing that was supposed to go down that night.

"And for the watching part... I figure you can watch from backstage, but let's face it, Santana will be overwhelmed enough, she doesn't need to actually have others standing around her to make her more nervous."

Backstage? Though they hadn't mentioned any particular location, Stacey figured it seemed quite likely they were talking about the auditorium. So Brittany was actually preparing something for Santana on a stage, and others were involved. Their whole damn Glee Club it seemed.

The blonde girl didn't quite now what she was feeling. Was it anger? Hopelessness? She didn't know if she rather wanted to punch Brittany for doing what she was about to do, or herself for having waited too long to really fight for the girl she wanted to be with.

And seriously, what was this? A fucking movie where people sing to others before they propose to them and then everyone applauds? Couldn't people just be together because they liked each other, not needing any sort of _show _to prove it? And since when did so many people even know about Santana being gay? She had certainly tried to keep it discrete these last couple of weeks, but all of a sudden people were acting all supportive? How could this all have happened so fast?

She felt something like panic come up inside of her and sweat build up on her forehead. She could not let this happen. She had come too far to let this be destroyed again.  
>She was going to be at this auditorium before Santna could go in, and she would tell her how she felt. She would not go down without a fight.<p>

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where are you taking me, Mercedes?" Santana asked a little annoyed, not really understanding the other girl's enthusiasm about spending the afternoon together.

"You are the only fashion icon I know, and I really need your advice" she replied, dragging the Latina into the subway that was going downtown.

"And why are we taking the goddamn _sub_? Why couldn't we just take the car, I could have asked my dad if - "

"Because we wanna save the environment!" Mercedes just interrupted Santana. They had in fact taken the subway because this way she could be sure the Latina might not suddenly decide she'd rather want to leave and drive away without her. And because it would take much longer to get from A to B, it was going to save them some time if she really wanted to keep the other girl busy until tonight.

Santana was rolling her eyes, not really knowing why she had agreed to all this in the first place.

"And who is this weird mystery guy that you're dating and who you wanna dress up for?" she then asked with a disgusted look on her face. She wasn't sure what was worse, having to sit down on one of these old red fuzzy seats that looked as if someone had already puked on them, or having to remain standing and support herself on those gluey straps and hand grips. She chose a seat, sitting at the very edge of it in order not to ruin her dress.

"I met him on the internet" Mercedes lied "so I have to look really pretty on our first date. I need to find the perfect outfit."

"And what's in it for me?" Santana wanted to know, making it clear that she could think of better ways to spend her time.

_'In it for you? Your girlcrush confessing her love to you...' _Mercedes had wanted to reply, but she chose to go with a different version.

"Can't you just once help out a friend without expecting anything in return?"

Santana sighed.

"I suppose I can..."

Mercedes had to grin one of her wide happy grins that revealed a lot of her perfect white teeth.

"Very good, you won't regret it. I might have a reward for you when we're done."

The Latina just frowned.

"I wanna see that..."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brittany was checking herself in the mirror and eyeing her outfit closely. Sarah appeared behind her and looked at the blonde's reflection in awe.

"You look perfect" she stated, letting her eyes travel down the dancer's perfect body. Her black outfit was stressing all of her advantages. Her pants were fitting tightly and her top's cleavage went all the way down to her navel, the skin between neck and belly button being covered in a soft, light grey see-through material. She was wearing black high heels and parts of her upper hair was held together in a small ponytail. The rest of her long blonde hair loosely hung down her shoulders, stressing her smokey-eyes makeup.

"All that's missing is a little bit of color" she added, taking a red lipstick out of her pocket.

"Look at me" she ordered, and Brittany turned around, facing the small brunette and swallowing hard.

"Don't be nervous" Sarah went on, taking off the lipstick's lid and carefully sliding the red color over the blonde's slightly shaking lips.

"I'm gonna screw it up" Brittany finally managed to say and Sarah was sure she could hear the blonde's heart beating in her chest.

"No, you're not. We're all here to support you." She pointed at the fitting room's door, hinting at all of Brittany's friends who were busy making soundchecks and installing wind- and fog machines. The blonde slowly nodded and Sarah took her hand in hers, squeezing it gently.

"Santana's gonna love it! Believe me! She loves you, and after _this_, she's gonna want you even more."

The door of the small room swung open and Kurt Hummel walked inside, his hand immediately cupping his mouth.

"Oh my god, Brittany, this is gonna be _outstanding_!" he exclaimed entirely chipper, clapping his hands and happily bouncing up and down.

"Kurt, you're here, too!" Brittany said smiling.

"Oh, I wouldn't wanna miss my friends' long overdue gay-reunion!" he replied laughing. "And may I just say - _you _my dear look amazing! I'm so proud of you!"

"I think I have to puke.." was all Brittany managed to say, having to sit down on the small leather couch.

"Oh no, you don't" Kurt replied, sitting down on the blonde's right. Sarah followed them and sat down left from Brittany, both of them letting their hands rest on the girl's legs. "There's no going back now."

Kurt's gaze finally traveled to Sarah and he realized the two of them hadn't been introduced.

"My name's Kurt by the way, I think we haven't met?" He reached out his hand over Brittany's lap to greet the pretty brunette.

"I'm Sarah" she replied friendly. "I just happened to be around when Brit needed my help."

She turned her gaze back to the blonde in their middle and stroked her leg in encouragement.

"What do you say, we go back inside and run through the mix one last time, repeat a few lines, see if the machines are working and if the lights are good and then wait for your girl?"

Brittany swallowed and nodded, carefully standing up and moving back on stage.

What - or rather _who_ she saw made her heart skip a beat. Stacey Claridge was standing in the auditorium's entrance door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay, enough now!" Santana said annoyed, stamping her foot. "If I have to see you in one more of these dresses, I'm gonna freak out. It's getting late, I'm tired, my feet are killing me from all the running around and my eyes hurt from all these weird _colors _you're wrapping your body in. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is on tonight and I don't wanna miss it, so get your stuff and take the goddamn black skirt and the green top as I told you three hours ago..."

She was grabbing Mercede's bags and dragging the heavily protesting girl out of the store in the direction of the subway station. Finally freeing herself from the Latina's grip, Mercede's voice became louder.

"No. Wait. We can't!"

"Why the hell not?" Santana yelled back, not understanding at all why the other girl would suddenly insist on spending so much time with her, it wasn't like they were such good friends.

"I..." Mercede's mind was working fast, nervously looking at her watch that was showing her it was almost seven. It couldn't take that much longer until she would receive that text. Could they please hurry?

"You..?" Santana repeated, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"I..."

Just when she was about to make up a new silly excuse about why she really needed them to go back to that one store from the beginning, her phone finally vibrated and the words '_Ready to rumble! xo' _appeared on her screen.

"I... think you're right and we should really get going!"

Santana let out a breath of relief. "_Finally."_

"But first we have to quickly stop at school!"

"Are you kidding me? No way!" Santana replied, shaking her head wildly. "Whatever it is you forgot there, you can pick it up tomorrow."

Mercedes sighed. Why had she agreed on taking care of the Latina, she should have known better.

"No, I can't. It's part of your reward and trust me, you might wanna get it tonight" she let out, being more honest than she had wanted but running out of lies.

"You're really weird today..." Santana remarked but decided she was too exhausted to argue more about it and just accept it for now. The faster they got to school, the faster she'd be home and have her quiet.

"Let's go then..."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stacey looked at the scenery in front of her and felt sick. The whole auditorium was decorated with disco balls and other cheesy accessories and people were busy running around, tuning their instruments.

Tina was the first one who spotted her.

"Um.. I think you can't be here" she stated a little insecure, causing other people to look over to her as well.

"Where's Brittany, I wanna talk to her" Stacey replied, trying to remain confident.

"Not a good idea right now" Rachel added, showing up next to Stacey with a serious expression on her face.

"I don't think this is any of your concern" the blonde replied annoyed, realizing that Brittany had just entered the stage. She took a step closer, feeling herself get tensed at the view of her opponent in this obviously seductive outfit.

"She's right" a voice suddenly remarked and Stacey felt her chest tighten. "You should probably leave."

A small brunette stepped on stage behind Brittany and was looking straight at her. Stacey couldn't breathe.

"You... what..." she stuttered, tears immediately welling up in her eyes. This had to be a fucking dream. She hadn't seen Sarah in months, how on earth could this be happening right now? What was she doing here? How did she know Brittany? How could she be involved in all this?

"You know her?" Rachel asked in disbelief, immediately picking up on the insane tension between the two girls.

Sarah took a step towards Brittany who was staring at the situation in shock, obviously having no idea how to put two and two together.

"Listen..." she whispered into the blonde's ear. "I'm gonna take care of this okay? I'll talk to Stacey somewhere and you, please, don't worry about anything, alright? You just focus on your performance, that's all you have to do and it's gonna be all fine okay? Don't let anything stress you or make you nervous."

She petted her back affectionately and then gave the nodding girl a brief hug before jumping down the stage and walking into Stacey's direction.

"Let's go next door..."

Stacey followed the petite brunette as if she was in trance, shutting the empty classroom's door behind them.

"I can explain..." Sarah started, sitting down on one of the tables.

"I don't believe this..." Stacey brought out. "I don't fucking believe this."

"I know - listen.. I'm sorry. I wanted to contact you, but-"

"But _what?" _the blonde yelled at her, her face turning red. "But you decided you rather manipulate my life by teaming up with my girlfriend's big love? Oh my god, I can't believe this! I fucking cannot believe this!"

"It's not like that..."

"Then what _is _it like Sarah, tell me, I'd really like to hear!"

Stacey didn't know if she'd ever felt so betrayed, so furious in her whole life. It was as if her heart was exploding, her head was spinning. She felt the urge to kick something, hard.

"Since when are you back? _Why _are you back? Gosh - _why_, tell me!"

Sarah swallowed hard and took a step towards the blonde.

"Don't _fucking_ come closer to me!"

"You should calm down, Stace" Sarah tried to convince the other girl, reaching for her hand. Stacey pushed it away forcefully.

"You have no idea what you did to me, have you?" Stacey managed to ask, tears running down her face. She didn't bother hiding them.

"I do.." the small girl admitted slowly. "And it's been hurting me every day."

Stacey chuckled.

"I'm sorry, but I find that very hard to believe."

"I've talked to Shonda" Sarah then started to explain in a very calm voice.

"You did _what?_" Stacey couldn't believe her ears. What did her mother have to do with all this all of a sudden?

"I dropped out of boarding school, Stace. I couldn't do it anymore. I had to think of you - _us - _every day, every minute. I packed my stuff and took the next train home and I didn't know what had happened to you, your old cell number didn't work anymore, so I called your mother. She had told me she just got back... she told me everything. I'm so fucking sorry."

Stacey just shook her head wildly, bringing her hands up to her head and massaging her temples, eyes closed.

"I was so stupid. I know that now. I was just so fucking terrified. You know how my parents are..."

"I don't wanna hear it okay? Just shut up and leave, leave and don't come back!" Stacey yelled crying.

Sarah wasn't about to give up, she had expected such a reaction all along.

"Stace..." she sighed. "I heard what you did.. or what you tried to do. And it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I feel so awful, and I know I'm responsible for all of this. I'm not here because I think you will forgive me right away, but I have to at least try to make things better. I can't live like this. I can't live with the thought of what I did to you."

She tried to reach for the blonde's hands again who was shaking and sobbing hard by now.

"You said you hated me..." she managed to bring out, barely understandable for the other girl.

"You never fucking called me again.. you said you loved me and then you just fucking spit on me, you know that? You spit on everything we had built up like it meant no goddamn shit to you, you're such a fuckup, Sarah!"

Sarah's eyes were tearing up as well now, still she tried to remain strong in order to keep this conversation alive.

"I know.. I know all this, okay? I was a coward! My parents.. I don't know... they had such huge influence on me, and I was too weak to do anything about it. They kept telling me how I was too _female _to be a lesbian, how you had brainwashed me, how I was going to hell for doing what I did."

Stacey snorted in disgust.

"I went to this school, seriously trying to force myself to become different. But I'm not different, Stace. I'm just like you, and I don't wanna hide it anymore. I'm gay and I'm more than willing to live with it.."

"Good for you.." the blonde replied ironically, looking on the floor. Her tears were dripping down her face onto her sweater, leaving wet trails.

"My parents don't even know I dropped out. I've saved all the money they've been sending me these past months and I'm staying in a small hotel room outside of town. I wanted to talk to you directly, but your mom told me you were seeing this new girl... I... " she swallowed.

"I'm not here to ruin what you build up with someone else, but I'm also not willing to give you up just yet. Yes, I actually helped Brittany to prepare something for Santana, I am messed up like this, I felt the need to have you for myself and I know very well that this is beyond screwed up. But you have to believe me, I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life - I'm willing to give up all so you can forgive me..."

The tears were streaming down her face just as fast as Stacey's and the two girls just stared at each other.

"I can't trust you anymore, Sarah. Not after all this... All I see is the same girl who once promised me she loves me and then turned her back on me and ran away. The girl in her nice conservative summer dress with her long brown prefect curls, ready to go to church and arrange fake dates with random altar boys..."

Sarah looked hurt and sad, making a fist. Breathing heavily she got up and walked over to the cupboard, taking a huge pair of scissors out of a box.

Stacey's eyes were widening in shock.

"What the heck are you doing?"

The brunette girl didn't answer and just raised the scissors to her neck and spread them. It felt like slow motion.

"Sarah, what are you - "

Before she could finish her sentence, Sarah had grabbed her long brown hair and cut right through it. Thick long strands were falling to the floor and landing right next to her feet. Stacey's mouth fell open.

"I don't care _what _it takes so you will believe me. I just don't care."

She took another fist full of hair and cut it, her head becoming a total mess of long and short brown strands, chaotically falling in all directions.

"I'm not perfect anymore, I never was" she brought out, her lips shaking.

Stacey stared at the brown curls on the floor, wiping away her tears. She heard a loud bass sound coming from the auditorium and she knew the show had begun. She knew she was losing Santana. Her gaze fell back to Sarah's face, flushed cheeks, ruined makeup, strands of cut hair glued to her skin, wet from all the tears.

She felt her heart break.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Just go inside!" Mercedes said, giving the Latina an encouraging clap on her back.

"If this is some kind of weird joke, you and I will have a serious problem..." Santana replied in a huffy voice, yet not able to hide her insecurity.

"Yeah, well, we can talk about that later" the other girl replied twinkling, walking away and just leaving Santana alone in front of the heavy door of the auditorium.

She slowly pushed it open and frowned. The hall was completely dark.

"Um.. okay.. what the fuck is going on.." she whispered, feeling fooled.

Just when she was about to walk out again and tell Mercedes she could go to hell for making fun of her, she heard the sound of a guitar.

She didn't see who was playing it but she felt her heart beat faster and listened to the quite beautiful melody that was echoing back from the high walls of the auditorium.

Suddenly a voice accompanied the instrument and the Latina felt her blood quickly rush into her head.

_"C'mon in, cause I got second thoughts _

_This evening, it's just made for us_

_Lights are low _

_Tension's gone _

_I think it's time _

_We just get it on"_

A single spotlight turned on and illuminated a beautiful blonde girl who was sitting on stage. The light hit a little disco ball above her and it seemed like little sparkles were dancing over the floor around Brittany.

_"C'mon in, cause I got second thoughts _

_I'm tired of whining, I know it'll work for us_

_Lights are low _

_Tension's gone _

_I think it's time _

_We just get it on"_

Brittany looked shy, her voice a bit shaky but perfectly fitting the sounds of the invisible guitar. Their eyes met and Santana could swear the blonde's were so full of emotion, she had never seen such an expression on her face ever before.

_"It's been hurting all the way with you, Santana_

_We've been through all this before and I can't take this no more, no more, no more.."_

Santana stepped closer, sitting down on a red armchair right in front the stage that had obviously been put there for her. Her heart was hammering in her chest, still she felt entirely mesmerized. She knew Brittany so well, and she could see the blonde was scared as hell, vulnerable even. Her singing may not have been perfect, but it was certainly perfect for her. And damn, what outfit was that?

_"I know that we're supposed to have all these problems, right? _

_But tell me why can't we just sort them all out tonight?_

_Lights are low _

_Tension's gone _

_And I think it's time _

_We just get it on"_

Brittany still hadn't moved, she was just sitting there and trying to put all her emotions into the lyrics, making sure Santana would understand their meaning.

_"It's been hurting all the way with you, Santana_

_We've been through all this before and I can't take this no more, no more, no more.."_

She slowly got up and turned around, the guitar still playing. Brittany looked down and waited for the outro to be over. When Puck had finished the last few sounds, the stage turned dark again.

Santana didn't know what to do at first, but she didn't have to wait long until suddenly an extremely powerfull bass sound echoed through the hall. The spotlight turned on again and the Latina found herself looking at Brittany's back, who slowly let the grey coat she'd been wearing slip down her shoulders and onto the floor.

Santana let out a small gasp at the view in front of her, the tight black pants, her top, her hair, her _heels_. The music was loud and the Latina recognized the song. Blue and red lights were starting to illuminate the room.

With a barely audible _woosh_, white fog was flowing over the floor of the stage, snaking around the blonde's legs who slowly started moving her hips. Then there was her voice again, sounding much more confident than before, raspy even.

_"Ooh, I can't wait to get next to you _

_Ooh, I just can't leave you alone _

_Girl you got me doin' things that I would never do _

_And I can't stop the way I'm feelin' if I wanted to _

_I'm crazy bout the way that you could make me say your name _

_And if I couldn't have you I would probably go insane 'cause"_

She turned around now to face Santana again and sang the lyrics right to her. The rhythm of the song wasn't too fast, but certainly fast enough to prove what a fabulous dancer the blonde was.

Her perfectly choreographed moves went smoothly with the loud bass, her eyes never leaving Santana's.

The brunette wondered how Brittany managed to move like this in such shoes but she didn't mind, enjoying how long and well trained her legs looked when her feet seemed to be flying over the wooden stage floor.

_"Only you can make me feel_

_And only you can take me there_

_And only you can make me feel_

_And only you can take me there"_

Whenever she pronounced the word _feel, _her hands were seductively moving over her own body, her desire for Santana clearly mirroring in her eyes. The wind machine in front of her blew her blonde hair softly behind her shoulders.

The Latina felt excited, loved, turned on - it was an excruiciatingly pleasant mix.

_"Ooh, I can't wait to get next to you _

_Ooh, I just can't leave you alone _

_Girl you stay inside my mind ain't no denyin' that _

_And only you could do them things that got me comin' back _

_You gotta be the realest thing that I have ever felt _

_And I'll do what I gotta do to keep you to myself"_

Brittany had come closer for the last line and she sang it so sincere, so pronounced, there was no doubt she was ever gonna let anyone else have Santana.

_"Crazy 'bout the way _

_You make me feel _

_I just gotta have you here _

_And I won't let you go _

_I won't ever let you go"_

With the last loud bass of the song, Brittany was on the floor, her eyes fixed on the ground and her hair falling in front of her face.

Santana felt the urge to applaude, still she felt paralyzed and intrigued by what was happening in front of her eyes.

Then there was music again. A piano and other instruments joining.

More disco balls illuminated the stage and the rest of the auditorium. Santana looked down her body and saw the small lights dancing on her own shirt and she felt a happy tickle inside her belly. This was also a song she recognized all too well.

_"There's always that one person that will always have your heart _

_You never see it coming cause you're blinded from the start _

_Know that you're that one for me it's clear for everywone to see _

_Ooh baby, you will always be my boo"_

Santana had to smile and a small tear was rolling down her cheek. The song would forever remind her of Brittany, how they listened to it when they were thirteen. That one night they had spend together in a tent on the beach, with this old ghettoblaster standing next to them. They were on vacation with Brittany's parents and they had asked if they could camp for a night instead of sleeping with the whole family in the beachhouse. It had been one of her happiest nights. It had been a night where she knew she'd want to be with Brittany, kiss her for more than only practicing.

_"Do you remember girl I was the one who gave you your first kiss _

_Cause I remember girl I was the one who said 'put your lips like this'_

_Even before all the fame and people screaming your name _

_Girl I was there and you were my baby"_

The blonde was moving beautifully, seeming to have so much power and control over her body. The words escaping Brittany's lips were so true and sent shivers down the Latina's spine. Even before all the meaningless guys who had been screaming her name in bed, the blonde had been there. She'd been there for their first kiss, for the first time she felt loved, it was all that had mattered lateron, all that seemed to make sense in her whole youth.

Suddenly Tina and Mercedes were entering the stage, remaining a little further away in the back behind two microphones.

The perfect backround singers that they were, they were flipping their thumbs to the rhythm of the song, smiling and obviously enjoying Brittany's performance, occasionally adding their _my boo_. At first Santana felt a little ashamed, being able to put a face to those people who were obviously involved in the background, but her insecurities were gone quite fast. Brittany had been doing this for her, and people were willing to help and support her. They were wanting them together.

_"It started when we were younger you were mine_

_Now another girl had taken over but it's still in your eyes_

_Even though we used to argue it's alright_

_I know we haven't seen each other in a while _

_But you will always be my boo"_

The Latina was smiling, even though tears were trailing wet pathes down her face. She felt the need to run on stage and just kiss this beautiful singing mouth.

_"I was in love with you when we were younger, you were mine _

_You can see it no matter how I try to hide _

_And even though there were others in my life_

_You will always be my boo_

_Yes I remember girl, the moment I knew _

_You were the one I could spend my life with _

_Even before all the fame and people screaming your name _

_I was there and you were my baby"_

The song seemed to be ending, but it was fading into another one. More people came on stage, Kurt, Rachel - even Quinn was there.

They were forming a little choire with Tina and Mercedes, all of them humming along the melody.

Santana felt herself become even more nervous, somehow sensing that the performance was leading towards its quite emotional final. What was about to happen when it was over? What was she supposed to do?

_"My whole life waiting for the right time _

_To tell you how I feel _

_And though I tried to tell you that I need you _

_Here I am without you _

_I feel so lost but what can I do? _

_'Cause I know this love seems real _

_But I don't know how to feel"_

Santana had chills all over her body and she saw Brittany tear up. She had never seen the blonde dancer get so emotional over a singing performance. Usually it was all casual fun for her, using music and songlyrics as a way of truly expressing her feelings obviously overwhelming her.

_"Alright, everything is alright _

_Since you came along _

_And before you _

_I had nowhere to run to _

_Nothing to hold on to _

_I came so close to giving it up _

_And I wonder if you know _

_How it feels to let you go?"_

The choire had started singing the chorus of the song and Brittany stepped down the stairs of the stage for the very first time. The music was still loud, filling the whole room, the lighting, the little bit of fog, it was perfect.

Brittany reached out to take Santana's hand and the brunette took it, smiling at the girl in front of her with all she had. The blonde lead her up the stage.

_"We say goodbye in the pouring rain _

_And I break down as you walk away _

_Stay_

_'Cause all my life I've felt this way _

_But I could never find the words to say _

_Stay"_

Rachel and Quinn were looking at each other, and also Kurt and Mercedes had to smile while the boy wiped one tear out of the corner of his eye. It was too damn romantic for him to take.

They had stopped singing by now, so that only Brittany's voice and the sounds of Brad's piano were left to be heard.

Brittany squeezed Santana's hand tightly.

_"So you change your mind _

_And say you're mine _

_Don't leave tonight _

_Stay."_

The piano kept playing and Brittany looked at Santana expectantly.

"Will you...? Stay, I mean?" she asked shyly, feeling her pulse not only in her chest but also in her wrists and temples.

The Latina laughed, wiping away a tear.

"Who could say no to _that_" she replied, pointing up and down the blonde's gorgeous outfit.

Her hand wandered up to the blonde's cheek and they looked at each other for a moment.

Then Santana got up on her tiptoes - these heels were making Brittany even taller than she already was - and just kissed her. Even though they weren't alone, it felt like they were the only two people left, as if everything around them turned blurry. It felt like another first kiss. More final. Not like any kiss they had experienced before. More real.

"I love you" she whispered against the blonde's lips.

Brittany's heart did a happy dance in her chest.

"Can we get out of here now, please?" the blonde wanted to know, resting her forehead against the Latina's.

"Wherever you wanna go."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Next to last chapter, wohoo! **

**Reviews are - as always - less than three :P**

**xxxxx**

**Chapter 14**

"You ruined your hair..." Stacey stated after what felt like eternal silence between them.

"Why did you do that?"

"You know why..." Sarah replied, sighing and touching what was still left of her brown curls.

None of them quite knew what to do, both slowly recovering from their emotional overflow and returning to reality.

The auditorium had turned quiet by now and the silence in the classroom felt much louder than the previous sound of bass and instruments. Stacey sat down next to Sarah on a table, looking down on her own shoes and planning her next move.

"You shouldn't be staying in a hotel.." she then said, her voice still serious but mixed with a bit of sincere concern.

Sarah shrugged.

"It's alright. There are some weird spots on the sheets and I don't wanna know where they're coming from, but apart from that it's really bearable."

The blonde knew this scenario was usually not acceptable for the other girl at all. Hygiene, tidiness - all very important qualities for Sarah.

"Are you sure you don't wanna try to talk to your parents again?" Stacey asked carefully.

"We both know how this would turn out, Stace. I'm through with it, believe me, there's nothing that would possibly change the way they see the world. I've learned to accept it, cause honestly? I don't know I wanna be related to such people..."

Disgust was reflecting on her features and the blonde knew that what seemed to be pure hatred in Sarah's voice rather came from a place inside of her that was deeply hurt. She knew this feeling too well.

"They're your family after all.. I know you love them."

She looked the brunette in the eyes again for the first time and though she knew she was about to touch dangerous ground, she had to bring up the topic.

"And what about Chloe? She's still so young and won't understand why her sister doesn't wanna be in her life anymore... you could at least make sure she grows up with a different opinion..."

Sarah stared back at Stacey with her big brown eyes. She knew the girl was right, still she wasn't ready to face all this just yet.

"Maybe someday. That's all I can say for now."

The blonde just nodded slowly, beginning to understand that the girl was being serious with the whole situation. She didn't know if she'd ever seen her so sure about anything before, so determined when it came to personal decisions.

"Let's go." Stacey suddenly stated and jumped off the table.

"Go? Where?"

A really small but at least honest smile showed up on the blonde's lips.

"To get your stuff of course. We have at least five rooms at home that no one really needs. C'mon."

xxxx

They were basically running along the hallway, not letting go of each other's hands, when they realized there was no bus or other vehicle going to drive them home right now.

"I'll call us a cab, okay?" Santana asked, already impatiently fumbling for her phone.

Brittany nodded, smiling.

"Where do you wanna go?"

The Latina thought about it for a moment.

"Um, would your place be okay?"

"Yes, of course" the blonde agreed, having a vague idea why the other girl preferred not running into her parents right now.

When the taxi arrived, they both jumped into the backseat. Santana just quickly mumbled the adress before turning to the girl next to her and dragging her in for a kiss. It was dark by now and she felt more excited than ever about having some privacy with Brittany.

The Indian taxi driver looked into his rearview mirror, frowning at the sight of the two young girls who were obviously not able to keep their hands off of each other.

_'Kids these days..' _he thought, trying to force his gaze on the road in front of him.

Breaking their kiss, Santana's hand wandered to Brittany's chin, softly brushing a thumb along the sensitive skin of her face.

"I never wanted you as much as I do right now" she whispered honestly.

The blonde felt her heart beat faster and turned to look at the driver.

"My grandma's driving faster than you, and she has a wooden leg!"

The man cleared his throat and chose not to reply to this remark, still his foot pushed the gas pedal a little harder in order to get out of this awkward situation as quickly as possible.

Santana's mouth was on Brittany's neck, inhaling her sweet smell. She couldn't believe how lucky she felt in this moment, the intense tickling in her belly from the insane anticipation, it was driving her crazy.

"Where did you get this outfit?" she mumbled into her shoulder, trying her best not to let her hands run along the blonde's body, at least not until they'd be behind closed doors.

"I have my sources.." Brittany purred, her eyes falling shut at the feel of Santana's tongue shortly brushing her collarbone. When were they finally there?

As the car entered the Pierce's gateway, Santana just grabbed her purse and threw far too many dollar bills at the driver's lap without even counting them.

"Keep the rest!" she shouted, dragging Brittany out of the car and smashing the door shut behind them.

Hands still entwined they jumped up the stairs to the blonde's room. Brittany spotted Lord Tubbington half asleep on her bed and just gave him a serious look before grabbing him and carrying him outside.

"I know you're missing Lady McChubby since she broke up with you and you really wanna get your kitty-cuddle on, but I'm afraid you have to leave now, this is about to get really private."

She turned the key in her lock twice and let out a relieved sigh.

"Finally" she said, looking at Santana, smiling.

"Finally" the brunette replied before taking a step closer towards the girl in front of her.

"Is it weird that I'm so nervous?" she then asked, a shy expression on her face.

Brittany just shook her head before kicking off her heels into the corner of the room.

The first time their lips touched again it was very soft and Santana couldn't help but feel like she had never done this with Brittany before. She knew it had an entirely different meaning now, after all their emotions were out in the open, and it was scary.

The blonde took Santana's hand into her own and guided it up to her lips to gently kiss her fingers. Then she let both their hands travel accross her breasts to the zipper on the left of her tight shirt. The Latina understood the hint and slowly opened it, her hands shaking a little. Brittany gave the girl in front of her a loving smile before she raised her arms so that Santana was able to pull the black material over the blonde's head.

The instant the top had hit the ground with a small thud, Brittany's lips were on Santana's again, far more passionately than only minutes ago. She pushed the Latina backwards until her knees were hitting the edge of her bed. Santana fell backwards and landed in a big pile of extremely soft pillows, all of them smelling fresh and fruity, like the blonde herself.

Brittany straddled Santana's lap and attacked her mouth hungrily while slowly pushing the Latina's dress up her thighs who couldn't help but notice how different this kind of making out was compared to their usual nights together. Sure, it had been passionate before, still it had mostly felt like a habit that none of them knew how to deal with. It had been something they both wanted but never talked about, something that was indeed a very satisfying physical act, but also something that allowed no analyzing, something that would almost be denied.

What was happening now left no room for any further denial, they both knew this. There was no way that anyone of them would be able to see this night as any less than it really was.

"Let's get you out of this.." Brittany whispered into Santana's ear who was moving her hands up and down the curve of the blonde's ass, still covered in these insanely tight pants.

She nodded and sat up a little so the other girl was able to slowly open up the entirely buttoned dress. When she had finally managed to undo all of the small buttons, she just gave the latina a cheeky look. "The next time you decide to wear that thing, expect me to just rip it open"

Santana had to laugh and nodded.

"Alright."

Their lips crashed against each other once more and the Latina loved the feel of Brittany's tongue entering her, it felt so... _demanding_. The blonde nibbled, sucked on Santana's lower lip, sometimes soft, sometimes harder - it made her whimper. One of her hands was in the brunette's hair, grabbing it, dragging her closer, caressing her neck. The other hand practically groped one of her breasts, pinching a nipple through the material of her bra.

Santana knew Brittany enjoyed taking the lead in bed from time to time, but her actions said more this night. They were saying _now you're finally mine_ and it seemed like she was able to let herself go for the very first time, finally sure that the Latina really wanted what she was doing to her. That she wanted it with _her _and no other person on this goddamn planet.

Slowly growing impatient, the blonde maneuvered herself out of her pants so they were both wearing nothing but their underwear. Their bodies started moving against each other and the feel of hot skin against skin was familiar but also so intoxicating.

Santana's knee moved a little upwards so it was creating friction between Brittany's legs , her eyes fell shut and she had to let out a small moan. She tried her best not to start grinding against the brunette's leg, wanting this to take as long as even possible.

Her hands were on both of Santana's breasts now, massaging them and slowly pushing the bra's material aside. Her mouth was trailing wet kisses along the Latina's neck, traveling lower to her chest.

"Get up" she ordered softly, embracing her petite body so she was able to unclasp her bra and carelessly throw it aside. She pushed her back onto the mattress and her lips quickly moved to Santana's nipples, teasing them, licking them, sucking them, one after the other.

"Gosh, Brit..." Santana sighed, pressing her eyes firmly shut to enjoy the intense feeling. She felt herself become extremely wet, snaking her legs around the blonde's lower body and pushing her hips upwards in order to create some pressure at the spot where she needed her most.

Brittany's eyes moved upwards so she could see the brunette's face while her mouth was still caressing her breasts. She loved the image in front of her, she just _loved_ being able to have this kind of effect on the other girl.

She let her hands run up the sides of Santana's body, softly brushing her fingernails along the brunette's hips and ribs, causing her to shiver. Crawling slowly back up her body, she softly brushed brown strands of hair out of her face, tracing a finger along her flushed cheeks and placing a kiss on the top of her nose.

"I love you" she whispered - and gosh, how much Santana loved her back.

"I love you, too" she replied honestly, feeling her heart beat faster in her chest. "And I want you so fucking much."

Brittany smiled at her and didn't need any more encouragement. Quickly she was down between Santana's legs and carefully dragged her panties down her legs, tossing them aside, probably somewhere near her bra. She kissed her way down to the brunette's belly button and let her tongue play with it for a moment before traveling even further. She started kissing the inside of her thighs, smelling and even seeing already what an effect she was having on the other girl.

At first it was her thumb that touched Santana's clit, slowly but already with enough pressure to let the Latina think she could see stars. Then her tongue followed and Santana was sure she might lose it just then.

"Oh fuck.." she mumbled, her hand wandering to Brittany's head and grabbing a fistful of hair, the other one burried in the sheets.

Hands were caressing her legs, lovingly stroking her sensitive skin while Brittany's tongue kept running along her center, accompanied by an occasional _'mmmhh_' that left no doubt she was enjoying this just as mucg as the Latina herself.

Santana felt herself get closer to the edge.

"Hey, Brit?" she managed to bring out, using all her willpower not to just let it happen.

A blonde head looked up to her questioningly, her cheeks rosy, her lips so wet.

"I... I want that... we do this together..."

Brittany smiled and nodded, crawling up the brunette's body again and Santana was glad she understood without any further explanation.

Finally having removed her own bra and panties, the blonde pressed her naked body against the olive skin underneath her and Santana raised her head for another kiss, tasting herself on the other girl's lips. Her hand moved between their bodies and she could finally touch her - god, Brittany seemed to be needing this just as much as herself.

The blonde took a deep breath, letting her forehead rest against Santana's. Supporting herself with one hand on the left of the Latina's body, her other hand traveled back to the other girl's clit and they started rubbing each other simultaneously, both being completely lost in their motions.

Their breathing became heavier, their movements more frantic. Then Brittany entered two fingers, causing Santana to gasp and bite the blonde's shoulder. She mimiced the other girl's actions and soon they were both panting against each other, skin becoming sweaty.

"It's always been you" Santana suddenly whispered and Brittany thought she might come just by hearing these words, just by getting this confirmation she had needed so badly in their long relationship together.

She pressed her lips on the Latina's once more, putting as much emotion into the kiss as possible, not being able to form a coherent sentence anymore.

After a few more strokes of Santana's thumb against her clit, she finally felt her whole body tense and hot waves run through every single bone and muscle. She wasn't sure she had ever come that way with anyone before, it felt like this was the way it's supposed to be when you did it _right_.

She didn't allow herself to become weak and go limp on Santana's body, so she kept her strength and added another finger, rubbing her until the Latina finally followed her over the edge, muffling her scream with another kiss so it wouldn't wake other people in the house.

Exhausted she collapsed on the petite brunette underneath her, closing her eyes and hearing nothing but her own heartbeat, feeling nothing but skin and the Latina's arms that were protectively embracing her and stroking her back.

They were laying like this in quiet for many moments, both of them simply enjoying the thought and feel of what had just happened.

"You were right..." Santana broke the silence after a while, stroking the blonde's head that was lying on her chest by now, twirling soft golden curls around her finger.

"Hmm?" Brittany replied sleepily while toying with the Latina's belly button.

"With feelings it's better.."

xxxxxxx

Stacey was helping Sarah carrying her suitcases up to the Claridge's porch. Before the blonde had the chance to fumble for her keys, the door already swung open and Shonda was staring at the girls, a grin on her face.

"Come in!" she greeted them, taking pillows and bags out of Sarah's hands and carrying them inside.

"New haircut?" she shouted over her shoulder, heading up the stairs in the direction of their guestroom.

Sarah and Stacey just looked at each other with raised eyebrows, shaking their head at the fact that the older woman seemed not at all surprised to find her daughter's ex-girlfriend with all of her belongings at their doorstep.

"Uh..." Stacey started, having trouble to follow her mother's fast steps.

"I thought Sarah could maybe stay with us for a while until she figures out what to do next, since paying for a hotel gets quite expensive after a few weeks..."

"Sure, honey."

With that the topic seemed to be discussed for Shonda. This was easier than expected.

The blonde woman in her red mini skirt guided Sarah into her new room, quickly opened the windows to bring in some fresh air and fumbled for some clean sheets in the drawer.

"Make yourself at home" she offered friendly, showing the small brunette the empty closet where she could put all of her clothes.

"I guess you still remember where the bathrooms are?" Without waiting for an answer she continued "I had no time to do proper grocery shopping, but there are still some fruits and bread and milk in the fridge, I'm sure you're hungry - you look so s_kinny_."

Sarah just mumbled a confused "Thanks, Misses Claridge, I don't know how to..-"

"Call me Shonda" the woman interrupted her friendly, dragging the surprised girl in for an enthusiastic hug.

Stacey couldn't help but laugh despite herself. In between all the crap she'd been going through these days, who would have thought that - of all things - her mother would be the one giving her a comfortable feeling again. She really seemed to be trying her best to make clear she was supporting her daughter's lovelife.

"I'll leave you two alone now, I'm sure you have a lot of catching up to do."

Before she left the room she turned around once more to touch Sarah's messed up hair.

"Honey, I don't mean to be harsh, but your hairdresser did no good job with this. I'll help you with that in the morning"

With that she was out of the room and left Stacey and Sarah standing awkwardly next to each other.

The brunette let out a small laugh, putting one of her begs onto the quite comfortable looking bed.

"So... think we should call it a day?" she asked friendly, nervously scratching the back of her head.

"I guess, yes" Stacey replied, eyeing the girl closely, still confused about what she felt, still not believing this person was actually standing inside her house. It all happened so fast. She wondered what Santana was doing right now but she figured she already knew the answer.

"Good night then, okay?"

"Yes" Sarah just answered. "And thank you. I mean.. really."

Stacey nodded and left the guest room, carefully closing the door behind her.

At this point she didn't know yet that after two or three sleepless hours she'd find herself knocking at the door of that same room again.

xxxxxxx

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Lazily shifting in bed, Stacey pulls the blanket closer to herself. Her eyes feel tired and she's wondering what time it is, carefully searching for her radio alarm clock on her nightstand. Groping around in the air on the left side of her bed, she finds that her nightstand is not where it's supposed to be, so she tries to open her eyes a little more, sleepily adjusting to the first rays of sunlight that had started to illuminate the room. When she feels a figure next to her move, the events of the past night slowly get back to her and she turns around, more or less shocked.

The said figure is in fact naked. And slightly snoring.

The girl with the messy hair opens her eyes in slow-motion and immediately smiles at her.

"Hey" she whispers friendly.

"Hey" Stacey replies, her voice still a little hoarse.

Without any more conversation, Sarah snuggles closer to Stacey, crawling underneath the blanket that the blonde had obviously stolen from her to have it all to herself.

"Want me to freeze? I'm not exactly wearing that much..." she mumbles, kissing the skin underneath Stacey's chin and closing her eyes again with a content sigh.

It all feels so foreign and yet so damn familiar.

Stacey wonders if this is all a bad idea, too much happening too soon again, but somehow she has to admit it feels too right to be wrong. Hugging the petite brunette more closely, she lets her head rest on soft hair and enjoys the moment a little bit longer before dozing off again herself.

xxxxxxxx

The moment Santana's eyes open, the Latina feels wide awake. Even though her whole body tells her she's completely exhausted, her senses are right there with her, excitement filling her belly. Brittany is still there, she hasn't gone anywhere. She's still hers. Still the same beautiful girl who made love to her for so many hours in the past night that Santana had lost all track of time.

They hadn't been able to keep their hands off of each other, so every single time when they had decided to sleep and told each other good night, one of them had started again - the kissing, the touching, the stroking... it had been a vicious circle. Oh and what a pleasent vicious circle it was.

Only when both their bodies had come to the point that some people might consider numb, they had decided to call it a day and finally slept away in each other's arms, a few early birds already chirping outside.

So, instead of turning around to get some more rest, Santana feels the strong urge to kiss the blonde again, to remind her they are still sharing the same bed. To reassure herself that this wasn't just a very nice dream. To use the chance that they finally got together and appreciate every minute of it.

She strokes blonde strands of hair out of the sleeping girl's face and leans in closer to put a soft kiss right on Brittany's lips. She makes a small sighing sound and Santana just keeps kissing her, obviously intending to wake her up.

When Brittany's lips are finally starting to respond, her eyes still closed, the Latina has to smile despite herself. She's sure there are worse ways of waking up in the morning.

A tongue is trying to enter Santana's mouth and the brunette pulls back, grinning at a confused Brittany who's opening her eyes and pouting at the sudden lack of contact.

"Oh look who's awake!" the Latina remarks teasingly.

"Don't stop kissing meee..." Brittany whines, sounding like a child, and Santana doesn't need to be asked twice before her lips are meeting the blonde's again.

She loves the feeling the other girl is giving her, it's so comfortable that she's sure she never wants to spend her mornings any different anymore. She's never felt this way with anyone else before and it's such a relief not to want to leave the bed in the morning and kick the other person out of the house or grab her own stuff and run away as fast as possible.

"I guess last night can easily be called the best night I ever had" she admits, taking in the blonde's sweet smell, reaching for her hand to entwine their fingers.

Brittany smiles and nods, stroking Santana's hand with her thumb.

"I wanna have breakfast with my girlfriend" she then states, big blue eyes happily staring at Santana's face which is only inches away from hers.

The Latina feels another happy tickle inside of her.

"Sounds perfect."

After a few more minutes of close snuggling, Santana finally stretches and crawls out of the bed.

"I so have to pee first though."

Brittany's hopping out of bed as well, immediately searching for a wide comfortable t-shirt.

"Here, you can put that on, no need to get back into this tight dress for now."

Santana loves how the other girl is so attentive and looking out for her and gratefully puts on the shirt and a pair of panties, enjoying how the soft material covers her still naked body, smelling just like Brittany.

Heading to the bathroom, the Latina suddenly runs into someone in the hallway.

"Oh.. um.. hello, Santana" Mister Pierce says, friendly but somehow a little surprised. He's eying the other girl's outfit before quickly turning his gaze away and clearing his throat.

"I didn't know you guys were having sleepovers again.."

"Uh.." Santana begins to stutter and suddenly wishes her shirt was a little longer and her hair looking less messy... she wonders if her cheeks are flushed and if she has the words '_I made out with your daughter all night' _are written on her forehead.

".. yeah.. we.. uh... it got a little later last night.. we had a ... school event..."

Mister Pierce's features soften and he smiles at the small girl.

"I'm glad you two are getting along again, I was already worried when I didn't see you around as often anymore."

"Thanks" Santana replies with a slightly embarrassed smile.

Just when she's about to end their little awkward conversation, Brittany is coming out of her room, pretty much dressed as Santana in a loosely buttoned wide blouse, tousled hair.

"Morning, dad" she greets her father, smiling naturally and wrapping her arms around the Latina from behind, letting her chin rest on the other girl's right shoulder.

Santana feels her body stiffen under Brittany's embrace, wondering if this position might not be a little too intimate in front of her parent. She senses Mister Pierce's slight confusion which is clearly reflecting on his face and his raised eyebrows.

"May I introduce you, this is Santana.."

Brittany's father starts frowning, yet he's still keeping his friendly expression.

"Honey, I still know who Santana is, it's not like - "

"You didn't let me finish" the blonde interrupts her father. "This is Santana, my girlfriend."

She smiles a proud smile, not letting go of the girl she's hugging.

Santana cannot believe her ears and though part of her feels hugely exposed and weird, most of her mind and body are completely in awe. Her eyes are not leaving Mister Pierce's face, scanning it for any sign of discomfort or antipathy. She cannot find any.

"Wow.. okay" he starts, nervously scratching the back of his head but smiling nonetheless.

"So it was Santana who made you so happy and giddy the other day... I should have figured."

Brittany giggles and nods again, squeezing Santana's body so hard that the Latina thinks she might not be able to breathe anymore.

"I'm happy for you two" he admits sincerely. "Oh and your mother bought bagels, I'm sure there are enough for all of us."

"Thanks, dad, we'll be downstairs in a minute."

When Brittany's father is out of the hallway, Santana's smile fades a little. She lets out a sigh and the blonde looks at her a little worried and insecure.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asks concerned, toying with her sleeves.

"No.. of course not. It's just..." Santana lets out a deep breath. "It's always so easy for you. Like.. you just do what you feel like doing and don't worry about anything."

"Hey" Brittany replies, squeezing the Latina's hand and looking at her encouragingly. "It can be easy for you, too. But... yeah, I don't want to pressure you, San. I don't expect you to introduce me to your parents right after breakfast, we have all the time you need."

Santana has to smile at the fact that Brittany takes the whole "introducing" part so seriously, considering her parents have known her for more than ten years now.

"I don't feel pressured, Brit.." she admits. "I want to do this ... _need_ to do this. It's just... not so easy for me."

"I'll be right beside you if you want me to" the blonde offers, her eyes not leaving Santana's in order to stress her point.

"Yes, I want you there with me" the Latina replies, realizing that it might probably really make her feel more comfortable. Even Rachel Berry had suggested that coming out was easier if you had the support of a loving partner.

"Okay" Brittany adds, smiling happily and positioning a kiss on the Latina's nose to lighten the mood again.

"And now please pee, I'm hungry!"

xxxx

Santana had tried to drag out the drive to her parents' house as long as possible. She found tons of things she suddenly needed to do on the way, such as buying toilet paper, or feeding the ducks in the park. As much as Brittany enjoyed these animals in general, she knew exactly what the Latina's behaviour was all about.

"We don't have to do it today, San. We can do it any other day" she says softly, throwing some bread at the quacking little birds.

Santana looks down on her hands, nervously scratching off her nail polish.

"I already called my mom and told her we'd come out for dinner..." she sighs. "It's gonna be now or never."

Mentally kicking herself in the butt, she gets up from the bench they'd been sitting on and takes Brittany's hand.

"Let's go!"

When they finally arrive at the Lopez' house, her mother is already awaiting them.

"Hey, chicas!" she greets them friendly, the whole dining room already smelling like paella that she's busy steering in her pan. "You can sit down already."

The girls sit down next to each other at the huge table which is lovingly set and decorated with fresh flowers and candles. Santana looks stiff and pale, occasionally blowing some hair out of her face and toying with the fork in front of her. The car hadn't been parked outside, so the Latina figures her dad might not be back from work yet.

After a few minutes, Misses Lopez comes out of the kitchen and pours some apple juice into the girls' glasses, sitting down opposite to Santana.

"So how are you doing, Brit? I was glad to hear you were coming over for dinner" the older Latina says friendly, smiling at the blonde. "You look pretty tonight"

The young dancer smiles right back at her, toying with one of her cherry earrings. She's glad to hear Antonia's compliment since she had spent quite a while picking through her closet to find an appropriate outfit that would make her look like the perfect daughter-in-law she wanted to be.

"Thanks" she replies happily, "I'm fine. I was looking forward to tonight, the food's already smelling great." Her cheeks are slightly flushed and she's surprised to realize that Santana's not the only nervous person in the room.

"Santana, mi corazón, you seem quiet" the mother states a little concerned and Brittany's gaze quickly flips between her girlfriend and the older woman.

"I need to talk to you" Santana brings out honestly, giving her mother a meaningful look.

"Okay, what is it sweetie?"

"I'd rather wait until dad's here, too" she admits, feeling horrified but proud she really makes herself go through with it.

Antonia seems to realize that her daughter might have a serious problem and just nods thoughtfully, her previous smile fading a little. When the three women hear the sound of keys at the entrance door, Brittany immediately starts stroking Santana's thigh under the table. It doesn't make the Latina's fear disappear but it certainly helps to know she has her girlfriend right beside her.

When her father is entering the hallway and cursing at the fact he just hit his knee at the dresser, Santana already knows he's in a bad mood. Sweat is building up on her forehead when the dining room door flies open and Mister Lopez does nothing but nod at the girls.

Turning to his wife he lets out a sigh. "Good that dinner is done already. I thought I'd never get home anymore, there was this car crash today. A bus. Three people died. I certainly don't need any more trouble today."

He takes off his jacket and carelessly throws it over the closest chair, sitting down next to his wife and sighing annoyed.

Santana knows that working at the hospital is stressful but she wishes he could just try to separate work more from his family life sometimes.

Brittany's strokes on Santana's leg become a little harder, knowing exactly that her girlfriend is feeling less encouraged every second. She wishes she could do something for the Latina but she doesn't know what's right anymore, so she just sits there and nervously smiles at Fernando Lopez.

Determinedly, Santana pushes her chair back and gets up, avoiding her parents' gaze.

"Excuse me, I gotta use the restroom."

With that she's out of the room, leaving Brittany awkwardly at the table whose smiling face has turned into some sort of tortured grimace.

"Uh.. I guess I'll check if she's alright" she says apologetic and quickly follows the Latina into the huge fancy bathroom.

"I can't do this" Santana blurts out when she hears Brittany close the door behind them. She's standing with her back to the blonde who carefully approaches her and lets her hand rest on the Latina's shoulders, massaging them a little.

"Honey... you can" the girl tries to encourage Santana. "You already made your decision and you know why? It's because it's what you really want. You want them to know their daughter and this is a huge part of you."

Tears are welling up in the Latina's eyes and she tries to focus on the pattern of the towels in front of her to keep herself from crying.

"You've seen my dad... he doesn't need any more disasters tonight. This would make it all worse..."

She's quickly brushing away the tear that's dangerously close to rolling down her cheek and even though Brittany can't see Santana's face, she feels her suffering in every single one of her bones.

She lets her lips brush against the Latina's neck which sends a shiver through the other girl's body. She's leaning into the soft touch, closing her eyes and remembering why she's doing this. Because she loves the blonde girl behind her and she doesn't want to hide it anymore.

"Okay.." she just whispers and Brittany wishes, more than anything, she could take this sadness away from Santana.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" Antonia asks when the girls sit down again, putting some paella on each of their plates.

Santana looks at Brittany and she just nods, winking quickly. The Latina turns her gaze back to her parents and clears her throat.

"I.. - " she coughs, taking a sip from her apple juice. "I think you might not like it."

'_We're getting closer_' she thinks. _'Now don't give up, Lopez.'_

"Madre mia, what is it? You got expelled, didn't you?" her mother blurts out, her hands already massaging her temples in desperation. "We told you so often to watch your mouth a bit more. I know we're an impulsive and emotional family, it's in the genes, but.. -"

"I didn't get expelled, mom!" Santana interrupts her mother, frowning at the fact that this is the first thing her mother thinks of.

"Oh, thank _god_" the mother breathes out relieved, drowning the whole glass of apple juice as if it was whiskey.

"I'm sure she's pregnant" her dad joins the speculations. "That's why she ran to the bathroom so quickly. Santana, you know I'm a doctor, I could have gotten you on the pill any time. It would have been easier than always running to that gynecologist downtown. I told you Doctor Harper wasn't the right choice, I never liked him, he was a weirdo at Med School. I bet he didn't give you the right prescription, I'm sure you -"

"_DAD!"_ Santana suddenly yells and all eyes are on her. Brittany wishes she'd know a secret tunnel in the Lopez' dining room that they could use to escape this awkward situation. Something that'd lead them to a happy place, something with rainbows and cotton candy. Her hand is petting her thigh again.

"Dad..." she starts again, her voice more calm, her heart pounding in her chest.

"I'm not pregnant... and you probably don't have to worry that I'll ever be.. at least not on a .. _natural_ way.."

Antonia's eyes widen immediately and she grabs her glass tighter, knuckles turning white.

"Honey.. what's going on? What are you talking about?"

Santana tries to keep it together. She looks at Brittany whose eyes are widened as well, but she tries to smile. She looks at her parents who just stare at her, hell she figures if they had deadly laser eyes, there'd be deep holes in her face by now. She swallows hard, keeps her eyes straight forward and clears her throat one more time.

"I'm gay."

There. She said it. She actually said it out loud and feels herself blush. Saying it feels so new, so fresh, so weird in front of them. Even though her breathing stays calm, her heart is beating so fast she can feel it hammering in her throat. Her knees are so shaky, she's sure she's not able to walk three steps without hitting the ground.

The dining room is quiet. Silence. It feels suffocating.

Santana can't stand the looks any longer, she has to turn her head away, facing her plate with the paella which is turning cold.

"Please..." she whispers. "Say something."

Her father lets out a small laugh.

"She's 17.." he states and no one is sure who he's adressing it to. "You're 17, Santana. It's okay to be curious, everyone is, I -"

"I'm not just 'curious', dad. I'm gay. It's a fact."

Silence again.

Brittany starts tapping her foot nervously, looking from Antonia to Santana and back to Fernando.

"So.." Antonia starts, her voice hoarse. "Are you two.. like.. a couple?"

Her voice is sounding high-pitched and it seems like she's hoping to hear a 'no'.

"Yes."

Oh this terrible silence.

"Misses Lopez, Mister Lopez.." Brittany suddenly jumps in with a friendly voice, trying to cover up her own insecurities. "Your daughter is a great girl. She's doing awesome at school, her grades are just fine, she's so intelligent. She's getting more and more solos in Glee Club because she's so talented. And.. she's happy like this. We're really happy together and we'd love to get your support. Santana loves you so much and it means everything to her, she's doing her very best so you can be proud of her."

If it were possible, Santana would blush even more at her girlfriend's loving words. She takes her hand under the table and locks their pinkies.

"But.. I really wanted to have grandchildren" Antonia states sadly, turning to her husband as if he could offer her any kind of solution.

"We can totally have children!" Brittany replies almost excitedly. "I love kids! There are so many possibilities - adopting, artificial fertilization, ... we can totally have a Hispanic baby!"

Santana's jaw drops open and she's looking at the girl next to her, questioningly. Brittany senses her girlfriend's confusion.

"I googled some things" she simply states, shrugging.

"You're unbelievable.." the Latina whispers but she can't hold back a small smile. The blonde never ceased to surprise her.

It doesn't seem like Santana's parents are up for discussing any of these options yet but at least there's no yelling or crying involved.

Antonia clears her throat again.

"Well.. if this is what truly makes you happy.. then.. I guess we'll find a way to be okay with it.. right, Fernando?" She's nudging her husband with her elbow.

"Yeah.. uh.." he starts, apparently still trying to bring his thoughts in order. "I have to say I really didn't see it coming.. but.. we love you, Santana. I might need some time to get used to this information.. but you're my daughter."

He looks serious but Santana knows he means it. She hadn't expected her parents to do a happy dance on the dining table after she'd dropped the bomb, there had been much worse scenarios in her head. The truth was out and it felt good.

She's looking over to Brittany again and she's sure she loves her even more than before. She swears, when they're alone she's gonna try to make her a million Hispanic babies.

xxxxxxxxxxx

They're lying on Santana's bed and Brittany is stroking the Latina's hair affectionately.

"Are you okay?" she asks quietly.

"Yeah.. I think I am.. but Brit?"

"Hm?"

"I think there's one more thing I need to do.." Santana says carefully, looking over to her girlfriend.

"What is it?"

"I think I need to talk to Stacey... it feels all so... _unresolved_. Would that be okay?"

Brittany just smiles and nods. "Of course, San. You should totally call her."

Santana is glad the blonde is always so understanding and leans in for a kiss. It's innocent but expresses all of her feelings.

The Latina grabs her phone and starts texting.

_'Hey there. Do U think we could maybe.. talk? PLS let me know if UR up for it. San'_

Brittany's tracing soft lines with her fingers along Santana's arm until her phone vibrates and Stacey's answer is showing up on her display.

_'Sure. Guess we got some catching up 2 do. Can I pick U up?'_

Santana lets Brittany read the conversation, not wanting to hide anything from her.

_'Alright. Be here in 20. I'll be outside.'_

"Do you want to wait here until I'm back? I guess it won't take that long.. and.. I'd kind of love to come back and know you're here" Santana admits honestly, letting her head rest on the blonde's chest.

Brittany just smiles. "Take your time. I'll be here."

xxxxxxxxxx

They're sitting in that orange Beetle again and it's just slightly awkward. Santana looks at the sunflowers, listens to the loud roaring engine of the old car and watches Stacey's hair wave in the cool summer breeze. It all feels like yesterday since she sat in the tiny vehicle for the first time and she feels something like... _melancholy._

Stacey hadn't been surprised when the Latina had suggested where they should go, she's pretty sure she would have come up with the same idea.

When they get out of the car, Santana is the first to climb through the small hole in the fence, directly heading to the tower.

"I see you remember the way" the blonde shouts after her, laughing a little.

"I do. And I still don't believe there are any boars here" she replies grinning, happy to finally see the huge white building show up behind the trees.

They quickly climb up the stairs and even though it's nothing new, the view is still breathtaking.

"Promise me that this isn't the last time we come up here?"

"It isn't the last time we come up here" Stacey promises as she was told, laughing, but Santana knows she means it.

They had decided to go for lemonade instead of beer this time. The bottles are still cool and the girls start drinking, enjoying the landscape in front of them.

"It feels like ages ago.." Santana starts thoughtfully, a little unsure what Stacey might be thinking about the whole situation.

"It does... so much happened in such a short time, it's crazy.."

"Are you and Sarah.. are you.. back together?" the Latina asks carefully, not wanting to start an uncomfortable topic.

"I don't know to be honest.." Stacey admits, but to Santana's relief she doesn't seem entirely distressed. "We want to take things slow... but well... " she has to laugh, "she's moved in with us and we're kind of sharing the same bed... so I'm not sure this can really be called 'slow'."

Santana is surprised about the revelation but she's glad and somehow thankful that the other girl doesn't seem heartbroken and is finding her way back to someone else.

"I'm glad to hear that" she says, smiling sincerely, taking another sip from her fresh lemonade.

They look at each other for a while until Santana thinks she can see something like shyness on the other girl's face.

"You okay?"

"Yeah..." Stacey replies "I was just wondering... do you regret anything?"

The question isn't very explicit but the Latina knows what the blonde is referring to.

"No" she says determinedly. "Nothing at all."

It's nice to be around Stacey. Santana realizes she doesn't want her out of her life. She's grateful for everything they've experienced together and she's still looking up to the blonde in many ways.

"Are you happy?" Stacey wants to know, and it sounds hopeful, not jealous.

"I am. Happier than I've been in a very long time." Her voice is soft and warm and somehow dreamy. "Are you?"

"I think I will be. I hope we all will be."

xxxxxxxxxx

In the meantime Brittany is rolling around on Santana's bed, watching cartoons with Pandi who's - as always - resting on the Latina's pillow.

She does an excited jump when she hears the sounds of 'Oops I did it again'. She grabs her phone and is more than surprised that it's not Santana's but Sarah's picture which is flashing on her display.

"Sarah!" she shouts into the speaker. "How are you?"

"I'm good!" the friendly voice answers. "And I'm calling to say thank you."

"What for?" the blonde wants to know, laying down on her belly, her cell pressed closely to her ear.

"Well, you totally helped me get my girl."

Brittany excitedly squeaks into the phone, causing Sarah to laugh and hold hers a little further away from her own ear. "O.M.G. I'd totally high-five you now if I could!"

"Haha, yeah, we've been an awesome team!" Sarah concludes, smiling proudly.

"We really were. We are like some sort of.. _superheroes_." Brittany's eyes are glowing at the thought.

"Aren't superheroes there to save others and not themselves?" Sarah questions her theory teasingly.

"Huh? I helped you and you helped me, that totally counts!" Brittany explains, entirely convinced.

"Okay, you have a point there. So.. - " she's faking a serious and raspy voice, "..it's been an honor working with you, Power Pierce."

Brittany can't hold back her giggles.

"Same goes to you, Super Sarah!"

"Sooo... should we feel weird that our girlfriends, who happen to be ex-girlfriends, are hanging out right now?" Sarah asks, half joking, half serious.

"Oh no" Brittany smiles, "...don't worry, they're crazy about us!"

xxxxxxxx

_4 Weeks later..._

"Hey girls!"

"Hey Rob!" Brittany and Santana reply simultaneously, greeting the tall doorman and smiling at him.

"You both look stunning tonight!"

The guy is such a charmer, looking so dangerous but yet acting like a total teddy bear.

"Are the others inside yet?" Santana wants to know while taking her jacket off.

"Not yet, but I'll let them know you're here" he replies cheerfully and the girls walk into the club where Brittany immediately drags Santana on the dancefloor and twirls her around to an old Spice Girls song. Even when she's dorky, she still looks so hot, Santana can't stop grinning.

They do their silly moves, hop around and share kisses, spotting Jules behind the bar who waves at them, winking.

"There you are!" Santana finally shouts when she sees the two girls entering the club, hand in hand. They run towards each other and the Latina drags Sarah in for a hug while Brittany is busy greeting Stacey, complementing her on her new colorful sneakers.

They're building a small circle on the dancefloor, jumping and singing to a Lady Gaga song, poking each other and making silly jokes. Santana and Stacey have to roll their eyes a few times at the millionth time their girlfriends make superhero references, still having no clue what this is even about.

"So how are the plans with your parents? It's been a while now" Santana asks Sarah after a few more songs. She herself is glad that her parents at least accept her relationship with Brittany. Even though she knows they'd prefer seeing her with a boy, she knows they like her girlfriend very much and want her to be happy. She hopes Sarah might get to that point with her family one day as well.

"Well, I love staying at Shonda's and I love being around Stacey, but I'm afraid at some point we might smash our heads and end up dead." She laughs.

"I don't wanna ruin anything by 'too much too soon' cause I guess we're still too young to live together forever. So I've called my mother and told her that I'm back in Lima and ...yeah.. about the situation. I told her I'm not ready to see her again - and I sure as hell never wanna move back in there. But I have a job interview next week and will try to come up with enough money to maybe get my own little place around here.."

"Oh, that's awesome!" Brittany shouts out excited. "Then we can totally have parties at your place all the time!"

"Haha, yeah, as long as you help me clean up the next day" Sarah replies with a wink.

"And well, she also allowed me to pick up Chloe from time to time, she said she misses me very much..."

Stacey hugs her girlfriend from the side and squeezes her shoulder, pressing a kiss on her cheek.

"Who knows.. " Sarah continues, "maybe we will have a family dinner again one day."

There's clearly some sadness left in her eyes, but all of them know she's being strong and doing the right thing for her and her relationship. The girls have stopped dancing , giving the small brunette a rather compassionate look.

"Aww guys , come on, party tiiime, no room for sad faces!" she shouts, but there's still a small tear in the corner of her eyes.

"Time for a group hug!" Brittany exclaims and she doesn't need to say it twice before the three of them have wrapped their arms around Sarah, giggling. She doesn't wanna say it out loud, but she figures she doesn't neccessarily need her parents to have awesome family dinners, she has everyone she needs right here.

"Oh I just loooove that song" Brittany finally says and wraps her arms around Santana's neck, immediately pressing a long kiss on her lips.

Stacey turns Sarah around to wrap her arms around her from behind and the smaller girl leans her back against the blonde's front, both slowly moving to the music.

_I've always been so careful with my footstep_

_So safe, so delicate_

_I let my heart move to my head_

_But look at where that got me_

_Letting love just pass me by, missin' out on butterflies_

"I'm really glad you came out Santana. Maybe I haven't told you enough, but I'm so proud of you" Brittany tells the Latina and brushes some dark hair out of her girlfriend's face.

"And I'm really glad I could do it it with you. Maybe I haven't told you enough, but I really love you."

_I'm shootin' off a flare across the sky_

_Lighting up the night_

_The signal's out, I'm ready now, come find me_

_Like a diamond shining in the sand_

_Hold me in your hands_

_I'm callin' out, I'm ready now, come find me_

Brittany smiles and kisses her and Santana drags her even closer while they're both humming the melody of the song. She lets her head rest on the blonde's shoulder and looks over to the other girls. Stacey's and her eyes meet and they just grin at each other and nod.

Maybe she had not only found Brittany, maybe they had all found each other.

xxxxxxxxxxx

THE END

**A/N: Now that was a bit cheesy, wasn't it? Haha, I'm a sucker for happy endings though! Thanks again to everyone who followed the story, it's been a lot of fun! :) If you have a minute, press the review button and let me know what you thought of it!**


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